Daughter of Dark Magic
by Gabriel Tannin
Summary: Cadence never knew her Father After her Mother's sudden murder she learns of her true heritage and moves to London for safety from the Death Eaters that hunt her. She finds few to trust at Hogwarts, and is unsure if she can trust those that claim to love.
1. Flashes

The title of this installment (the first) of Cadence's story has changed. The next installment (the second) will be called Daughter of Dark Magic and Pure Blood, sorry if there is any confusion.

* * *

_There is a light that I often see in my dreams. I wonder, is it the flashing light that is said to be seen before death comes, is it the light that brings back the memories of my life and how I lived it, or is it simply a flash—a realization of something that has been troubling me for a long time, something like my Father or my Mother? _

_I never knew my Father. Sometimes, when I was very young, I often wondered how I ever came to be on this Earth. My Mother never spoke of him, but from what I understood he was not a good man. He left her when she was young and pregnant with me. She couldn't take the heart ache and moved to America to escape him. _

_Sometimes, I wish I didn't have that flash in my dreams. If I didn't see the blinding light, I wouldn't wonder what it meant. I wouldn't think about my life and wonder what I could have done better, what I could have found out and what I could have seen. I wouldn't think about my Father and how much I wanted to forget about him the moment I found out who he was…I just wish that I didn't know. I wish for some many things to have been different. _


	2. Black

Black was not a color that I liked very much. I didn't look very good in it, despite my pale skin, dark green eyes and dark brown hair. Perhaps it wasn't the color that I necessarily didn't like; it was the event that I had to wear black to that was making my stomach sick.

There are no words that could describe the pain and emotions running through me as I sat in a white wooden chair, with a number of people around me, looking at my Mother's open casket. Her skin was waxy and paler then mine, and her dark brown curls were pinned perfectly against her head. She was wearing bad make up; although I don't think any type of make up would have made her look good. Death never looked good.

Despite the number of people that sat on either side and then behind me I felt very much alone. I was never very close to anyone but my Mother. I had never needed anyone but her. There was her best friend Timothy Level, who she had named my Godfather, but other then him (and really I was not as close with him as my Mother would have liked) I had no one; no friends, and the only family I had remained in England where my Mother was from.

I don't remember much of her service, I was numb—not crying and barely listening—there was nothing that could make her leave better. Timothy took my hand and led me to the Muggle car that we were to take back to our house. I didn't understand how Mother ever found Timothy as a best friend when he was more of a Muggle then a wizard, but she loved him and respected him I suppose. It was when we arrived back at the house that everything in my life seemed to finally change, in what I had hoped was for the better.

Timothy opened the car door for me and I stepped out into the wet grass, my black heel sinking into the moist dirt a little. He took my hand as I looked down at the ground and we walked slowly up to the house. On the front porch I took a slow breath as Timothy opened the front door.

"You don't need to come in with me," I whispered. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yea," I said. "I just want to be alone for awhile."

Timothy seemed to understand and nodded his head. He kissed my forehead and gave me a hug, even though I wished he wouldn't.

"Helen and I will come by later to check on you."

I nodded and thanked him. He walked down the porch slowly, glancing back at me as I stood in front of the threshold of my house, debating if I really wanted to go in. When I finally worked up the nerve, I stepped into my own house. My eyes immediately fell on the stairway leading to the top floor of our home. That's where she fell. That's where my Mother died.

I was staring blankly at the stairs for a few moments, wondering about my Mother, how she fell. How could she have died that way, of all the ways? I heard a light cough from the living room that made me jump slightly. It brought me from my lost world of thought and caused my heart to skip a beat. Was she right there in the living room, waiting for me?

I stepped across the hall quickly with false hope that my Mother was really alive. It was a foolish thing to think of really. My eyes filled with disappointment as I looked into the living room.

There sat an old man, dressed in a fine looking suit. He had a white mustache over his lip and circle glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. His white hands were folded on his lap and he was sitting up very straight. He looked like a pompous man in his rich outfit and clean cut posture. There wasn't a stray hair on his head, and even the wrinkles on his old face looked perfect.

"How'd you get in here?" I asked. I recognized him instantly from pictures that I had seen in old photo albums of my Mothers. "What do you want?"

"Hello Cadence," he said in a soft voice as he stood up and removed his grey hat. "I'm sorry for your lost."

"I would think it was your lost too," I said crossing my arms over my chest.

I looked at my Grandfather with raised eyebrows and unforgiving eyes.

"You have a lot of nerve to show up here and not to her damn funeral."

"I doubt Candice would have wanted me there," he whispered.

I could only shrug at the old man. My Mother did not have a very good relationship with her parents because of my Father. They had warned her about him and she hadn't listened. It was easier to hate them and their disapproval then admit that she was wrong. I didn't think my Mother did the right thing, but my Grandparents weren't very forgiving either. Seemed it was a flaw of my family.

For some reason my Grandparents seemed to forgive me though. They often sent gifts to me on my birthday and for Christmas; and had even invited me to stay with them for some summer holidays. They never invited my Mother though; and there was never a package for her from them on her birthday or Christmas.

I did not know my Grandparents very well, but what I did know of them I didn't like. I was not happy that the old man had the nerve to come into my house and make tea like there was nothing wrong, and my Mother hadn't just died.

"What do you want?" I asked again.

"I was hoping we could sit and have some tea," he said in his strong English accent. (I knew that tea would be involved). "And talk."

"About what?"

"Well, you certainly get straight to the point," he said with a cough.

"I don't have time for anything else. What do you want Caldwell?"

This surprised him. He raised his eyebrows at me and did indeed looked surprised.

"You'll call me by my name?"

"I have nothing else to call you," I whispered. "Now, please, what do you want? I wish to get back to my day of morning."

"I would like it very much if you would come back to England with me," he said.

My mouth opened slightly and then closed. He wasn't serious. I looked at him closely to see a sign of weakness. I could not see a flaw in his wrinkled skin, and no twinkle in his eye that said he was lying to me. Before I could stop myself I opened his mind to my own and peeled through his thoughts, reading them like a layered puzzle of gibberish. I could find nothing in his head that said he was lying.

"That's just ridiculous," I finally said when I could not find a lie in his head.

"No," he whispered. "It's not really. I'm the last of your family. It is my responsibility to take care of you."

"Mother wouldn't have wanted you of all people to take care of me," I said. "Besides, I can take care of myself."

"You're fifteen," he said softly. "You need protection and guidance."

"That's why I have Timothy."

"Did Timothy protect you when that wizard attacked you and your Mother and killed her?"

I looked at him sharply.

"How do you know about that?"

"Candice was my daughter," he said in a condescending manner. "Just because we didn't talk doesn't mean I didn't love her."

I really didn't see what that had to do with it. How did he find out about how my Mother was killed?

"It doesn't matter how I found out," said Caldwell. "The point is, Cadence, you're not safe here, especially alone. You need to come to England with me. You'll finish school there at Hogwarts, and live with me over the summer."

"You can't just walk into my life like this and assume I'm going to leave with you."

"It's the safest thing for you," he said. "And if I knew anything about your Mother, I knew that she wanted you to be safe. That's why she came here."

"So why would I leave?"

Caldwell sighed and rubbed his head.

"Because the Death Eaters found her," he whispered. "And they know that you're here now…alone. I'm surprised they haven't killed you already."

"Death Eaters?" I had never heard the name before and it was easy to say that it sent shivers through my body. My Grandfather looked at me with some surprise, like he thought I should know the word.

"You've never heard of Death Eaters?" he whispered with bewilderment.

"No," I said. "I'm assuming you're referring to the freak-wizard that was dressed in black and wearing a mask when he came here and knocked Mother down the stairs."

"Yes," said Caldwell slowly. "Death Eaters are followers of the Dark Lord Voldemort. He's a dark wizard, very powerful and deadly. He's trying to rid the magical world of half bloods and muggle-borns. He thinks only pure-bloods should have the right to study and practice magic. His Death Eater came here from England looking to kill your Mother. I don't think they originally knew of your existence."

"Why?" I asked. "That just seems stupid, and a waste of time."

"It wasn't a waste of time because they managed to kill your Mother," he said.

"Well I managed to kill him so it was a waste on his part."

Caldwell seemed not to be listening to me and was now pacing in the living room. He was rubbing his head as he walked, and when he stopped he took off his glasses and cleaned them off with his handkerchief. I was watching him intently; rather confused at what was going on…Death Eaters killed my Mother…why though…why come all the way to America to kill her?

"Why would a Death Eater want to kill Mother?" I asked almost afraid of the answer.

He lifted his head and looked at me quite seriously. He put his glasses back on and frowned as she shoved his handkerchief back into his coat pocket.

"She was a Death Eater and abandoned them once she became pregnant with you," he whispered.

There was a silence in the room—I thought the only thing I could hear was my heart pumping in my chest. I shook my head at Caldwell. It wasn't true; my Mother wasn't a follower of this Voldemort. She wasn't a hurtful or violent person. How could she practice dark magic and believe in only pure-bloods?

"I know it's hard to believe," Caldwell said trying to comfort me. "I didn't believe it either when your Grandmother and I found out. Candice was always such a sweet girl; she was an innocent girl until she met your Father and he pulled her into the damned clan surrounding You-Know-Who."

"You-Know-Who?"

"We don't call him by his name," Caldwell said. "To speak it is sure to bring him to your house."

"So you'd rather live in fear of him?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't understand," my Grandfather said shaking his head. "We shouldn't worry about that now though. We need to get out of here Cadence. We don't know if he'll send another Death Eater to kill you."

"Why would he?"

"Loose ends," Caldwell said. I didn't like how quickly he answered. He put his hat on his head and turned to the couch where a long cloak was lying. He pulled it around him and looked around the house. "Come…we must be going."

"I'm not going with you just like that," I said. "You haven't given me a reason good enough to go with you."

"Your life is not a good enough reason?"

"It is, but I don't believe I'm in danger."

The words couldn't have sooner left my lips when the front door burst off its hinges and a dark figure entered the house. Caldwell shoved me out of the way strongly (surprising because of his old age) and I hit the ground with a groan. I looked up as my Grandfather expelled a spell of white light and the Death Eater, in his black robes and skull like mask, went sailing backwards. He crashed into the railing of the stairs, breaking it into pieces. He was lying where my Mother had died, and part of me now hoped that he would die there too.

Caldwell turned around and grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet. Before anything else could happen, there was an explosion from the wand tip of the Death Eater and my Grandfather and I went flying apart. Flames erupted out on the couch and were quickly spreading onto the walls and curtains. The Death Eater marched towards my Grandfather, wand extended and looking deadly. I jumped up and ran at the attacker, grabbing a near by lamp and throwing it into the back of his head. The Death Eater collapsed onto the ground with shards of glass around him. I stepped over him and took my Grandfather's hand, pulling him up. He held me against him and in a sudden squeezing sensation we were gone.

The living room disappeared from my view, suddenly we were in nothing but darkness, being squished down a small tub. My eardrums were going to burst from the pressure that was building around me. I wanted to scream at the awkward feeling, but I could not. Suddenly, and painfully, the ground hit my feet and my knees gave from the sudden landing. Caldwell managed to catch me and help me up.

I shoved him away in anger.

"Where are we?" I questioned sharply. Looking around me the only thing I could see was darkness. I turned and there was a large house behind us, just past the gated fence that we had Apparated in front of. I looked at my Grandfather with deadly eyes.

"This is my home," he said.

"We're in England!?"

"Just south of London actually," he said opening the gate and looking around the dirt road we were standing on. "Come on, we need to get into the house."

He could see the hesitation in my eyes as my mind raced. I wasn't sure if I was really angry with him or not…if I should be angry with him…he was right after all. A Death Eater just tried to kill me again; my house in New York was on fire, probably burning to the ground, a long with any possessions I had left.

"You have nothing left in America, Cadence," he whispered to me touching my shoulder. He ushered me onto the path and we walked up to the house slowly. I didn't want to admit it allowed, but I knew he was right.

Inside the house was dark and forbidding. I felt like there was no life in the house; the only light came from the sitting room to the right of the hallway that we were standing in. My Grandfather took off his cloak and hung it on a coat rack where only one other cloak hung. I heard the sound of shuffling feet and looked around but saw no one appearing from the darkness.

"Welcome home Master," said a small squeaky voice.

I looked down to see a small creature, dressed in an old dress and apron looking up at my Grandfather and me with large purple eyes and floppy ears. There was a small hat on her head, forcing her ears down on either side of her head, and she wore small slippers on her large feet. I couldn't help but smile at the elf and stare at her a little—I had never seen a house elf before and was amazed by her.

"Hello Daisy," said my Grandfather. "This is my Granddaughter, Cadence. She'll be living with us now."

"Hello Miss," Daisy said as she bowed in front of me. Her long nose almost touched the floor then she stood up straight and looked back at my Grandfather. "Would you like some tea, Sir?"

"That'd be very nice, thank you."

"Professor Dumbledore arrived moments before you, Sir. He's waiting in the sitting room for you," she said. "I'll go get your tea…"

I watched her shuffle off down the hall slowly. She disappeared completely into the darkness and I blinked at my Grandfather.

"She's a servant and will listen to anything you say," he said softly. "She is bond to us and us to her, and you shall not for any reason or by any means send her away until she is completely in your charge."

I nodded my head slowly and ran my hand through my hair. I felt very dirty and tired.

"I would like you to meet Dumbledore," Caldwell said. "Please, come into the sitting room. You can go to bed once Daisy has prepared a room for you."

I followed my Grandfather towards the light that was coming from the sitting room and was thankful for it as my eyes readjusted to it. The light was pouring from light lamps and a large fire on the hearth. By the looks of the room, it was obvious that my Grandfather was a very wealthy man. The room was well furnished with rich fabrics and dark woods. Elegant portraits and pieces of work hung on the walls and decorated the mantel, and I was sure I saw many objects of silver in a cabinet on display.

My Grandfather greeted a thin, frail looking man, sitting in an arm chair with a shake of the hand. The man looked at me with piercing, but twinkling, light blue eyes that blinked past his moon shaped glasses. His hair was long and white, matching his beard, and a sharp contrast against his dark blue robes which matched the cloak that hung in the hall.

The man stood up and raised his long pointed hat to me and bowed low in greeting.

"Miss Cadence," he said. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School."

"He is also a good friend of mine," said Caldwell sitting down as Daisy entered with a tray of tea and cookies. She was balancing it on her head and slowly slid it onto the coffee table in the middle of the room. My Grandfather thanked her and asked her to prepare a room for me, which she immediately left to do.

"It's nice to meet you," I said to the old man.

"I see you made it to England safely," he said sitting down. "Your Grandfather and I were concerned for your safety when we heard that your Mother had been murdered by a Death Eater."

"One attacked us just before we left," said Caldwell spooning sugar into his tea. He stirred it then took a slow sip. His eyes looked thankful for the warm liquid and I could not help but think he looked rather foolish.

"Then you went at the right time," said Dumbledore with a nod at my Grandfather. "If we had waited a day you would have been too late."

"How did you hear of my Mother's death?" I asked sitting down across from my Grandfather. My Grandfather blinked at me for a moment, but then drank more of his tea. Dumbledore looked directly at me.

"We were sent word of your Mother's death," he whispered. "We assumed that a Death Eater had something to do with it."

"And when I arrived in New York our suspicions were confirmed."

"How?"

"I spoke with Timothy," said Caldwell. I looked at him shocked and felt a small pain in my heart—that of betrayal by Timothy. He knew that my Grandfather was coming for me and didn't warn me? There were no words that came out of my mouth, so instead my Grandfather looked at Dumbledore.

"I have no doubt that You-Know-Who knows of Cadence."

"Just because a Death Eater attacked before you left?"

"Why else would he have come back?"

"To finish the job that his fellow Death Eater did not," Dumbledore suggested. "A loose end that needed to be tied…and there is no proof that Voldemort would know of Cadence simply because another Death Eater came to finish her off." I didn't notice it before, but my Grandfather shuttered a little at the sound of Voldemort's name. I raised an eyebrow at him. I wish he would just say his name.

"Please do not speak his name in my house."

"He does not hear everyone who says his name Caldwell," Dumbledore said seriously and drank some tea. "You should not fear the name, it only increases the fear that you have of the thing. And he gets great pleasure knowing that people fear him so much so not to speak his name."

My Grandfather said nothing.

"Why does it matter if Voldemort knows who I am?" I asked abruptly breaking the short silence that had settled in the room. My Grandfather looked at me like I had said a dirty cuss word and Dumbledore looked at me with a frank smile.

"It matters a great deal, Cadence," whispered Dumbledore. "You are safer if he doesn't know you."

"Why?"

My Grandfather sighed and took my hand.

"He is a dangerous wizard Cadence; no one wishes to be known by him."

I didn't like his answer. I felt like he was trying to protect me from something that I didn't need to be protected from.

"You're not protecting me anymore by not telling me."

"You don't want to know," he said wearily.

"How much do you know of your Mother's past?" Dumbledore asked me softly.

"Not as much as I thought I did," I said back. "I just found out that she was apparently a Death Eater here in London before she came to America."

Dumbledore nodded his head slowly.

"I don't know if I could believe that though," I whispered sadly thinking of the woman that I had just buried that very morning. "The Candice I knew was nothing but good. She helped people around us, she was good…I just…I'm not sure I understand."

"Your Mother was a good person until she met your Father," whispered my Grandfather. I blinked at him for a moment with a frown. "He corrupted her…made her into a murdering Death Eater…twisted her thoughts so that she believed only pure-bloods should practice magic…he destroyed her. She finally came to her senses when she became pregnant with you. She ran for your safety, and knew that your Grandmother and I could not forgive her…I wanted to forgive her, she just never gave me the chance. She ran to America in hopes that your Father wouldn't be able to find you there. Nothing meant more to her then you, Cadence."

"I know that," I said softly to him. I wasn't sure if I believed the part of his story about wanting to forgive my Mother. I couldn't tell from the blank look in his eyes what he truly wanted though, so I pushed the thought from my mind and looked at Dumbledore who was looking at me with studying, yet calm, blue eyes.

"Obviously," he said folding his hands together. "Voldemort found your Mother and sent Death Eaters to kill her for abandoning him. He is only now starting to truly gain power in the magically world, which is not good. But fifteen years ago he was gaining followers and Voldemort does not just let you leave once you've become one of his Death Eaters. Did your Mother ever were short sleeves, Cadence?"

"No," I said blankly. "She was cold all the time. Even in the summer."

"She wore long sleeves to cover the Dark Mark that was tattooed into her skin," spat my Grandfather. I blinked at him.

"Dark Mark?"

"It's Voldemort's symbol," said Dumbledore. "If he wishes to call his Death Eaters to him he simply has to touch the mark on one of them and they all feel it burn. They come to him immediately."

"So my Father was a Death Eater?"

"Is a Death Eater," corrected my Grandfather.

"He is the greatest of them," said Dumbledore softly. "Not that they are great…rather he is the strongest, and their leader."

"So he's close to Voldemort?" I asked.

"He is You-Know-Who," Caldwell said very bluntly with spite. He had finished his tea, which I'm sure there was brandy in as I noted the way he drank it. There was a shocking silence in the room after his words and I wasn't quiet sure what to think. My Father was the leader of the Death Eaters and trying to take over the magic world in England so that he could rid the world of half-bloods and muggle-borns?

"You're joking," I whispered trying to reassure myself that he wasn't being serious.

"This wouldn't be something to joke about," he said very seriously.

"I'm afraid he's not," said Dumbledore. "You're in danger, Cadence, because if Voldemort finds out that you are his daughter he will either want you on his side or dead. Voldemort trust no one and is close to no one, only himself. He believes in living forever, and wants nothing more then to do so. By passing his blood onto you he essentially will continue to live. He will no doubt want you on his side of the fight. You are probably just as strong as him, intelligent, and powerful. You'd be a strong asset to his fight; that is if you choose to follow him."

"I'm not into killing people because of who their parents are," I whispered with frankness. I rubbed my forehead softly as the throbbing of a headache started to come.

"You should keep this information to yourself," Dumbledore told me softly. "People will not trust you if they know you are his daughter; and you would no doubt be accused of being a Death Eater and end up in Azkaban. You need to be _very_ careful, Cadence."

"You must keep the name of Coleman," said my Grandfather. "We do not want anyone to know who your Father is, nor let your Father find you."

I didn't say anything as Daisy entered the sitting room quietly. I wasn't really sure what to say. Everything was happening so quickly. Mother was dead, and not even hours after her funeral I was learning of her other life—her secret murderous life before me. I was learning of my Father, who I had never even known or been able to name as a child. Suddenly I was in greater danger then I had been my whole life and I was alone. There was no one to help me…at least that's how I felt.

"Miss's room is ready," said Daisy breaking the silence. I stood up quickly. I wanted to get out of there and sleep, or try to anyways.

"Good night," whispered Caldwell.

"I shall be seeing you at Hogwarts, Cadence," said Dumbledore.

I nodded my head.

"It was nice to meet you," I whispered. Dumbledore gave me a reassuring smile and nodded.

"You will be safer here," he whispered. "Trust your Grandfather, he is a good and protective man."

I nodded and turned away, following Daisy out of the room. I stopped in the threshold and turned back to look at the two men. There was one question that was burning in my mind.

"Did Mother ever kill anyone?" I whispered sadly. I was dying to hear the answer, and praying that it would be no. No she hadn't murdered anyone.

Dumbledore and my Grandfather looked grim.

"I don't know for sure," whispered Caldwell refilling is tea cup. "But it would be a false hope to think she hadn't. She was a Death Eater Cadence, one usually can't hold that position with out killing at least once."

I said nothing and turned away. Daisy was standing at the base of the stairs, waiting for me to follower her through the darkness up them. She held a candle on a tray in her hand and hopped quickly up the stairs. I followed her in a slight trance, and when we arrived at the bedroom, thanked her. She light a candle for me and wished me sweet dreams then left the room.

I pulled on the pajamas she had laid out for me and fell onto the sheets and fluffy feather pillows in a numbness that was very familiar. This is how I had felt when she died, and now…this was just how I felt…there was nothing to describe anything that was going through my head or body at that moment. I was lost in thoughts of my Mother and who she really was. I was lost and alone. The only thing around me was darkness, blackness and I did not like being lost in it.


	3. Diagon Alley and Demetrius

When I woke up the next morning I looked around the bedroom confused. I did not recognize the room as my own, and I had not gotten a good look at it last night in the dark so now seeing it in the light of morning was most surprising. The room was a lavished yellow color, glowing and calm. The sunlight seemed to make the walls glow more and greeted me with a feeling of warmth. I knew I would get sick of the yellow in a few days. Dark wood furniture decorated the room; a wardrobe, vanity and desk in one of the far corners; also two small tables on either side of the bed. The bed itself was massive, a four poster bed, with yellow comforters and white sheets.

I climbed out of the bed and opened the door closest to me. Inside was a deep walk-in closet full of clothes. I didn't understand where all of the clothes had come from and wondered if they had at one point been my Mother's. Had this been my Mother's room? I walked across the room to the other dark door; behind it was a white marble bathroom.

I felt intimidated by my surroundings. My whole life I had lived in an old middle class two story house, with ratty furniture and cheap appliances. Here I was in England, in a summer mansion it seemed. I washed my face carefully in the sink and looked at the large square glass shower. I stepped into it and turned on the water. It felt so warm and welcoming. The shower heads put out the right amount of pressure and the hot water was relaxing to my sore body.

Once I had showered I found some jeans that fit perfectly to my hips and a tee shirt that was a size too big for me. I left my bedroom cautiously after brushing my hair and looked around the hallway I was in. I could see the stairs at the end of the hall and walked down them, surprised by how beautiful the house was now that it was full of light. At the bottom of the stairs I found myself in the entrance hall that had been so very dark last night. I wasn't really sure where to go, but turned and walked down the hall in the direction Daisy had walked last night when she went to make tea. I was pleased to find myself in the kitchen.

"Oh, Miss," said Daisy jumping off a stool and moving forward to me. She took my hand and led me across the large kitchen. "Master is in the dinning room."

"Thank you Daisy," I said as she pushed open a swinging door and we entered a large dinning room, painted red with dark wood furniture and black curtains hanging over the windows. My Grandfather was sitting at the table eating porridge. He was reading a newspaper with moving pictures on the front page. Daisy brought over a full pot of coffee once she had released my hand and refilled my Grandfather's cup. He thanked her and looked at me.

"Good morning Cadence."

"Good morning," I said sitting down, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"What would Miss like for breakfast?" asked Daisy. I looked at her. I didn't usually eat breakfast.

"Can I just have some toast, please?"

"Of course," said Daisy. She hopped off into the kitchen, disappearing behind the swinging door.

"I trust that you slept well," Caldwell said to me.

I looked at him and nodded my head slowly. He hadn't put down his paper. I was looking at the front page of the _Daily Prophet_ and frowned slightly. There was a list of peoples' names who had been killed in a fire in mid-London. My Grandfather didn't seem phased by the news that people had died that morning. I reminded myself that he was probably used to people dying every day—especially if he was fighting against Voldemort.

"I'm taking you to Diagon Alley today," he said. "To get your school supplies and some new clothes. I see you've found your Mother's old clothes. Everything in the room is what she left behind. It's yours now."

I wasn't really sure what to say.

"Thank you," I finally whispered.

Daisy bobbed back into the dinning room with my breakfast and a cup of orange juice. I thanked her greatly as she placed the food in front of me with some difficultly because of her height. She made her leave to do some chores around the house and left me alone in the silence with my Grandfather. It was an awkward breakfast, one of many to follow.

I wasn't sure what I should be wearing into the world of wizards, so I simply through on a pullover from my closet before I met my Grandfather downstairs in the entrance hall. He was dressed in another expensive suit and was pulling on his cloak when I entered. He frowned slightly as me as I descended the stairs, giving me a quick look over. I said nothing and tucked my hair behind my ear, then put my hands in my pockets.

"Should I be bringing anything with me?"

"No," he shook his head as Daisy handed him his hat and a walking cane. "I have your book list. Dumbledore left it last night before he left."

"When do I go to school?" I asked as Daisy opened the door.

"Thank you Daisy," said Caldwell walking onto the front porch.

"Thank you," I said to her. She bowed to us and closed the door behind me.

"You go back in two weeks," my Grandfather said stepping down the steps. He walked down the garden path, his cane clicking when it hit the cobble stone along with the heels of his boots. I walked quickly behind him, keeping up.

"And I'll be considered what there?" I asked.

He glanced at me.

"Oh," he said understanding what I meant. "You'll be a sixth year. Dumbledore said once you arrive a prefect will escort you to his office and he will sort you."

"Sort me?"

"Yes," said Caldwell with a soft sigh.

We were now walking down the long dirt road towards a small village in the distances. I was wondering why we weren't traveling by magic, but I didn't ask.

"Students at Hogwarts are placed into four houses," he said. "You have to be sorted into a house."

I nodded my head.

"Which was Mother in?"

"Our family has been in Gryffindor since Hogwarts was founded in the tenth century," he whispered. "But your Father's family has been in Slytherian, so it's hard to say which you'll be in."

"Gryffindor," I whispered mostly to myself. I wasn't like my Father.

We arrived in the small Muggle village and I was surprised when my Grandfather bought two bus tickets for us. He handed me one and we stepped down the cobblestone street to the bus stop.

"Why are we traveling by bus?"

"You need to know how to get around London and how to get to Diagon Alley from the Muggle world," he said quietly.

The bus pulled up in moments. It wasn't very crowded at all and we took our seats near the front. I sat quietly, looking out the window as the English country side blew past my window.

"What exactly do I need for school?"

My Grandfather reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of parchment. I took it and opened it to look down at the list of supplies I needed.

_Advanced Potion Making _by Libatius Borage

_Advanced Transfiguration Practices, Spells, and Theories _by Robert Passive

_Confronting the Faceless _

_Dark and Defensive Magic_

_Guide to Advanced Transfiguration _

_Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6 _by Miranda Goshawk

_Stepping Through Time: A History of Magic from 1000AD-1900AD_

"How many classes am I taking?"

"You're in the N.E.W.T. level classes for potions, transfiguration, defense against the dark arts, charms and history of magic."

"Five classes? And what's a N.E.W.T.?"

"Nasty Exhausting Wizarding Tests," said my Grandfather. "They're given at the end of your seventh year. Certain jobs require certain amounts of N.E.W.T.s. Your O.W.L.s are what determine what classes at the N.E.W.T. level you take, but since you did not take the O.W.L.s you were placed into these classes judging your prior grades. Dumbledore thought you'd be fine, if not he said he'd be willing to move you around."

"What's an O.W.L?"

"Ordinary Wizarding Levels," said Caldwell dryly.

"And these classes that I'm taking, I'll take the N.E.W.T.s for them at the end of next year, and depending how many of them I pass will determine what job I can get."

"Correct."

The bus pulled to a stop and my Grandfather stood up.

"Come along Cadence," he said to me. I stood up and followed him off the bus. We stepped out onto the dirty streets of London and I looked around. There were Muggles bustling around going about their business. We walked across the street and my Grandfather opened the door an old looking pub, the Leaky Calderon. I stepped inside and my eyes had to adjust to the darkness. There were lamps lit over tables and the counter, but the rest of the place was very dark.

Caldwell walked straight through the place and toward the back of the pub. I followed him closely as I felt a man's eyes wander over me. The place gave me a nasty feeling and I stayed close to my Grandfather. He opened a back door for me and we stepped outside again, into a small alley. I looked around a little confused as my Grandfather pulled out his wand and tapped it against the bricks of a wall. To my amazement the brick wall opened up to a busy bustling alley with witches and wizards wandering around, children running and laughing, and people talking quickly. I smiled as we entered the alley and my Grandfather moved quickly between people heading for a certain shop.

We stepped into the bookshop and I was surprised by how busy it was. Caldwell seemed annoyed by the long line of customers waiting to buy their books. He looked around the bookshop and then at me with my list.

"I'll wait in line, you go find your books."

"But—"

"Just ask for help if you need it," he said. "Go on."

I rolled my eyes and stepped off towards the staircase going to the second floor of the bookshop. I was desperate to escape the crowd of people and hoped I could find someone upstairs who could help me. When I arrived on the landing I didn't see many people on the floor. There were two boys laughing and looking at the shelf.

"Here's one you should invest in Prongs," said one of the boys in a deep soothing voice. I looked up at them and couldn't help but smile. The boy who had spoke I would have mistaken for a man if I hadn't heard what he was about to say. He was tall, at least six feet, and broad shoulder. He had a handsome build, and face with dark features and a mysterious fell. His hair was black and combed nicely, falling in front of his face a little. When he turned and handed his friend a book I saw his eyes and felt my breath catch in my throat. His eyes were dark blue, almost black and sparkled at me for only a few moments before he looked away.

"_Twelve Failsafe Ways to Charm a Witch_," said the boy to his friend. "Perhaps it will help you with Evans."

"Ha," the other laughed. "I don't think anything will help me with her…"

"Jumping off your broom and shrinking your head a little might," suggested the boy.

"Thanks Padfoot," said the boy nicknamed Prongs. "That's mighty helpful."

"Her advice, not mine."

I was trying not to ease drop on their conversation but found it particularly funny. I stood on my toes to reach for a one of the titles that I had spotted on my list but found it to be out of my reach. With a sigh I looked around, ignoring the boys near by, and stepped onto the lowest shelf of books just to get a little higher. Before my hand could reach for the book I was looking for another hand grabbed it for me.

"Here you go," said a voice.

I stepped down and looked at the tall dark hair boy called Padfoot. I couldn't help but smile up at him as I took the book he was holding out for me.

"Thanks, but I could have gotten it," I said.

"I didn't want you to fall and break your beautiful leg," he said in his lovely English accent. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"My beautiful leg? You think my legs are beautiful?"

"Perhaps," he smiled at me and I felt my insides turn to butterflies. He was leaning against the bookshelf, with one arm over my head. By the way he was leaning anyone would have thought he was about to kiss me. This thought made me smile more and I looked away.

"Well thank you," I said and turning away slowly. "For saving my leg."

"What are you smiling about?" he called to me, trying to get me to stay.

I turned and looked at him.

"I'm smiling because you think that that book will actually help your friend get a girl," I said motioning to his friend standing down the landing.

"No," said the boy leaning closer to me. "I don't but he has nasty luck so I thought it would help his ego."

"By the sounds of it he has a big enough ego and that's why he's not getting the girl," I retorted. He smiled at me.

"Ease dropping?"

I shrugged.

"Couldn't help myself."

"What's your name?"

I frowned for a moment and hesitated. My name…I was supposed to be careful and not go about letting people know who I was…would telling this boy my name possibly put me in danger of my Father finding me? I thought of my Mother and how she had lied to me most of her life…how she was a Death Eater…a murderer…I couldn't trust her, how could I possibly trust this man I just met?

"If we meet again I'll tell you," I said turning away again.

He grabbed my arm this time gently and I felt shivers spread through my body. He certainly was a charmer…a Casanova of sorts.

"I think we will meet again."

"Oh? What makes you so confident?"

"You have the same books list that I do for school," he said. "Which is funny because I don't recognize you from school."

"You wouldn't," I said. "I suppose I'll see you at school though…because you're so confident."

I pulled my arm out of his slowly to let my skin linger on his fingers then walked down the stairs carefully, not looking back. A smile was spread across my face though and I'm sure if he looked for me below him in the store he would have seen it. I found a bookkeeper moments later in the crowd and she helped me find the rest of my books. By the time I got back to my Grandfather he was next in line.

After we left the bookshop we headed across the street to a dress shop. As we walked there my Grandfather told me that he expected me to dress more nicely then I was today and that I should pick out nice clothing while I was fitted for my school robes. I understood what he wanted; he wanted his granddaughter to look like she lived in a rich manor with him. He didn't want a bum for a granddaughter. I wondered if my Mother felt so repressed by him…perhaps he chased her into a life of following my Father.

Before we left Diagon Alley for the day, Caldwell took me to a small pet store where he told me I could pick out a pet. Looking around I wasn't sure what I could possibly want; an owl, which would be useful, a bird, cat or ferret? Finally I decided on a small kitten that had been sleeping in a basket near the front window alone. When I saw him I thought of myself. He was alone, the last of the litter with no Mother to care for him. I took him and promised him I would care for him—because we had no one else we could have each other.

"Daisy will be able to take care of your kitten when we get home," said Caldwell as we left Diagon Alley.

"What was the point of getting a kitten if I'm not going to take care of it myself?"

Caldwell looked at me for a moment.

"If you wish to take care of it, then so be it."

"Its name is Demetrius," I said looking into the basket that the kitten was sleeping in. He was a small little grey ball of fur. He made me smile, like the boy in the bookshop had. It felt good to smile again. "What am I going to do for the next two weeks at the manor?"

"Whatever you'd like," said Caldwell. "I have to leave for Whales next Wednesday, so Daisy will take you to the train station to see you off to school."

"Why are you going to Whales?"

"I have business to attend to," he said softly not looking at me.

"Daisy will be able to walk out with Muggles around and not get stared at?"

"House elves have magic of their own, she'll be invisible until you arrive at the station," he said opening the front gate for me. "Come along, it's already dinner time."

I walked up the path and looked at the house more closely in the light. It was a large elegant house—just like on the inside—overly decorated and lavished in unnecessary things. I felt like that was the life my Grandfather had always lived, and I felt sure that it was something that Mother had liked very much. There were too many articles of clothing in her closest for her not to like being wealthy. I did not like it so much. I did not like being a snob and I certainly did not like dressing extremely nicely just to go to the store. Part of me was happy to hear that my Grandfather was going away. I didn't really want to say good bye to him at the station. I wasn't really going to miss him.

I did not sleep well for the next few nights. I don't know why, but I seemed to be thinking too much. There was too much on my mind, and I was never tired enough for sleep to take me. I thought of the boy in the shop, my Mother and Father, and how I'd be starting school soon; a new school where I didn't know anyone at all. I was starting all over again.

Demetrius would cuddle up near my head or in the groove of my shoulder and neck and rest peacefully. He slept enough for the both of us for the next couple of nights. Even though I didn't sleep, I felt safer in bed with him there. Perhaps it was because I was not so alone…or because I talked to him as he looked at me with those dark lazy eyes. He provided comfort to me…something I had not felt for sometime.


	4. A Friend On The Train

There was a soft knock on my bedroom door and I rolled out of the large yellow bed sheets. Stumbling across the wooden floor of my new room, I reached the door and pulled it open.

"Good morning Miss," said Daisy with a cheerful smile. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Oh no," I shook my head as I rubbed my eyes. "It's alright. What's the matter?"

"Nothing Miss," Daisy said coming in the room. "These boxes arrived for you today."

"Boxes?" I questioned blinking as three large boxes floated into the room behind her.

"They're from Master," Daisy guided the boxes onto the bed then looked at me. "Will you be down for breakfast soon?"

"I suppose," I whispered coming back to the bed and looking at the boxes. I opened one of them and looked down at some blouses. I rolled my eyes. It was the clothes that Caldwell said he'd buy me. I don't know why he didn't think my Mother's clothes were sufficient enough.

Actually, I did. I had peeled through my Mother's old clothes the day before and realized that it was only tee shirts, jeans, flowy flowered skirts, see through tops and other pieces of clothing that my Grandfather would not approve of. He wanted me to look sophisticated, and as I pulled out the shirts he had picked out for me I couldn't help but think that I would look somewhat desirable to any guy and business like. He had done well. I actually liked the clothes he had bought me.

Daisy helped me pack to leave for school over the next few days, since my Grandfather was in Whales. I made sure that all of my new school supplies were put on one side of my trunk, and my clothing on the other. I packed a good deal of my new clothes and my Mother's. I felt a cross between the two wardrobes would be nice. Then on top of everything I packed my school robes so I could change on the train easily. In my backpack, I packed some personal items—books, a journal, and some toys for Demetrius.

Of course, I woke up late on September the first. Daisy rushed me around the house to get ready, afraid that I would miss the eleven o'clock train that would take me to Hogwarts. We made it to King's Cross Station by ten thirty, and I was on Platform 9 ¾ in time to make the train.

"Master said for you to write to him," said Daisy in her cute squeaky voice. "Have a good term Miss!"

"Thank you, Daisy," I smiled at her. "Thank you for all of your help these past weeks."

"Of course Miss," said Daisy bowing. "It is my honor and duty."

I nodded to her.

"Head home, I'll see you on holiday."

"Yes Miss," Daisy said and waved. She disappeared from right in front of me with a loud crack. I blinked and then turned to the train, lifting my trunk up onto it and then finding a compartment to myself.

My mind was racing with nerves as I sat on the train, waiting for the journey to Hogwarts to begin. I was really very nervous; everything seemed to be happening to quickly for me to like. I had to live my life alone now, knowing that my Father could very well be hunting for me. I bit my bottom lip and looked out the window of the train. Everything was so new and different in my life now. I really had no idea how I was living, or how I should be. I just knew that I had to keep living—the only thing that mattered was survival; and I couldn't trust anyone.

"Excuse me."

I looked over to the door of my compartment and saw a girl my age standing in it. She had a sympathetic smile on her face. Her hair was brown-red, bushy and curly, down to her shoulders, and she had the most startling green eyes I had ever seen. They were brighter then my own shade of green, and had a certain twinkle to them.

"Are you saving these seats for someone, or can I join you? Everywhere else is full."

"Oh, of course," I whispered. "Come in."

"Thanks," the girl said dragging her belongings in. "My other friends are stuffed into one compartment, and well I'm trying to avoid my friend Cecily."

I nodded my head slowly as she put her trunk over our heads and then sat down across from me. She held out her hand and smiled brightly.

"I'm Lily."

"Cadence," I said shaking her hand.

"I don't recognize you," she said slowly leaning back in her chair. "What house are you in?"

I frowned slightly and looked out the window as the train started to move. Demetrius was hiding in his basket that sat under my arm on the seat next to me. He didn't appear to like traveling, or people, very much.

"I don't know yet," I said. I looked at her with a shrug. "This is my first year to Hogwarts."

Lily nodded her head.

"You have an American accent?" she sounded unsure of her question.

I nodded my head slowly.

"Born and raised in New York City," I said with a smile.

"Why come here then?"

"My Mother died, so I had to come live with my Grandfather."

"Oh," Lily said quickly. "I'm very sorry."

"Thanks," I whispered and looked out the window as I clasped my hands together.

"What year are you in?"

"Sixth."

"Me too," Lily said. "I'm in Gryffindor."

"Hopefully I'll be placed there then. I don't know anyone else at school."

"I'm sure you'll make lots of friends."

I forced a smile. She was a very polite girl. I wasn't sure, however, if I wanted lots of people to know me.

"I'm sure you'll like it here," Lily whispered. "Although, this is a rough time to first come to London with that crazed mad-man on the loose….Voldemort."

"You speak his name?" I said surprised.

Lily looked at me smartly and nodded her head.

"Why should I fear him or his name?" she said proudly, lifting her chin a little. "I wish to fight against him once I get out of school. Everything he does and says is wrong…killing people because they're not from Wizarding families…I just…well it's not right."

"I know," I whispered nodding my head. I felt great shame every time I thought about Lord Voldemort and his war against the Muggle-borns. Every time I read about another death, another disappearance, in the paper I felt my stomach turn and twist with disgust. That man's blood ran in my veins. He was my Father—he was a murderer; a monster more then a man.

"How are you going to fight against him?" I asked looking at her.

"Well," she said. "I've heard of the Order of the Phoenix. They're not a very big group though and I've only _heard _of them. I don't know if they're actually real. But I'd like to join them…I want to give Voldemort and his damned Death Eaters a run for their money."

"Are you a pure blood?"

"No," Lily laughed softly. "I'm a muggle-born. Both of my parents are Muggles. They don't really understand everything that is going on, but I love them."

I nodded my head.

"You?"

"Pure blood," I whispered. "I never knew my Father though."

"How do you know he's a wizard then?"

"My Grandfather told me," I said sadly. "He's a Death Eater."

Lily gasped and covered her mouth.

"I'm very sorry."

"Me too," I whispered. "He doesn't know about me…and well I'd like to keep it that way. But I want to find him…catch him and put him away. I can only imagine the things that he has done to so many people….I just…I don't want that."

"I think we believe in a lot of the same things," said Lily. She smiled at me as I looked at her.

"I do too."

"We should be good friends then."

I laughed a little.

"You'd be my only friend at Hogwarts," I said moving to sit next to her. "So I really hope I'm in Gryffindor."

"Me too," Lily said. There was a silence between us for a few moments as we looked out the window and watched the English countryside pass us by. I looked over at her and asked her about Hogwarts.

"I love it there," she said. "It's my home really. There is so much to do, and learn…it's an amazing experience. I know you'll like it. I don't know how anyone couldn't."

"And the teachers?"

"They're very good…some are harder then others, but overall they're very good and likeable."

"What about the boys?" I smiled.

Lily smiled and shrugged.

"Aren't very many too choose from," she said. "Some are nice; I've dated a few…but none who really sweep you off your feet."

"We meet again," said a familiar voice.

I looked up and a small smile spread across my face. Leaning into the compartment was the boy from the bookshop. I had forgotten about him. He was smiling at me in such away that I may have melted in my chair if Lily was not glaring at him harshly.

"What do you want?" she snapped at him. He blinked and looked at her as if noticing her for the first time.

"Oh, hello Evans," he said. "How was your summer?"

Evans? I thought to myself. I looked at Lily and then up at the boy in the door. Evans was the name of the girl that Padfoot's friend liked. The boy was looking at me with a knowing look, but said nothing.

"It was fine, now please rid us of your arrogance," she said waving her hand at him. I noted the annoyance in her voice and glanced at the boy again.

"I believe you said if we met again you'd tell me your name," he said looking me up and down for a moment.

"Don't let him cheat you into believing he's charming," Lily said smartly. I glanced at her for a moment then back at the boy.

"My name is Cadence."

"Sirius," he said holding out his hand. I took it and shook it firmly. He nodded to me and then to Lily. "Enjoy the journey ladies."

He turned and left the compartment. I looked at Lily.

"What's so bad about him?"

"Couldn't you tell?" she asked with some surprise. "He's a womanizer, Cadence. Don't waste your time with him. And his best friend is an arrogant pig. They're both disgusting. Go around cursing people in the hallways just because they can. James Potter is a show off, and Sirius Black is a womanizing pig. They're perfect together."

"You really don't like them."

"No," Lily said flatly. "But I suppose if you've known them as long I have you wouldn't like them very much either."

I nodded my head slowly.

"So, what house are James and Sirius in?"

"Gryffindor, unfortunately."

"Oh," I said looking at the door and then back at Lily. "And there aren't any good boys to choose from here?"

"Some of the Ravenclaw boys are worth looking at," Lily shrugged.

The compartment door opened again and a skinny pale boy stepped in, looking directly at Lily. He had long greasy black hair, and dark eyes. I frowned at him, not liking the shiver that he sent through my body.

"Lily," he said crisply. "May I speak to you in private?"

Lily looked at the boy with raised eyebrows. She crossed her arms over her chest and stood up very slowly.

"I suppose, if you must Severus," she said. "I'll be back Cadence."

"Alright," I said as she walked out with the boy. Only a few moments after the compartment door shut did it open again, and to my great surprise Sirius walked in, closing the door quickly behind him.

"Sirius," I said surprised. He smiled at me and sat down.

"Thought I'd stop by to talk to you since the nasty brat has left."

"She's not a brat," I said. "I like her a lot actually. She's been very kind to me."

"That's because you're new and a girl—"

"Maybe it has something to do with me not being arrogant," I whispered looking at him and then opening my backpack to pull out a book. I opened it and began to read.

"You're going to read when I snuck back in here just to talk to you?"

"You didn't have to sneak in," I said.

"You look very nice."

"Why are you complimenting the way I look?"

"Because I think you look nice. Is it wrong for me to compliment you?"

"No," I said putting my book down. "I just…well maybe I don't want to be complimented by you."

"And why not?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest. "You seemed to like me talking about your legs at the bookshop."

"Been thinking about my legs a lot?"

"Yes," he said seriously. I rolled my eyes at him and he sighed and stood up. "I see that Lily has gotten to you already."

"Gotten to me?"

"Yes," he said opening the compartment door. "She's made you believe that I'm an arrogant womanizing pig who you don't want to get involved with."

"I don't think you're an arrogant womanizing pig."

"Well you don't like me very much."

"I don't know you well enough to know if I like you, or to think that you're an arrogant womanizing pig," I said staring at his gorgeous eyes. Part of me didn't care if he was an arrogant womanizing pig, I still wanted to be pressed against him and kissing him. I smiled a little and he caught it.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing," I said looking at him seriously.

"Alright," he said with his own charming smile. "I'll let that one go…but I'm going to let you get to know me more."

"Alright Sirius," I said casually.

"I will, and you're going to like me…I know it."

"See that would be the arrogant part of you that Lily would be referring too. I do see that now…"

His face fell a little and then he shrugged.

"Think what you will of me."

"Oh, I promise I will, Sirius."

"Good bye Cadence."

"Good bye," I said looking away from him and to my book. He closed the compartment door and disappeared. I sat reading for about fifteen more minutes before Lily returned. She looked perturbed and I asked her what the boy, named Severus, had wanted.

"Oh nothing really," she said making sure the door was closed tightly. "He's just…well we used to be very good friends but he's in Slytherian and well…" She grew silent for a moment. I looked at her with some concern. The look on her face was shameful and unhappy.

"What?" I whispered.

"I think he's for Voldemort," she whispered very softly in a frightened voice. "Last June, after our O.W.L. exams he called me a mudblood."

I raised my eyebrows. I had never heard the word before but I could by Lily's unpleasant look that it wasn't a very kind word. She straightened up in her seat and tucked her busy hair behind her ear.

"I'm not really sure if he meant it or not," Lily said with a thoughtful look on her face. "James and Sirius were picking on him, and I tried to stop them. He said he didn't need my help…he didn't need the help of a mudblood. He's been apologizing ever since…but I don't know…"

"He sounds like a creep to me."

"He's just also been different," Lily said with a forced smile. "I've known him since I was ten, just before I found out a witch. We grew up in the same neighborhood. He didn't have the best childhood…and I don't know…maybe I took pity on him. He was the first one to show me what it was like to be a witch…." Her voice trailed off and I looked at her very closely. She looked very troubled by this boy, Severus, almost torn. I could see that she cared for him greatly, he was a good friend…a good friend that was beginning to make all the wrong choices.

"I think," I said very slowly as I rubbed my thighs. "That you are a very compassionate person Lily. I think that Severus has taken advantage of that a little. If you feel that you can't trust him, or that he's in with Voldemort then follow those feelings. You can only listen to your heart."

Lily looked at me and gave me a smile.

"You're very kind," she whispered.

I shrugged and smiled a little.

"What are friends for?"

We both laughed as the lamps on the train lit. Lily stood up and opened her trunk.

"We should get into our robes," she said. "We'll be there soon."

I nodded and began to open my trunk.

"When will you be sorted?"

I paused for a moment.

"I'm not really sure," I whispered.

"Not with the first years I hope," Lily laughed.

"Me too," I said.


	5. Beginning of A Lie

When the train finally pulled into the station the pair of us gathered our things and began to make our way out of the compartment. We were on the platform when someone called out Lily's name. She turned slowly in the crowd of students all dressed in Hogwarts robes and looked at a handsome looking boy coming to us.

"Hello Remus," she said softly as the boy approached. He smiled at her and bowed his head.

"Hi Lily," he said. I noticed the slightly annoyed look in Lily's eyes and wondered if she liked any of the boys here at Hogwarts, or did they all annoy her? "Sirius told me that you were riding with the new girl—"

"I'm right here you know," I said stepping forward.

"Remus, this is Cadence," said Lily. "Cadence, this is Remus Lupin, he's the boy Prefect of Gryffindor House."

"Oh," I said nodding my head. I held out my hand and he shook it. "It's nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine," he said bowing his head to me. "Dumbledore wishes for me to escort you to his office right away so you can be sorted."

"Great," said Lily. "Let's get up to the castle Cadence, the sooner you're sorted the sooner you can come back down to dinner."

"Alright," I said as Remus, dragging his trunk and bags, led us down the platform quickly.

When we passed out of the station I was shocked to see a long line of carriages with ugly, boney horses waiting for the students. Students were getting in as if there was nothing abnormal about the carriages or the animals pulling them. I stared at the creature at the front of our carriage for a few moments and Lily called to me.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," I said. She shrugged and got into the carriage.

"Go on," said Remus putting my stuff on the top of the carriage. I thanked him and mounted the step of the carriage.

"Hey Moony wait up!" called a familiar loud voice. I turned and looked over my shoulder and frowned slightly. It was the boy nicknamed Prongs. He was jogging with Sirius across the dirt path, weaving in and out of the other students to get to the carriage. That's why Lily looked at Remus annoyed…he was friends with James and Sirius.

There was a chubby nervous looking boy following Sirius and James. When the three of them reached us I looked at him with a deep frown. I didn't like the look of his pointed nose and face. He had watery blue eyes, and mosey brown hair. James and Sirius didn't seem to mind him following them.

"Cadence," said Sirius with some surprise to see me standing in the door of the carriage. "I see you've met our good friend Remus."

"Yes," I said slowly. "I have."

I gave Sirius a smile and entered the carriage. Lily looked extremely annoyed as I sat down next to her.

"It's going to be a tight squeeze," I whispered. She rolled her eyes.

"I can't believe they're coming with us," she said crossing her arms over her chest and looking out the window.

"Oh try to relax," I said to her. She shook her head and didn't say anything, just glared out the window.

Remus, James and the boy whose name I didn't know got in the carriage. Sirius was last in, closing the door behind him and taking the only seat that was left next to me.

"Cadence this is Peter," Sirius said pointing to the boy I didn't know.

"Hello," I said softly.

"Nice to meet you."

I nodded and then looked out the window in the same direction as Lily.

"So…" It was James Potter talking. I looked at him and studied his brown eyes, behind glasses, as he stared at Lily. It was very obvious that he liked her. "Evans, how was your summer?"

Lily turned her head to him very slowly and blinked.

"Don't assume just because you barged your way into the same carriage as me that I'm going to talk to you Potter," she said harshly. I had to give Lily credit; she was a very clever girl, obviously able to take care of herself.

"I didn't barge my way into this carriage," James said in defense. "And what makes you think I barged my way in here just to be stuck with you and your sour attitude?"

"If I have such a sour attitude why would you get in the carriage?"

James opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Didn't realize you were in the carriage," Sirius said ending the bickering. "We saw Remus and wanted to ride with him. He is our friend Evans."

Lily said nothing and turned to look on the window.

"And here I was thinking that you wanted to ride with me," I said softly with a smile to Sirius. He smiled at me and I looked out the window.

The carriage was rolling up a pebble towards a large castle in the distance. The grounds around the castle were rich and green. I could tell they were fresh, lush, and rugged even in the darkness. The smells of wet grass and pine reached my nose and I couldn't help but smile.

"Where are you from?" asked the boy named Peter. I blinked and looked at him.

"I was born and raised in New York City."

"Cool," said Sirius.

"Why come here?" Peter asked.

"What are you, the Inquisition?" Sirius said jabbing Peter in the shoulder. Peter jumped and squeaked. He rubbed the spot where Sirius had poked him and frowned.

"Sorry, I was just asking…"

"My Mother died, so I came to live with my Grandfather," I said.

"I'm very sorry," said Sirius and Remus.

"That must be hard on you," James said sincerely. I caught Lily rolling her eyes.

I shrugged.

"I'm dealing," I whispered.

"What about your Dad?" Peter asked.

"What about him?" I said bitterly glaring at the boys across from me.

Peter frowned and looked away.

"I didn't mean to offend you," he said.

I said nothing and looked out the window. Lily looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. She looked back at the window and began to gather her bag.

"We're here."

The carriage pulled to a stop after the words left her lips and I began to grab my bag and Demetrius's basket. The boys got out of the carriage and then I made to get out. James, Remus and Peter were getting the things off the top of the carriage. Sirius grabbed my hand and helped me out. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Thanks," I said cocking my head to the side and looking him up and down.

"What?" he said.

"Nothing," I said standing up straight and adjusting the bag over my shoulder.

"Oh really?" he said and I looked back up at him. "I don't believe you."

"Well that's not my problem," I said with a smile and turning away. Lily was making her way up the large front steps of the castle as quickly as possible. I dashed up them to catch up to her.

"I'm sorry," I said to her.

"For what?"

"I'm sorry that you had to ride with them. You'd probably deal with your friend Cecily then those boys," I said with a shrug.

Lily frowned at me.

"I don't know…Cecily is a brat sometimes," she said with a very small smile.

"Can I sit with you at dinner once I've been sorted?"

"Only if you're sorted into Gryffindor," Lily said. "I hope you are."

"Me too."

"Cadence," said Remus's soft voice from behind us. I turned and looked at him. "You can leave your stuff here. We'd better get up to the Headmaster's office."

I nodded.

"Alright," I said putting down my stuff. I peaked into Demetrius's basket and saw that he was still sleeping. I smiled and closed the lid softly then said good bye to Lily. She wished me luck then I took off after Remus who was starting to climb up the large marble staircase that was across from the oak doors of the entrance hall. As I walked across the hall all the other students flowed into the Great Hall. I caught a glance of four large tables in the room and then a head table at the front of the room. I smiled slightly and rushed after Remus.

"Where is the Headmaster's office?" I asked.

"Seventh floor," said Remus.

I frowned slightly as I followed him through the winding corridors and staircases. The castle was absolutely fantasizing…nothing like the Academy I had gone to in New York.

"Remus, what house are you in?" I asked as he walked down a corridor with a number of doors down it.

"Gryffindor," said Remus. "All of us are—us being Sirius, James, Peter and myself."

I nodded my head slowly.

"I know James and Sirius come off as jerks sometimes…well a lot of the times…but they're really good guys," he said. I blinked at him.

"What makes you think I don't think they're good guys?"

He looked at me.

"You're friends with Lily. I'm surprised you can even look Sirius and James in the eye with out glaring at them."

"I don't let other people influence my feelings or thoughts that much," I said somewhat defensively.

Remus nodded his head and smiled at me.

"You're clever," he said stopping at the end of the hall in front of a large statue of an Eagle. "Well here we are."

"Huh?" I looked at him confused. For a split second I thought this was a really bad joke that Lily and Remus were playing on me. My heart beat quick as I looked up at the Eagle.

"Lemondrops," said Remus to the Eagle. The statue's head turned slowly and looked at Remus and me. I nearly jumped from shock.

"Cadence Coleman?"

I jumped again and grabbed Remus's arm, leaning close to him.

"Remus," I muttered with some fear. He looked at me with a small smile. "It knows my name…"

"That means you're supposed to be here," he said.

"The Headmaster is expecting you," the Eagle said. There was the sound of grinding stone and the statue began to turn and rise, a spiral staircase lifting it up.

"This is where I leave you," said Remus. "Good luck, and I'll be seeing you."

I nodded nervously as he turned and began to walk down the hall. I hesitated before I stepped up onto the staircase and waited for it to carry me up towards a wooden door. The steps stopped when I reached the door and I knocked nervously.

"Enter," said a voice from beyond the door.

I turned the nod and entered the circular shaped office slowly.

Albus Dumbledore was sitting behind a large desk, leaning over some paper work. His whole office seemed cluttered and busy; there were magical objects everywhere, on all the shelves, tables and his desk; hundreds of pictures of men and women hung on the walls; there was a large phoenix on a bird stand in the corner near a staircase going upstairs; and I found it difficult to believe how many papers and books decorated the shelves and floor.

"Hello Miss Coleman," he said standing up and greeting me. I smiled at him.

"Hello Professor."

"I trust that your journey here was a good one?"

"Oh yes Sir."

"Sit down, sit down, Cadence," he said motioning to the puffy chair in front of his desk. I sat down slowly, and he sat down after me. "Have you been alright here in England?"

"Yes," I said slowly not really sure where this conversation was going. "I'm fine."

Dumbledore nodded his head.

"You'll be safe here at Hogwarts."

I was about to ask from what, but I stopped myself. I knew what I was safe from here at Hogwarts…Lord Voldemort, my Father.

"How am I to be sorted, Sir?"

"Simple," said Dumbledore picking up a frumpy old wizard hat that had been sitting on his desk. The desk was such a clutter I didn't even realize the patchy hat sitting there. "You just place this hat on your head and it will place you in the proper house."

"Just like that?"

"The Sorting Hat sees farther into your mind and heritage then anyone or anything else," said Dumbledore. "It sees your desires and your heart's true colors. It will place you properly."

"Sir," I asked as he handed me that hat. "Has anyone ever helped make up the hat's mind?"

"What do you mean, Cadence?"

"Well Sir…my Father's family has always been in Slytherin," I said slowly. "I don't want to be in that House like them…I'm not like them."

"Being in Slytherin doesn't mean you're like them, Cadence," Dumbledore said folding his hands on his desk. "It doesn't brand you a Death Eater either. It's our choices that make us more then anything else…but I suppose if you truly don't want to be in Slytherin the Sorting Hat will know that."

I nodded my head.

"Go on and put it on," he said sitting back slightly. "We must hurry it down to sort the first years."

I nodded and placed the hat on top of my head slowly. It was a little too big for my head and fell over my eyes and ears. Almost instantly I heard a little voice in my head, muttering and thinking out loud.

"You have deep roots in both Slytherin and Gryffindor," it said softly in my ear. "And there is a darkness in you that few see…not even you recognize it. You choose to believe that Dark Magic is a part of you, just like the pure blood that flows in your veins."

_Not Slytherin, _I thought. _Anything but Slytherin._

"Not Slytherin?" the voice questioned. It laughed lightly and seemed to agree with me. "See…you do not recognize the darkness and power that lie deep within your family's history. Even if I do not place you in Slytherin it will always be a part of you."

_I'm not like my Father._

"I can sense that," the Sorting Hat said. "And you're right…you're not _that_ dark. You'll be much better in a braver house; I sense no fear of loss within you. You are not afraid to sacrifice what you have for others…I would think you belong in GRYFFINDOR!"

The hat shouted the last word, announcing that I was placed into Gryffindor House. I beamed as I raised the hat off of my head. Dumbledore was smiling broadly too. He clapped his hands to congratulate me.

"Very good Cadence," he said standing up. "Now we'd best be down to the Feast and sorting of the first years. Come along, come along."

I stood up slowly and handed the hat to Dumbledore. He nodded his head in thanks and we walked out of his office.

"Professor," I said as we walked down the hall.

"Yes?"

"Do you think my Father will come after me if he finds out about me, even if I'm here at Hogwarts?"

"I don't know, Cadence," said Dumbledore slowly. "I know that if he finds out about your existence he will eventually come after you, whether it be now or later. Perhaps he will wait until you are fully trained and out of school…or he would hope to turn you when you're young."

"If he finds out about me…"

"Yes, if…"

"He won't turn me, Professor," I whispered as we descended the Great Staircase. "I hate him."

Dumbledore looked at me and stopped in the Entrance Hall to speak.

"Hate is something that your Father understands very well, Cadence. I don't think you should hate him, nor fear him. Your Father feeds off of people's hate and fear. Hate is something that only the truly wicked are capable of. I do not think you hate your Father, as angry and ashamed to be his daughter as you could be…I wouldn't say you hate him."

I stared at Dumbledore for a few moments and frowned, looking away. He was right.

"You are a clever witch Cadence," said Dumbledore tapping my shoulder. "I have faith in you."

"Thank you Sir."

He nodded his head and turned and walked into the Great Hall where the four tables were filled with people. I stood and looked into the Great Hall with a frown on my face. Would I really be able to fit in here? If my secret were to ever come out would I be left alone and discriminated against? I could not wash the depressing thoughts from my head as I looked into the hall of laughing and talking students.

My eyes fell on the Gryffindor table where I could see Sirius and James laughing. I leaned against the door frame of the hall as Sirius's eyes met mine. I blinked and looked down at the ground as he looked at me with concern. My heart picked up speed. How was I suppose to live and be close to these people, like Lily or Sirius, when everyday I was going to lie to them about who I was?

It was something that haunted me for the first few weeks of school…along with the blinding flashes that came in my nightmares.


	6. Playing With Fire

School was not something that I struggled with. Rather I found it the easiest part of my life. I used it as an escape from the people around me who I didn't wish to get close to. The Sorting Hat had said my first night at Hogwarts that I didn't fear losing anything, which was true I suppose. However, I did fear someone finding out about my Father and who I really was. I thought that if I avoided getting close to anyone that it would be easier to hide my secret, but its human nature to be close to people. And slowly with time I realized that I could not be a loner…I couldn't be completely on my own. I needed someone to keep me company and someone to talk to.

I also feared that I couldn't trust anyone. My Mother had been my best friend my whole life and she turned out to be a lying Death Eater. My whole life had been a lie—sixteen years I thought my Mother was someone else and I trusted her. How could I ever trust any of my peers, now? How did I know that they wouldn't turn around and betray me in a day, a week, a month or a year?

Trust was something that I struggled with for the first couple months of school. Lily seemed to notice that I wasn't as bold as I had been on the train, but she let me be and I appreciated it. She seemed to understand that I needed my space, but I didn't mind if she came around every once in awhile.

She confronted me one night about it as we working on our potions homework by the fire. She asked me in concern. She was worried about me and how I was closing myself off.

There were other students around us still, mostly fifth and seventh years. I could see Sirius and his friends on the other side of the common room and I was sure that I felt his eyes on me a few times.

"Hey, Cadence?" Lily said softly from the chair next to me. I tore my eyes away from my homework and looked at her. She had a calm, concerned smile on her face. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yea," I whispered. "I'm fine."

"You've been quiet the last couple of weeks," she said.

I shrugged and looked down at my homework.

"Just trying to deal, you know?"

Lily nodded.

"I thought so," she said. "You can talk to me Cadence. I'm your friend and I'm here when you want to talk, if you ever do."

I smiled despite the part of me that was screaming not to trust her with my secret. The truth was something inside of me had been bursting to tell _someone_. I didn't like keeping this secret to myself…I didn't like not being able to confide in someone my fear of people finding out who I was and hating me for it.

Part of me felt that Lily new I was keeping something more then my Mother's death locked up inside of me…and knowing that made me feel a little insecure…I wasn't hiding my secret very well if she knew something else was bottled up inside.

"I have nightmares," I whispered. She looked at me somewhat surprised. I don't think she was expecting me to tell her anything then with other people so close. "I have nightmares where I'm running down a tunnel with railroad tracks under my feet and suddenly a bright light appears in front of me from the darkness. It's a blinding light…sometimes I think it's the end of the tunnel, but I never get there. Sometimes I think it's a train heading straight for me, but I never hear the train and I never get hit by it."

Lily looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Do you have this dream often?"

"Almost every night," I whispered back as I looked down at my books.

I looked up just as James and Sirius stood up, stretching and yawning. I noticed that Remus wasn't with them and Peter in the corner of the common room. I glanced at Lily.

"Do you know where Remus is?"

Lily glanced across the room at James and Sirius who were waving their wands and making a fourth year's robes flash different colors. She rolled her eyes and looked back at me.

"He went to the Hospital Wing just before dinner I think. He's not feeling well."

"Again?" I said with some surprise. "That's the second time in two months."

Lily looked at me and nodded.

"He gets sick all the time. Has a weak immune system."

"Oh," I said slowly. "I see."

I watched as Remus's three friends walked by me and Lily heading for the boys' dormitory.

"Calling it early?" I said to Sirius. He looked at me and smirked.

"Yea, you know…got to get up early tomorrow."

Lily rolled her eyes and scolded at me for talking to Sirius.

"Right," I said with a shake of my head. Sirius waved and made his way upstairs after James and Peter. Lily gave me a stern look.

"Why do you talk to him?"

"Because he hasn't been a jerk to me," I whispered. "And the stuff that I've seen him do to others isn't that serious."

"It's not that he does seriously bad stuff or not Cadence," said Lily with stern eyes as she began to pack up her books. "It's that he thinks he has the right to do those things to other people because he's Sirius Black—prince of the freaking school."

"I don't think he thinks that he's the prince of the school."

"The way he acts I think says other wise," Lily said. "And the way girls fawn over him like he's some god doesn't help either. It only feeds his ego."

I couldn't help but smile.

"He's a charmer."

"A womanizer."

"Depends how you see it."

"Obviously," said Lily standing up. "Well I'm off to bed…good night Cadence. Try to think of happy things before you go to bed…"

"Like Sirius dipped in chocolate," I joked.

Lily gave me a scandalized look.

"I suppose if you must," she said. I saw her crack a smile and grinned back. "But be careful with him, Cadence. He's a flame and you very well could be a moth."

"Oh no," I said with a smirk. "I think it's the other way around…he's the moth and I'm the flame."

"Sirius isn't that kind of guy…he doesn't like to be burned, he likes to cause the heat and the wound."

I laughed.

"I'll take it into consideration, Lily," I said biting the tip of my quill. "Good night."

"Night, Cadence. Sweet dreams."

"I hope," I said. She smiled and nodded her head then disappeared up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. It wasn't long until I was the only one left in the common room. This was something that happened often. I didn't like sleeping because I didn't like dreaming about the tunnel and the blinding light. And I liked doing my school work. It helped distract me.

"Cadence," said a startled voice.

I looked up and squinted in the darkness to the boys' staircase. The fire had turned to embers and I could only see the outline of someone familiar on the stairs.

"What are you doing awake?"

Sirius stepped into the dim light form the grate and looked at me with dark features.

"Could ask you the same question," I said looking at the fire. I wanted it to be brighter. I didn't like being in so much dark with anyone, even Sirius who looked more chiseled and mysterious with the shadows.

I jumped with surprise when fire sprang up to life in the grate. I blinked and sank back into my chair slowly…had I done that? Did I make fire in the grate just by thinking about wanting more fire in the grate?

"How'd you do that?" Sirius whispered looking form the grate to me in the chair.

I looked at him with a frown. So I had done it.

"I'm not really sure," I whispered. Sirius was looking at me with one eyebrow higher then the other.

"Mind if I sit down?"

"Not at all."

"Oh really?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked as he took a seat in the chair Lily had occupied earlier that evening.

"I'm just surprised Lily hasn't made you hate me completely yet. You spend all your time with her or by yourself…I hardly get to see or talk to you."

"You're talking to me now Sirius," I whispered closing my notebooks and textbooks. He smiled and the look in his eyes suggested that he wanted to talk to me more.

"So, the fire…?"

I wasn't sure if he was asking a question or going to say something else.

"What about it, Sirius?"

"How'd you make it start?"

I blinked.

"I thought about wanting fire in the grate," I said. "I mean…I didn't think about making it appear in there…I just wanted some more light."

"Don't trust me in the dark?" Sirius grinned, his eyes twinkling. "I'm told I'm pretty good when all the lights go out."

I ignored his sexual comment.

"I don't trust anyone," I whispered.

"Why?" Sirius said very seriously. He looked at me with curious eyes and I couldn't help but stare at their dark, tempting twinkle. I blinked and looked away from him and into the fire.

"I just grew up being lied to…how do you trust when the only person you ever completely trusted ended up lying to you your whole life?"

"Your Mother?" he questioned quietly.

I nodded and then looked at him.

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"It's alright," he said leaning back in his chair. "I hate my parents. My whole family really…They're all a bunch of crazed pure-blood lovers…think that this Voldemort guy has the right idea."

"What?" I said in shock looking at him.

"Yea," Sirius said with a nod and frown. "They're not Death Eaters, just pure bloods who think they're practically royal because of they're damned blood. I wish it didn't run in my veins."

I looked at him very seriously.

"I moved out," he said. "Well…ran away last year, stayed with the Potters. Now I have my own place in London."

"They just let you leave?"

"They wanted me to go as much as I wanted to leave. I was always a great disappointment to dear old Mum and Dad." Sirius looked down at his hands and then stared bitterly into the fire. "They have my younger brother to be proud of. They don't need me."

"Your brother?"

"He's a fourth year," Sirius said. "In Slytherin."

I nodded my head slowly.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"No," I said. "My parents weren't even married. My Mom left my Dad without telling him she was pregnant."

"Bad guy?"

"Yea, you could say that," I said softly glancing at him. He had an uncomfortable look on his face. "What?"

"Nothing," he said. "I just…I don't know, if I had a kid out there somewhere I'd like to know…you know…I'm not saying that your Mum should have told your Dad…I don't know the situation…I just…personally, I'd like to know if I had a kid."

I nodded my head.

"I can understand that," I whispered. "My Grandfather said that my Mom left my Father to protect me."

"From him?"

I nodded.

"He's a really bad man."

"Death Eater?"

I looked at Sirius and frowned, then nodded my head slowly.

"Do you know anything about him?"

"He's killed lots of people," I said bitterly. "What else do I have to know?"

Sirius shrugged.

"I suppose that's fair."

There was a soft silence between us. The only noise in the whole common room was the sound of the fire popping and eating the wood in the grate. I stared at the dancing flames like they were the most amusing thing in the room. Sirius however was staring at me. I could feel his eyes on me and it made me a little uneasy.

"Can you put the fire out?" he asked.

"Huh?" I blinked and looked at him.

"Can you put the fire out?" he repeated.

"Uh, no…I don't know…"

"Why don't you try?"

"Why?"

"I want to see if you can do it," he smiled.

I looked at him oddly.

"Cadence," he said softly. "You must be pretty powerful to make the fire appear, I'm just wondering if it was a one time thing or if you can do something like it again."

I blinked. Why not? It wouldn't hurt to try and put out the fire, would it?

I stared at the fire in the grate and concentrated on its dancing orange flames. I focused my energy on the desire I had to make it go out. I wanted to make the flames go away…I wanted it to be dark in the common room…no light.

I gasped when the flames went out and darkness spread around the room. Sirius laughed and clapped his hands together.

"Amazing," he said. "You just think of whatever you want and it happens?"

"Well I put some serious thought and concentration into that," I said with a small laugh. "I don't think _anything_ I want to happen would just happen, like that, if I thought of it. There must be some kind of trick to it…"

I could hear Sirius moving around and I was surprised when flames appeared in the fire place again. He was kneeling in front of it, with his wand. He had started the fire back up and was slowly standing. For a few moments he stood in front of the fire looking at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"What are you thinking about now?" he asked.

I looked at him with a studying look as he leaned against the fireplace mantel and pushed his hair out of the way of his eyes. The way he stood tensed his muscles in a sexy manner. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top and I could see his delicious looking chest. I wondered what he'd look like naked…damn good probably…

I closed my eyes tight. What was I thinking? I shouldn't be thinking thoughts like that…especially about Sirius, who was supposedly a womanizing bastard. He was charming…certainly new how to sweet talk a girl.

"Nothing really," I finally muttered after catching my breath.

"Oh?" he smirked and tucked his hands in his pockets as he stood up straight. He walked towards me slowly, locking eyes with me. "I don't believe you."

I smiled.

"Why not?"

"You took too long to answer…you hesitated."

"No I didn't," I argued as he came even closer to my chair. He leaned forward over me and I couldn't help but smile a little more.

"Did you think about me doing this?" he whispered.

"No," I said. I thought about putting the fire out and it disappeared, bathing us in darkness. He laughed a little.

"You should probably stop playing with the fire," he said so close to me.

"Lily seems to think that you're fire," I said. "Should I stop playing with you too?"

I liked being in the dark with Sirius suddenly. He was close enough for me to feel his breath on my skin, and the heat of his body close to mine. I wanted to know that feeling more…and for a reason that I could not explain I felt safe close to him.

"Well, really you aren't playing with me," he joked.

I reached out with my hand and found his arm. I followed it up to his shoulder and neck, where I traced along his warm skin softly. When my fingers found his lips I felt him kiss them gently. Slowly I leaned forward and kissed him delicately. He kissed me in return and touched my waist and thigh. I wrapped my arms around him in the dark as we continued to kiss and felt my heart beat faster.

Sirius was a very good kisser…and as we continued to kiss in the darkness part of me admitted that Lily was right. I was a moth to his flame.


	7. Great Debate

I didn't tell anyone, especially not Lily, about how Sirius and I had kissed that night. And from what I could tell he hadn't said anything to his friends about it either. I wasn't really sure how to act about it. I had never really had a boyfriend before. Sure I had kissed guys back home in New York but it had never gone anywhere. I had never wanted it to go anywhere. For some reason my feelings for Sirius were different from any other guy I'd kissed. I wanted it to go farther and that frightened me a little. Letting love in just seemed like asking for more pain to come. I wasn't sure if I could handle losing someone I cared about greatly again. And I wasn't sure if I could take being lied too.

I liked to think that Sirius didn't have the intention of hurting me…although after we kissed that night and had gone to our separate beds the situation never came up again. We said our polite hellos the next morning, both seeming to be unsure of what to do next. I was slightly surprised with Sirius. He seemed as unsure as I was and that struck me as odd because every girl (and even the guys) in the school had made Sirius out to be some kind of womanizing bombshell. Part of me thought that maybe Sirius was just confused and unsure because he hadn't felt the way he feels about me with any other girls…like how I hadn't felt the same about any other guys…but I didn't want to get my hopes up.

The whole thing bothered me so much that I finally turned to Lily for her opinion, which might have been a mistake. I only held my secret for three days until the weekend trip to Hogsmeade.

"Lily," I said to her very seriously as we walked along the chilly November road towards the Three Broomsticks pub. "I have a very serious question for you."

"Oh?" she said somewhat perplexed. "What is it?"

She opened the door for me and I thanked her as we walked in. We found a table and ordered some Butterbeers. After our drinks had arrived and we had removed our coats and scarves I looked at her with a slight frown on my face.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Well, I'm having some boy troubles," I said nervously.

Lily raised her eyebrows at me.

"With what boy?" she asked slowly.

"Well you see, after you went to bed the other night when you told me that Sirius was fire, he came back down to the common room and we stayed up talking."

"Okay?" Lily said then sipped her Butterbeer.

"We kissed," I said. "A lot..."

Lily lowered her bottle from her mouth very slowly and looked at me like I was slightly nuts. She blinked and looked at the bottle, to avoid my eye, then looked back at me with large green eyes.

"_You kissed!?_"

I nodded with a guilty half smile.

"Well," she said taking a swig of her drink. "Was it good?"

I was surprised by her question and smiled more.

"Yes," I said in a half daze as I remembered Sirius's lips pressed against mine and his hands on my waist and thigh. "It was very good."

Lily nodded her head and finished her drink.

"Well I told you he's dangerous."

"It's not really that bugging me," I said. "I've noticed that he seems unsure of what to do next…It's not like he's avoiding me completely or being a jerk. He seems really unsure of what we should do next and so am I. I'm thinking that maybe he feels something for me that he hasn't felt before and that's why he's unsure. If I were any other girl that he had just kissed it'd be easy for him to shrug it off…he's doesn't know how to respond to these feelings."

"I don't know if that's it, Cadence," said Lily with a sad look in her eyes. "Sirius isn't really one to stick with one girl for very long. I think the longest relationship I've seen him in is three months."

"Well that's longer then me," I said. "I've never even had a boyfriend."

"That's not the point," Lily shook her head. "I think you're hoping that he thinks you're different and that he really likes you."

"But he must like me…why else would he kiss me?"

"Does he like you, or your body?"

"My body is still a part of me," I said to defend my hopes.

"I meant—"

"I know," I sighed and rubbed my head. "Lily, what's the matter with me?"

She laughed lightly.

"Nothing's the matter with you Cadence," she said smartly and rubbed my shoulders in a comforting manner. "You just like a guy and you're not sure if he likes you back…there isn't anything wrong with that."

I shrugged.

"I don't like feeling this way."

"I don't think most girls do," Lily smiled.

"I feel like I've changed in the last three months," I whispered. "When I came to England, and to Hogwarts I was different. I was strong and sure of myself. I didn't think I needed anyone…not even my Mother. Now…well now I feel strange and unsure of myself and my emotions. I feel so out of control."

"You're learning about yourself Cadence…we all are. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it."

I shrugged again.

"With these feelings about Sirius, school, the weirdo powers that happened the other day, and trying to keep myself sane I'm not sure what's happening to me. I didn't have these problems or worries when I came here. I wasn't worried about people getting close to me, or knowing everything about me. I wasn't concerned about boys and I definitely wasn't thinking about controlling things with my mind."

"What do you mean 'controlling things with your mind'?" Lily asked with raised eyebrows.

I glanced up at her and frowned. I had forgotten I hadn't told her about that.

"I can…well I can control things with my mind I suppose…sometimes…when I really think about it. I can make the fire in the common room light when it's too dark for my liking or completely go out. I discovered this the night Sirius and I kissed."

Lily nodded her head slowly.

"Have you talked to Dumbledore about it?"

"No," I said. "Do you think I should?"

"He might be able to shed some light on the situation," Lily said wisely. I nodded in agreement. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to go talk to Dumbledore about the mysterious mind powers I was developing.

Lily looked at her watch.

"It's already five o'clock," she said. "We should get back up to the castle for dinner."

"Already?" I questioned finishing my drink.

Lily shrugged.

"Do you want to go to any other shops?"

"No," I whispered. "Let's go."

It was starting to get dark outside when we left the Three Broomsticks. Lily and I walked close to each other with our hands deep in our pockets to keep them warm.

"So…do you want to go out with Sirius?" Lily asked as we walked. I could hear the small tone of disgust on her voice and part of me thought that I should lie to her about my feelings. But the truth was I didn't really know how I felt about dating Sirius.

"I don't know," I finally whispered.

"I don't think you should," Lily said. "But if you want to that is your choice and I'm not going to stop talking to you over it…I just won't acknowledge him."

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself. I don't even know if Sirius wants to date me, let alone if I want to date him."

"Why you guys can't just kiss and not speak to each other again."

"I know…"

We had reached the ground of Hogwarts and were walking up the gravel path towards the brightly light castle. Other students were milling about, also making their way back from Hogsmeade for dinner. I hadn't seen Sirius all day and part of me wondered where he and his friends had gotten too. When I voiced my thoughts Lily gave me a smart answer.

"They're probably in detention," she said. "If you and Sirius date and he continues picking on people are you going to stand for that?"

I glanced at her.

"I don't know Lily."

She shrugged as a girl's scream erupted across the grounds. Everyone in the area turned to see a second year girl running from a group of boys near the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"What Jessica you don't like snakes!?" One of the fourth year boys yelled at the girl. Another one caught her arm and held her back. "It's just a little snake, it won't hurt you!"

Lily and I tore across the grounds quickly as others stopped to look at the scene.

"Hey!" I yelled at the boys as I ran with my cloak sailing behind me. "Let her alone!"

"What'd you say to me?" one of the boys stood up straight and glared at me. He was holding a snake in his hand, fat long and green. It appeared that he was the ring leader of the group of boys who were all Slytherins.

"I said let her alone," I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"You're not a prefect," the boy snipped. "You can't take points away from me."

"I'll do worse then take points away from you," I threatened.

"Cadence," Lily whispered gripping my arm. She kept a firm glare on the boys.

"Then you'll lose points yourself," the boy holding the snake laughed. "Not a very well thought out plan."

"Let her lose," I said reaching out to the boy who was holding the girl and grabbing his wrist. He let go of her but grabbed my wrist and attempted to pull me against him. I lifted the palm of my hand upwards and made contact with his nose, breaking it. Blood began to pour and Lily grabbed the girl's hand, pulling her away from the bullying boys.

"You—you bitch!" the boy said bending over and holding his nose. I raised my eyebrows at him and smirked. Looking at the ring leader holding the snake, I spoke.

"Now get out of here and don't bother her again."

"Or what, you'll break my friend's nose again?"

"I'll break yours next," I snapped stepping forward.

"Cadence," said Lily. "Let's go. Let it lie. That's a Ellis Grass Snake. It's poisonous and they'll get detention for it."

"It bit my leg!" the girl said in a panic.

I looked at her over my shoulder, which was a mistake.

"Cadence watch out!" Lily yelled pulling the girl farther away from me. The idiot boy had thrown the snake at me.

I turned just in time and caught the snake in my arms. I grabbed its head and turned it away from me as it hissed.

_Get your sick human hands off me!_

I dropped the snake in shock. Had I just heard what I thought I had? Had that snake spoken to me?

"Whoa!" some of the boys exclaimed because I caught the snake.

"Come on let's get out of here," said the ring leader and he dashed off, his friends behind him. The boy with the blood nose was running as fast as he could.

Once I was sure that the boys were gone and not coming back I looked around in the grass for the snake, but I didn't see it anywhere. I couldn't hear it either.

Don't think that, I said to myself. Snakes don't talk…and you definitely didn't hear it.

"Cadence," said Lily. "Help me."

I looked over at Lily who was holding one of the girl's arms over her shoulder.

"She can't walk well and she's becoming faint," Lily said.

I moved forward and took the girl's other arm. Slowly we made our way up the hill towards the castle and then to the hospital wing.

The nurse there said that the second year girl, her name was Holly, would be fine. The poison from the snake wasn't strong enough for it to affect her very much. She'd just be faint and wake up in a few hours.

Word of how I had broken a fourth year Slytherin's nose spread around the school quickly like wild fire. I didn't like the attention and felt stupid for putting myself out there to be seen. Lily told me that I shouldn't have broken the kid's nose and I was really lucky that I hadn't gotten in trouble for it. And despite how upset I was with myself for drawing attention I was also happy. People knew not to mess with me now and that I could very well take care of myself.

It was something that Sirius commented on later that night when he corned me alone in the common room before the fire.

"So, you broke a kids nose today?" he said sitting down next to me in one of the arm chairs after saying good night to James, Peter and Remus who had returned from the hospital wing the day before.

"Yea," I said closing my potions book. He smiled.

"Cool," he said. "I know not to make you angry now."

I laughed.

"I wouldn't break your nose," I said.

"You sure? I can be a real jerk sometimes."

"Well don't be and I won't break your nose." I gave him a grin.

"Cadence," he said my name very softly and it sent shivers through my body. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and a questioning look. He smiled at me and moved so he was sitting on the ground in front of me. "I was wondering," he said slowly. "How you felt about kissing again?"

"Uh," I said. I was slightly surprised by his question. "Well, I liked kissing you a lot…it was very good."

"Okay," he said slowly. "But…?"

"There isn't a but," I said.

"Oh really?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"It's just I don't know where we stand," I spoke slowly. "I don't just want to be some girl that you kiss Sirius."

"Who said that you were?"

"No one, but I don't want you to think that's all I am…I'm not looking for someone just to make out with."

"What are you looking for?" he asked.

I thought for a few seconds.

"I'm not really sure," I finally said. "I just know I'm looking for more then a make-out buddy."

"I'm looking for more then that too," he said. "I just wasn't sure how you felt."

"Well I don't know how I feel. I mean I like you, you're charming, good looking and a _very_ good kisser…but I just don't know if I want to necessarily date you."

"We could go on a date and see how it goes from there," he suggested.

"I wouldn't be against that," I said. "When's the next Hogsmeade visit?"

"Next month," he said scratching his chin. "Do you want to go for a walk with me around the grounds tomorrow?"

"Does that count as a date?"

"No…" he said slowly. "I wouldn't necessarily say a date. I just don't want to wait until next month to take you out and be alone with you."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Okay," I whispered. "I'll go for a walk with you tomorrow, Sirius."

His face brightened.

"Great," he said standing up. He leaned over my chair and kissed my cheek. "And by the way, I just thought you should know that you look lovely tonight."

I giggled.

"Thank you."

"And a girl who can kick a guys ass is really hot," he whispered and kissed my other cheek.

"Don't think just because you're a good kisser that I won't kick your ass if I have too," I smiled. He smiled too and pinched my cheek affectionately.

"I'll see you tomorrow, after breakfast?"

"Sure," I said nodding. "Are you actually going to kiss me before you go?"

"No," he said standing up. I grabbed his collar and pulled him down to me.

"You can't get away that easy."

I kissed him deeply, slipping my tongue into his mouth and he returned it. I wrapped my arms around him and couldn't help but smile against his lips.

"Alright," he whispered. "I'm going to bed. Sleep well."

"Thanks," I whispered back. "Sweet dreams."

"Only of you," he pinched my cheek and walked away to the boys' dormitory slowly.

I watched him go and I couldn't stop smiling. I really didn't understand how Lily thought Sirius was such a bad guy. Yes, he was a charmer, but I truly thought that he liked me and enjoyed charming me. I didn't think that he was womanizing or using me. I felt that if he was I would have known it.

As happy as I was when Sirius left me in the common room, I still felt that there was a great debate within me about him. I wasn't sure if I was really looking for someone to be close to, like a boyfriend. I liked Sirius a great deal and I felt that he wasn't using me, but part of me always asked the question—what if he is? I seemed to be second guessing myself and it wasn't a situation I liked. I didn't like doubting…why was there this debate in my head and heart? Why couldn't I just trust my first instinct?


	8. Confession

The next morning after breakfast I returned to my dormitory to dress for the walk outside that I had promised Sirius. Once I was tightly wrapped in my leather traveling cloak and my red scarf I left the dormitory with Demetrius in my arms. He was cuddly and warm and chased away any nervous that I had.

Sirius was waiting for me in the common room. I was a little surprised to see him. I thought he would just wear his pullover outside like he had every other morning I'd seen him gone onto the grounds. He was indeed wearing his pullover, but he also had black gloves and a scarf on. I couldn't help but smile at how handsome he was.

"Good morning."

"Hello," I said. Demetrius looked up from my arms and stared at Sirius for a few moments before yawning and putting his head back down. I laughed a little. "Demetrius doesn't think you're very interesting."

"Well it's a good thing that I'm not trying to date your cat," he said motioning for me to go through the porthole first. Once we were out in the corridor he wrapped his arm around my waist and we walked down the hall slowly. I liked the feeling of his arm wrapped around me. It was a comfort that I had never felt before and I was intrigued as to where it might lead.

The air outside was crisp and cool, but not uncomfortably cold. I enjoyed the bright rays of sunshine that were peeking over from behind the castle, and the way the grounds looked in the morning light. The dew was still fresh on the grass and as we walked across it I felt myself slip a few times.

"Did you have any intentions on this walk?" I asked softly glancing at Sirius. He looked at me and smiled in the sunlight.

"Your hair looks gorgeous in this light," he said. "Well…it looks gorgeous in any light, but the sunlight gives it a honey shine."

"Thanks," I smiled at his charm.

"How old is your cat?"

"Nine months," I said scratching Demetrius's head between the ears. I glanced at Sirius again. "You didn't answer my question Sirius."

"What do you mean by intentions?"

"Well…do you have a purpose for talking me on this walk?"

"Only to be with you, is that a good enough intention?"

"Of course," I smiled at him. "I just wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about anything in particular…"

"Do you?" he questioned.

"No," I said quickly. "No not really."

He looked at me with a sharp eye.

"But…?"

How was it that he could read me so well?

"I was just wondering what you thought of me," I whispered. "How you felt about me?"

"Well I'm interested in you," he said was we stopped by a giant oak tree near the Black Lake. "There's something about you Cadence that is different from other girls…you seem shy but confident, outgoing but not a risk taker, defensive but sensitive, gentle but harsh…and that isn't even all of you. You seem very complex and there aren't many girls around here like that…most of them all so shallow, and what's worse is that they're all the same."

He leaned against the tree and looked out at the lake as I watched him. He was deep in thought, like he wanted to tell me something he had never told before.

"I've always gone into a relationship attracted to the girl," he continued. "But that attraction only went so far…it never grew to anything. I learned what there was to know about her in a few weeks and the only thing I found of interest was her body. That's why I've never been in long relationships. I haven't found a girl who could keep my interest."

I frowned deeply and looked somewhat offended. The fact that a girl didn't hold his interest for very long I thought was very disgusting and said a lot about how he thought of women.

"Sirius, women are more then sexual objects."

"That's not what I meant," he said standing up straight and looking at me with some shock. He rubbed his head and sighed. "It came out wrong…I meant that I haven't found a girl with an intriguing personality…a personality that was fun and reasonable but still completely unpredictable. The only thing that I've found unpredictable about the girls I've dated is their bodies and the way they use them. I do want more than that Cadence. I want to be able to relate to someone and talk to them…I'm not a Casanova. I want more to a woman just like a woman wants more to a man. It's just…well I guess it's just complicated and I'm complicated."

"Have you ever told this to anyone else?"

"No," he said.

"Well perhaps that's why you haven't found a girl worth being with. Girl's are a lot like that Sirius, most girls. And I wouldn't be surprised if you have dated at least one girl who was more interesting then her body."

"But there's something different about you," he said looking at me. "I look into your eyes and I see so many things. I see faith, hope, pain, mystery…I can see that you're holding something deep in you that you want someone else to see. I haven't been able to look into a girl's eyes and see that before, Cadence. I don't think you understand how much I feel for you."

"You've felt this way for a long time?" I asked calmly.

My heart was beating quickly in my chest. Sirius's confession was so romantic and somewhat frightening. I didn't realize that he liked me so much, or wanted to know me more. Perhaps if I had known before I wouldn't have suppressed my feelings for him, or my desire to know him more.

"For awhile," he whispered. "I just was never sure how you felt about me. You're so close to Lily and she would have been a negative influence about me I would think."

I laughed a little.

"She doesn't think very highly of you," I agreed. I pet Demetrius smoothly and avoided Sirius's eyes, looking at my cat like he was the most interesting thing ever and Sirius wasn't there at all. I was almost afraid that he would figure out that I liked him just as much as he liked me.

"Do you not feel the same about me?" Sirius asked softly. I could hear the fear in his voice and it was the first time I had ever heard him speak like that. I would learn in the future that the only time Sirius spoke in fear was when he was afraid he'd lose me.

"It's not that I don't feel the same Sirius," I finally whispered looking up at him. "I just…I don't know if I can trust you."

He frowned.

"What can I do to make you trust me?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "I don't know how I can trust anyone."

"What did your Mother do that made you doubt so much?"

I looked at him with small tears in my eyes. I hadn't liked the fact that my Mother was a Death Eater and I could never believe that she had been so close to Voldemort to produce me. I had always thought that my Mother was the most generous, caring person in the world and every day until I learned of her past I wished and strived to be more like her. Losing her had pasted because I was so angry with her, but I hadn't faced that anger. I hadn't accepted that she was a bad person and she had pretended to be good my whole life. I wasn't sure if I could ever forgive her for lying to me…

"What's the matter?" he whispered touching my cheeks and wiping the tears away.

"My Mother," I whispered very softly as I took a breath. "She was a Death Eater…she…I…she was one of them…one of the very people that represented what she had taught me to fight against and all along she was one of them. She was evil. She followed an evil man and my whole life she taught me to be good. I just don't understand why."

Sirius pulled me into his arms and held me tight as I cried on his chest. I had been holding in everything for so long…I hadn't even cried at my Mother's funeral and here I was months later after her death, sobbing my eyes out over it. I thought I had moved on and I was over her betrayal.

I felt Sirius's fingers in my hair as he brushed it, and the other hand rubbing my back. Demetrius leaped from my arms and onto the grass, so I wrapped my arms around Sirius's body.

"She was the only thing I ever had and she was murdered by her own people. They killed her because she left Voldemort's side to protect me…but she still believed in him and loved him. She still loved him until she died…if it weren't for me she would have followed him to the ends of the earth."

Sirius lifted my chin and kissed my lips gently.

"Then I think it's good that she had you," he whispered. "If she had stayed with Voldemort her life would have surely ended by his hand also. There is no life with that monster, only death."

I wiped my cheeks and looked up at him.

"She was the only thing I ever believed in," I whispered. "The only thing good to me in this world and it was all a dirty lie. She was a Death Eater and she lied to me."

"No doubt to protect you."

"From what? She protected herself from my hate," I snapped pulling out of his arms. "I can't forgive her…she killed innocent people Sirius. She murdered along side Voldemort and I can never forgive her for that."

"I'm sure there are things that you don't know," Sirius said to my turned back. "Voldemort works in cruel ways…he blackmails and tortures people to his side. He taints the minds of the pure and consumes those of the wicked…anyone by his side can be his victim…not all of his followers are there because they believe in his cause."

"Does he trick women by his side by claiming to love them?" I asked.

"What?" Sirius asked with some confusion. "No…Voldemort doesn't love…he isn't capable of it. He stands alone always."

I turned to Sirius and bit my finger debating if I should tell him the dark secret that lay inside of me…in my blood and heritage.

He approached me and touched my cheek, looking into my eyes.

"There's that mysterious light I was talking about," he whispered. "In your eyes…something deep inside of you. You don't have to tell me Cadence. I understand that we don't always want to reveal our secrets to others…"

I looked at him and nodded then leaned against his chest.

"Sirius," I whispered.

"Yes?"

"Can you be close to someone who doesn't completely trust you?"

"If you're asking if I can be close to you," he said lifting my chin and looking me in the eye. "I can sure as hell try…hopefully I can make you trust me."

I couldn't help but smile.

He kissed my lips so delicately and held me close against him. There was something different about his kiss today then the kisses before. It was deeper and more intimate. We had become close in the morning walk, and that kiss was so passionate and special that I would hold it close to my heart for years to come.

Sirius was someone special to me…he was my constant watcher and protector, even if I didn't need protecting and he never once pressured me into revealing that I was Voldemort's daughter. We grew closer over the next few weeks until finally we made it official that we were dating. Sirius didn't seem to mind that I wasn't completely trustworthy of him…I think in the bottom of his heart he wasn't completely trustworthy of me either. I think he looked at it as more of a comfort thing I had then a lack of trust. He never pressured anything out of me…only told me he was concerned if something came about. I didn't realize that I would fall in love with such a man…and it wasn't until months later when I fell in love with Sirius that I realized that I had trusted him long before I had known it.

* * *

"Sirius asked me to be exclusive with him today," I said to Lily quietly in the library. She looked up from the large stacks of books in front of her and I saw the deep frown on her lips. I had planned to tell her in the library that way she couldn't shout at me. 

"And you said yes?"

"Yes," I said.

"Well," she said slowly as she looked back down at the ground. "You know that I don't like him…but like I've said before I'm not going to stop being your friend just because you're dating Sirius Black."

I smiled.

"Good," I said. "I'd hate it if you did."

"Just promise me you aren't going to be like my other girlfriends who find a boyfriend and suddenly disappear from my life, only reappearing when they're boyfriend dumped them?"

"Of course Lily," I said. "I'd never do that to you. You're the only friend I have."

"Except for Sirius."

"But it'd be foolish of me to cut you off just because of a boy."

Lily nodded.

"Especially a boy like Sirius."

I smiled and she smiled then we continued our homework in silence.

"Oh," Lily said a few minutes later. "I forgot to ask, have you gone to see Dumbledore yet?"

I blinked. What was I supposed to see Dumbledore about?

"Oh!" I said remembering. "No I haven't. I should do that."

Lily nodded.

"I'm interested to see what he says about your powers," she said. I blinked and nodded then looked back at my homework.

The truth was, over the last few weeks I had thought more about the powers of making the fire appear and go out and wondered if they were linked to my Father. My Grandfather had said that Voldemort was a very powerful wizard…what if, because I'm his daughter, I inherited some of his power? Part of me didn't want to speak to Dumbledore about it because when Lily asked how it went I'd have to lie to her so not to let on about my relation to Voldemort. I didn't want to lie to Lily…or Sirius if he asked…


	9. Dumbledore's Opinion

The next morning I planned to go to Dumbledore's office after breakfast and hopefully miss all of History of Magic if we talke

The next morning I planned to go to Dumbledore's office after breakfast and hopefully miss all of History of Magic if we talked long enough. Sirius and I didn't usually sit together at breakfast. I sat with Lily and her other friends, who I suppose were my friends even though I didn't know them very well and didn't really want to. I don't know how Lily ever became friends with Cecily Clark. She was quite possibly the most obnoxious girl I had ever met in my life; over dramatic and a petty, Cecily was one of the worst images of a girl I had ever seen. And when I found out that Sirius had dated her last year I was greatly shocked. Lily said I shouldn't be…Cecily was a dumb girl with a great body…what was shocking about Sirius dating a grade A girl?

I made my way out of breakfast a little earlier then usual. I didn't want to get caught in the crowded corridors with people on their way to class. As I walked out of the Great Hall someone caught my hand, wrapping their fingers with mine. I turned and Sirius pulled me into his chest, glowing down at me.

"You didn't think you were going to escape me this morning did you?"

I couldn't help but smile up at him. His dark blue eyes were staring into me like pools of mellow mystery. I felt like I could stare at them forever and get lost in their deepness. Not that I would mind…I wouldn't want to be found if I was lost in them.

"No," I said coolly. "Will you walk me to Dumbledore's office?"

"Sure," he said. He looked at me with some concern. "What's the matter? Why does he want to see you?"

"He doesn't, I want to talk to him," I said.

"Oh," said Sirius looking back into the Great Hall quickly. Dumbledore wasn't at the head table for the teachers. "What about?" He asked looking back at me as we began to walk through the hall towards the marble staircase.

"Remember when I put the fire out about a month ago?"

"Yea," he said slowly.

"Well I wanted to talk to him about it," I whispered softly.

"Why?"

"Well like you said I must be powerful to be able to do that and I just…well I want his opinion about it," I said slowly. I could feel Sirius looking at me and I looked up at him. "What?"

"That mysterious twinkle is in your eyes again," he said softly. "Hey, I wanted to ask you what you were planning on doing Saturday…it's the Hogsmeade visit."

"Oh right," I said. "I don't have any plans."

"Would you like to make plans with me?" Sirius asked with a charming smile that made my heart melt.

"Sure," I smiled up at him. "What'd you have in mind?"

"Just spend the day together in Hogsmeade," he said. "Maybe find something nice to buy you for Christmas…"

"What?" I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Why would you buy me something for Christmas right in front of me?"

"You could point something out and give me some ideas."

"Oh I see."

He squeezed my hand in his as we walked and kissed my fingertips.

"You don't want me to buy you something nice?"

"I don't want you to spend too much money on me," I said back with a smile. "You should be saving up for something—"

"Like what? I already have my own place in London."

I frowned slightly. He did have a point.

"Well I don't know, I just don't want you to spoil me."

Sirius stopped me in the corridor and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"You deserve to be spoiled, Cadence," he whispered so softly. "You deserve anything and everything a man could give you."

I couldn't help but smile as he stroked my cheek and tucked my brown curls behind my ear.

"Sirius," I whispered softly as he leaned in to kiss me. He paused a few inches from my face and smiled.

"Yes?" he asked.

I smiled and pulled away from him a little.

"Nothing," I said. I kissed his cheek quickly. "I should get going."

He pulled me close against him and kissed me deeply.

"Now you can go," he said with a wink. I smiled and pulled out of his arms. "I'll see you in class."

"I'm hoping I'll take long enough so I won't have to go to class at all," I said.

"Smart girl," he said. "Alright. I'll see you later. I hope Dumbledore sheds some light on your situation."

I thanked him and kissed him quickly good bye. I watched as he walked away from me down the hall. I turned and finished climbing the last flight of stairs to the seventh floor, where Dumbledore's office was located.

The large statues didn't seem surprised to see me and pounced out of the way before I even asked to see Dumbledore or gave them a password. I frowned slightly. This meant Dumbledore was expecting me, and that worried me a little.

I knocked softly on Dumbledore's office door and his calm voice bid me enter. I pushed open the door and was slightly surprised to see the old man standing at his window, looking out at the grounds.

"Good morning Miss Coleman," he said turning to me with his sparkling blue eyes and glowing smile. "What brings you to my office precisely when class is beginning?"

I frowned slightly.

"I just wanted to talk to you Sir," I said with a shrug.

"About what?" Dumbledore asked moving to his desk. He made a comfy chair appear for me, and then a tea tray with a steaming pot of tea and two cups. Before he sat down behind the desk he stroked the neck of his phoenix.

"I wanted to speak to you about magical powers, Professor," I said. "Powers that my Father has."

Dumbledore looked at me over his half moon spectacles and sat down behind his desk. He motioned for me to sit also, then poured tea for both of us. He sat back in his chair, holding his cup of tea and then spoke.

"What kind of powers are you inquiring about Miss Coleman?"

"Well, Sir," I said a little nervous. "About a month ago I put out the fire in the common room just by thinking about it, and then I relight it!"

Dumbledore didn't seemed surprised by my story and my heart skipped a beat a little. Was he expecting something like this to happen to me?

"Have you ever controlled anything with your mind in the past?" he asked coolly.

"No Sir," I whispered. "I mean, I've broken things when I was little and really angry…that kind of stuff…the kind of stuff all wizards and witches do when they lose control of their emotions."

"Did you lose control of your emotions when you set out the fire?"

"No," I shook my head. "I wanted it to be dark and it was dark. The fire went out because I wanted it to."

Dumbledore nodded his head very slowly.

"Sir, I was wondering if it was possible that I inherited some of my Father's power," I said quickly.

"Cadence," he spoke softly after sipping his tea. "Your Father is a very powerful wizard and I would definitely say it's possible that you inherited some of his powers."

I felt a horrible feeling well up inside of me, like I was carrying a monster in me that I someday might not be able to control. I feared having these powers that belonged to my Father. They disgusted me. I didn't want them. I didn't want to have anything to do with them—not if they were capable of hurting people.

"Just because your Father is a dangerous man Cadence doesn't mean you will follow in his footsteps," Dumbledore said. "Do not be afraid of using these powers the way your Father uses them. You control them, they do not control you."

"I feel as if he is part of me," I whispered. "I hate that."

"It's unfortunate that we do not choose our parents," Dumbledore said with a nod. "We are forced to live in their shadows whether they be bad ones or good ones. I have faith that you will be fine Cadence. You are stronger then you give yourself credit for. You will be fine."

I nodded my head slowly.

"I think you should try to study your powers," Dumbledore said very slowly. "So to have better control over them."

"I don't want to study them."

"It would be a waste to not use them for good Cadence. You can do great things with them. Your Father has done great things—terrible but still great. I would hate for you to waste these powers, especially if they could save your life later."

I frowned deeply.

"And how do you propose I study these powers?"

"You can take private lessons with me," Dumbledore said. "Or I can find someone else who will be able to help us."

I shrugged.

"I will look into it," he continued with a small smile. "You should probably be getting to History of Magic now Miss Coleman."

I sighed and stood up slowly as Dumbledore wrote me a note.

"Oh," he looked up at me. "There was one more thing I wished to discuss."

"Yes, Sir?"

"The incident last month during the Hogsmeade weekend," he spoke slowly. I noticed the small smile on his face. "I should tell you Miss Coleman that we will not tolerate violence between students here."

"Then you should punish the boy who let the snake bit that girl."

"Believe me he has been punished," said Dumbledore with a bow of his head. "We don't know who broke the boys nose…the fourth years didn't know her name. I have a strong suspicion though. I have no doubt that you'll be more careful about how you go about your Hogsmeade weekends Miss Coleman."

"Yes Sir," I nodded. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome Miss Coleman," said Dumbledore handing me the note. "Have a good day."

"You as well," I said heading for his office door. I stopped and turned back quickly. "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Is it possible for someone to talk to animals?"

"Yes, very," said Dumbledore slowly. "Witches and wizards are born with the skill. It is not something that can be learned, although it has been tried."

"Oh," I nodded my head. "Thank you Sir."

"Good day Miss Coleman."

I left the office quickly, closing the door tightly behind me as my mind raced with Dumbledore's answer to my last question. Was it possible that I could understand and speak to snakes? But how could I speak a whole other language with out knowing it?

I made my way slowly down to History of Magic with my note from Professor Dumbledore. I really did not want to return to class, but I had no option now. I entered the classroom and placed the note on the desk, apologizing to Professor Binns who barely noticed me coming in late.

"How'd it go?" Lily asked as soon as I sat down. I looked at her and shrugged.

"He wants me to take lessons with him," I said. "To learn to control the powers better. He didn't seem surprised that I was capable of it."

"I wonder why you are capable of it."

I shrugged and felt my heart tighten.

"I didn't bother to ask," I lied. I knew exactly why I was capable of it—because my Father was capable of it. I hated lying to Lily, but I didn't want her to know who my Father was and why I was able to control things with my mind.

Sirius asked me about the visit to Dumbledore at dinner that evening and I told him the same thing I had told Lily. My heart hurt worse when I lied to Sirius, but there was nothing I felt I could do about it. I didn't want to think of how he would respond when he found out I was the daughter of some monster. I tried not to let it bother me, but it kept me up at night. You can lie to everyone but yourself, and that's why I didn't sleep nights. I hated my secret…it was slowly eating me away from the inside.

The next Saturday I accompanied Sirius to Hogsmeade for the day. He met me in the Entrance Hall and we walked down the long path to the village from the castle together holding hands. It was very chilly and snow as starting to fall in small defined flakes. I hated that it was the start of winter. That meant that there were cold months and lonely holidays to come. It'd be the first Christmas I spent with my Grandfather and with out my Mother. I wasn't sure how well I was going to like it.

Sirius had brought up while we were in Hogsmeade that he'd be returning to his flat for the holiday and possibly visiting James's family also. He asked me if I'd like to come stay with him for awhile. I told him I'd think about it, but I was very sure that my Grandfather wouldn't approve of it.

I hadn't heard from my Grandfather since I left for school and it wasn't until about mid December that I even received a letter from him. He hoped that I was doing well in my courses, and studying hard. He also wished me a Happy Christmas. He wasn't coming home for the holiday. He was going to stay in Whales with a lady friend and take care of some business.

The letter upset me a little. What kind of business was he taking care of? I was frustrated that he had just marched into my life and brought me across the Atlantic to England and now he wasn't even going to spend time with me or be responsible for me. But at the same time I was happy that he wasn't coming home. I didn't need him and I didn't want to spend the holiday with him. He was cold and I understood why it was so easy for my Mother to be chased away from him and my Grandmother. There was nothing in his big mansion to stay for—there was no love in that family and I was sad to be a part of it.


	10. Surprise On The Platform

"So he isn't coming home for the holiday

"So he isn't coming home for the holiday?" Sirius asked looking at me with raised eyebrows over the chess board that was in front of him. I was leaning against James's chair in the common room, across from Sirius, as the two best mates played a never ending game of wizard's chess. The dumb game had been going on for five hours and it was almost midnight. I had wanted to talk to Sirius all day about how my Grandfather wasn't coming home for the holiday but he had been off with James and I hadn't gotten the chance.

"No," I whispered playing with my sleeve and looking up at Sirius.

"More the reason for you to come to my place," he said with a glowing smile.

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

Sirius looked up at me before taking his turn with a deep frown.

"You don't want to spend the holiday with me?"

"I didn't say that," I said shaking my head. "I just don't know what I'm going to do."

"You should stay with Sirius," said James. "His flat is amazing."

"Thank you James," I said rubbing my temples. Sirius stared at me for a few moments. I couldn't look him in the eyes though. He was staring at me so hard, and it made me feel incredibly see through.

"Check mate!" James exclaimed. He fell back in his chair and brushed his hand through his messy black hair. "Thank Merlin…that was the longest game ever."

"Yea," said Sirius with a nod. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"You're not coming to bed?" James asked standing up. Then he looked at me and frowned. "Oh…see you later then."

"Night James."

"Night Cadence," he said with a wave and then disappeared up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

Sirius sat back in his chair and tapped his lap. I smiled at him and tilted my head to the side and he motioned for me to come to him. I slowly moved to him and sat down on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder.

"You don't have to come to my flat for the holiday if you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to," I whispered. "I'm just a little frustrated with my Grandfather."

"Why?"

"Because he dragged my ass all the way to this damned country and left me in his dumb mansion over the summer trusting that I would find my way here to Hogwarts, and now he's leaving me alone again for the Christmas holiday," I snipped in one breath.

Sirius smiled and kissed my shoulder again.

"Well," he said. "I'm very happy he dragged your very cute ass all the way to this damned country. You found Hogwarts pretty well I must say, and I don't think he's used to the idea of having someone to take care of…or someone to watch after and spend holidays with."

"He raised my Mother, he isn't knew to this…I just…it annoys me that he wanted me to come here to protect me from my Father and now he isn't even bothering to protect me. Leaving me to travel home by myself and stay at home by myself with nothing but a little house elf is hardly very good protection. I wonder if Dumbledore knows about all this?"

"Why would you need protection from your Father?" Sirius asked seriously.

I paused for a moment and looked away form him, into the fire in the grate. The flames were dying and for a moment I felt my heart skip a beat. How could I let that slip? What did I tell Sirius? The truth, that my Father was Lord Voldemort or lie and tell him that my Father is a Death Eater? I didn't want to lie to Sirius but I wasn't ready for anyone to know my secret. And Dumbledore had told me not to tell anyone. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to tell the people I trusted.

"Cadence?" he asked hooking my chin and turning my face to look at his. He lifted his eyebrows when I didn't answer. "There's that mystery in your eyes again. Why would your Father want to hurt you?"

"My Mother didn't tell him I existed," I whispered. "When she was killed…well…Dumbledore seems to think that he might know about me now…and he's a dangerous wizard Sirius. Dumbledore and my Grandfather think he's going to try and kill me if he doesn't already know who I am, or he'll try to make me become a Death Eater."

"Your Father is a Death Eater?"

I nodded my head slowly and looked back to the fire.

"The most dangerous," I whispered.

"Well then it's settled," Sirius said after a long pause.

"What is?" I asked looking at him quickly.

"You'll have to come with me over holidays, or I'll come with you. I'm not going to leave you alone when you're in so much danger Cadence."

"That's very sweet Sirius, but I think I can take care of myself."

"Then why are you complaining that your Grandfather isn't going to be home to spend Christmas with you?"

I stood up off Sirius's lap and moved to the fireplace.

"I'm not angry that he isn't there to protect me. I know I can take care of myself. I killed the Death Eaters that attacked my Mother and me. They came down the stairs and he landed on my Mother…" I held my breath for a moment. "I had been making dinner in the kitchen…it only took one stab to kill him. But my Mother was already dead, and then another one appeared at the top of the stairs."

I closed my eyes tight and glanced at Sirius, but his chair was empty. I turned completely around, my breath caught in my chest and tears in my eyes. But he hadn't gone, he was right next to me, standing close and ready to hold me. He rubbed my cheek softly.

"Go on Cadence," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

"He left," I sighed. "He left after he knocked me around a bit…but he didn't kill me. I know I can take care of myself Sirius. I know I can. My Grandfather was so sure that I couldn't that he brought me here, claiming that he had to protect me and now he isn't. That's what frustrate and annoys me. He says one thing and doesn't do it. The man is a bastard. I hate him. I know why my Mother hated him."

"I don't know if you should take it that far," Sirius said stroking my hair. "I think he wanted to keep you safe by bringing you here. Perhaps he wants you to stay here at Hogwarts because he isn't coming home for the holiday. Students can stay here. You'd be safe here."

"I don't want to stay here alone," Cadence whispered.

"I know," Sirius smiled and kissed her forehead. "More the reason for you to come home with me."

I couldn't help but smile against his chest as he held me.

"I don't doubt that you can take care of yourself Cadence," he whispered in my ear. "Is it so bad that I want to spend Christmas with you?"

"No," I said back with a smile. "It's not at all."

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. His fingers brushed through my hair smoothly in long strokes as his other hand rubbed my back.

"Sometimes I'm afraid Sirius," I whispered looking into the fire while still in his arms. "I'm afraid that I can't trust anyone, or love anyone. Letting someone in just seems like another invitation to get hurt."

"I understand," he said softly. "I don't want to hurt you Cadence. I want to be with you and care for you any way that I can."

I looked up into Sirius's eyes very seriously.

"How can you say that after only a few weeks of dating?"

"The reason why I started dating you was because I care about you Cadence. I didn't say I love you…that's something different that I have yet to feel with any woman. I won't lie though. I have wanted to feel that with you."

I nodded my head slowly and looked back into the fire.

"Cadence," Sirius said tilting my chin back up. "You don't have to hold anything back from me. I want to know what you're feeling. I want to understand what's inside your head and I won't run away when I find out what's in there. It's a part of you and I want to know it because of that. Anything that is you I want to know."

"Sirius," I sighed softly. "I'm just not ready to tell you."

I looked away from him and leaned my head against his chest.

"I promise someday I will, but I'm just not ready…"

"Alright," he whispered back kissing my head. "Whenever you're ready, Cadence."

* * *

My feet were up on the seat opposite mine in the train compartment. Lily was sitting across from me reading a magazine with a handsome wizard on the front holding a guitar. I tilted my head to the side to look at the wizard more clearly and smiled a little. He had a lot of tattoos and dark brown hair.

"He's not really my type," said Lily looking up at me. I sat up straight and shrugged.

"I think he's attractive."

"Well of course you would," Lily smiled.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked sitting up straight.

"You like the bad boys Cadence. It's not a bad thing."

"And you like the good boys?" I said with raised eyebrows.

"No," Lily shrugged. "I just don't like them as bad as you."

"Sirius isn't that bad."

"I didn't say he was."

"Right," I said. The compartment grew silent between the two of us after that. I was watching Lily wondering why she didn't like James so much. Was there more to it then him being a little arrogant sometimes? From the time I spent with him he was actually a likeable guy.

"Lily," I spoke softly.

"Yea?"

"Why don't you like James Potter?"

Lily looked at me with unblinking eyes for a few moments.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"He's arrogant."

"He thinks acting that way makes people like him."

"Who would every like an arrogant fool who is so full of himself that his broom can barely lift his big head?"

I laughed a little. The image of James with a large inflated head was amusing.

"Lily, honestly he's not that bad of a guy," I said. "He's really very likable."

"I don't think going around cursing people because you can is likable."

"Half the people he curses were going to attack him first."

"You're just defending him because you're dating Sirius."

I looked at her sharply.

"No, Lily. I'm defending him because he's my friend and a good person."

Lily sighed and shrugged, disappearing behind her magazine. Her lack of response made me angry and I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. Lily was my only close friend at Hogwarts; I didn't want to argue with her.

"I'm not mad at you," she whispered as the train pulled to a halt.

"No?" I asked standing up and collecting my things. It was going to be hard to get Demetrius back in his basket. He was spread out on the seat next to me, on his back and feet in the air sleeping. He wasn't going to be happy when I woke him.

"No," Lily said collecting her bags. "I just don't like Potter. I think he needs a reality check."

"Maybe he'll get it," I whispered with a shrug. "I shouldn't be forcing you to like him anyways. I apologize."

"Don't, you didn't do anything wrong."

We walked off the train together, smiling.

"There are my parents," Lily said. "Come over and meet them?"

"Oh, sure," I said awkwardly. I followed her over to a tall man and woman, who looked down at Lily with beaming eyes. Lily looked like her Mother with long brown busy hair and green eyes. Lily's Father was tall with a balding head of black and grey hair. He wore silver framed glasses, and had his ears pierced.

Lily hugged her parents warmly and I felt a hole in the pit of my stomach open up with jealousy. I would never have that.

"Mum, Dad," Lily said pulling out of her Father's embrace. "This is my friend Cadence Coleman."

"Hello," said Lily's Mother taking my hand and shaking it. "A pleasure to meet you."

"Hi there," said her Father shaking my hand after her Mother. "Nice to meet a friend of Lily's."

"Wonderful to meet the both of you."

"Cadence!" called a voice. I turned around and was shocked to see my Grandfather coming through the crowd on the platform.

"Grandpa!" I said surprised. He hugged me tightly and ruffled my hair, surprising me even more. "What are you doing here?"

"Surprise!" he said. "I wanted to surprise you for the holiday."

"You're not staying in Whales?"

My Grandfather's face fell slightly and he looked a little confused about what I was talking about.

"No," he said. "Nope…thought we should spend the holiday together, definitely."

"Right," I said slowly. "Of course. Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. and Mrs. Evans this is my Grandfather—"

"Caldwell Coleman," my Grandfather said putting his hand out for Mr. Evans to shake. He was beaming in a way that seemed unfamiliar. I don't think I had ever seen my Grandfather smile in the short time that I had known him. "Pleasure."

"You also," said Mr. Evans. "You're a wizard?"

Lily rubbed her temples.

"My parents aren't magical," she said slowly.

My Grandfather's face fell slightly and I caught a flame of hate fire up in his eyes. But when I looked back to see it again, he was smiling and the flame was gone.

"We should be going," said Mrs. Evans. "It was wonderful to meet you Cadence, Mr. Coleman."

"You also," I said.

"Have a good holiday," Lily said with a wave.

"Happy Christmas," I said back to her.

I watched as she walked away with her parents and again felt a surge of jealousy. I shook my head and turned to my Grandfather.

"Shall we?" he asked.

"Hold on just a minute," I said looking around. My eyes fell on Sirius and I smile waving at him. He beamed and moved through the crowd quickly, dragging his trunk. He reached me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you," he said. His eyes looked at my Grandfather and did a double take. My Grandfather was glaring at Sirius.

"Grandpa," I said looking at him. "This is my boyfriend Sirius Black. Sirius, this is my Grandfather, Caldwell Coleman."

"A pleasure to meet you Sir," said Sirius holding out his hand and shaking my Grandfather's. "Cadence speaks very highly of you."

I wish he hadn't lied.

"She's never mentioned you," said my Grandfather crossly.

"He surprised me," I said to Sirius. "I'll see you Christmas day? I'll come by the flat?"

"Yea, okay," Sirius said a little disappointed. He had been looking forward to spending the whole holiday with me. "I'll send you the directions."

"Thanks," I said with a smile. I kissed his lips. "I'll see you soon."

He hugged me and kissed my neck, below my ear.

"Be careful."

I nodded.

"You too."

He squeezed my hand and we broke free. I waved to him and then walked away with my Grandfather.

"You seem disappointed to see me," he said slowly.

"Oh no," I lied a little. "Sirius was going to let me stay at his place so I wouldn't be alone during the holiday. But I'm happy you decided to come home…as sudden as it was. Did you work out the business you had to handle in Whales?"

"Business?" he questioned as he headed for the portal to platform 9 and 10. "Oh, yes. Took care of all of it."

"And your friend?"

"What about him?"

"I thought it was a lady friend?" I said looking up at him as we walked out of the train station.

"Oh," he said quickly and awkwardly. "Oh yes, Elizabeth. She decided it better we not spend the holiday together."

I stopped on the spot and he stopped next to me.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Come along, we should be getting home."

"Why?" I asked slowly walking with him as he took my arm.

"Have to get dinner started," he said.

"Why wouldn't Daisy be cooking dinner?" I asked pulling my arm out of his grasp.

"Will you stop it and just come along?" he snapped harshly. I saw that flame of hatred in his eyes again and my body tensed up. This wasn't my Grandfather, I had to get away from him. I turned to run but he grabbed my waist. My bags went tumbling from my arms, Demetrius's basket rolled across the cement and opened and he jumped up hissing at us.

"Get off me!" I screamed. We were in the middle of a Muggle parking lot and there wasn't anyone around. No one would hear me, and if they did they wouldn't get here in time.

"Shut up!" he yelled covering my mouth.

I felt a sharp pull on my body, like I had when my Grandfather had brought me to England, and there was pressure on all sides of my body. My ears were popping and I felt like my head was going to explode.

Then my feet hit solid ground and I collapsed, hitting my head on a hard surface. All went black.


	11. Gabriel

I was cold

I was cold. I couldn't remember ever being so cold. When I opened my eyes I was lying on a bed with a thin white sheet under me and a pillow under my head. I sat up slowly rubbing the throbbing head ache that was coming on. There was no light in the room, no windows, and I couldn't find anything to light. I felt around near the bed and found a nightstand, with a candle on it. I frowned slightly…okay light would be nice.

The candle wick erupted with a flame. I jumped back slightly with surprise at my own actions. How could I have forgotten about my powers? I frowned as I looked around the room. It was completely empty, with a door across from the bed. I stood up and moved to the door to see if it was unlocked. It would be foolish if it was. Why would someone kidnap me and then leave me in an unlocked room?

The door was locked. As a matter of fact it didn't even have a door knob on it. I frowned deeply and wondered if my powers could get me out of here. Before I could consider how to use my powers to escape I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. I moved quickly and blew out the candle, sitting on the bed in the fair corner.

The door opened and light flew in. I squinted because it was so bright and tried to look at the figure that was entering the room. The dark stranger said nothing and pulled out their wand, lighting the candle that I had just extinguished. He was a tall dark man, with black eyes and brown hair. His skin was a tanned shade, and he had facial stubble on his cheeks and chin. Was this the man disguised as my Grandfather who had kidnapped me, or was this my Father?

I had to assume that whoever had kidnapped me was my Father or working for him. It was an unsettling thought. That meant that my Father knew about me and I was either going to die or be tricked into becoming a Death Eater. I tried to hid my fear deep inside of me as I glared at the man but he smirked and I'm sure he knew my fear.

"Don't look at me like that," he said. "I just saved your life."

"Oh really?" I hissed. "On the contrary, I think you ruined it."

"Nonsense," he said. "I saved you from a life of good and your Father rewarded me greatly for it."

"So you saved me from nothing," I said as he sat at the foot of the bed. I pushed myself against the wall even though I couldn't go anywhere. I didn't want him near me at all. "You kidnapped me to benefit yourself."

"And your Father," he said slowly. "He takes great comfort knowing you are in my care and not Dumbledore's."

"Where is my Grandfather?" I asked. "Did you kill him?"

"No," the man shook his head. "He's still in Whales. The fool should really send his mail more carefully. I suppose you should read it better also."

"You intercepted his letter?"

"Best way to find out what you would be doing for the holidays," he shrugged. "With your Grandfather out of the way, if he had returned to get you he most likely would have been killed, it made it much easier to get you."

"Why did you kidnap me? Why didn't my Father do it himself?"

"Because you Father could hardly be seen walking the streets of London," said the man. "He had more important things to take care of."

"More important things then his daughter?"

"His priorities are in line," he said slowly. "Are you hungry?"

"No," I said quickly even though there was an aching in my stomach.

"A shower perhaps?"

"No," I said quickly again.

"Do you say no to every man who offers you things?"

"Depends on the man."

"So if it were your Grandfather offering you food, clothing and protection you'd take it?"

"Probably not," I said. "He offered me protection form people like you and it did me a lot of good. I'm better off taking care of myself."

"That's what I like to hear," he said with a broad smile. If I didn't know better I'd say his smile was charming.

"Besides, who would you offer me protection from? As far as I can tell you're the one who I need protection from."

"I can teach you how to protect yourself."

I looked up at him very seriously. What was he doing? Was he holding me captive or was he trying to take care of me?

"To be a Death Eater you'll have to be able to take care of yourself well. Defensive spells, hand to hand combat, weapons…you'll need to know how to use them to kill."

"I don't want to kill people."

"I don't think you really have a choice when it comes to that Cadence," he said standing up and straightening his cloak. "In this world is kill or be killed. Which would you like?"

"I won't kill people."

"We'll see," he said going to the door.

"Who are you?" I asked quickly.

He paused at the door and looked back at me.

"My name is Gabriel," he said slowly. "I will be back in a few hours."

He closed the door tightly behind him and I didn't move. There was no point of going after him to try the door…there was no handle. I sat on the bed, watching the candle as he flame danced. Gabriel…I repeated his name in my head mauling him over…he was a mysterious character. Hardly an angel.

* * *

"You know people are going to be looking for me?"

Gabriel had returned like he said he would, about three hours later from what I could tell.

"Like who?" he asked.

"Just people," I whispered as Gabriel placed a plate of food on the night stand. I didn't want to tell him about Sirius. What if that put Sirius in danger, or led him to James, Lily, Remus or Peter? I couldn't have that. "Like my Grandfather."

"Your Grandfather is an idiot," Gabriel said bluntly I frowned at him. "Eat." He motioned to the food and made a chair appear with his wand. He sat down and crossed his ankle over his knee.

"Why do you say that?" I asked slowly.

"Eat Cadence," he said again.

"Answer my question," I said glaring.

"You Grandfather brought you here to protect you, did he not?" Gabriel said in his deep calming voice. I nodded my head to answer his question as I picked up the plate. There was chicken, mashed potatoes and vegetables and on it. I looked at him to make sure he was still talking. "And then he leaves you alone for the summer, and allows you to spend the Christmas holiday alone with nothing but a house elf to protect you?"

"How do you know about this summer?"

"Your Grandfather is not a new threat to the cause. He's been fighting against it for sometime…and he is close with Dumbledore. Your Father made it a point that he should be watched, especially since he was Candice's Father."

"Why didn't you take me then?"

"Wasn't the right time," Gabriel shrugged. "We didn't know who you were. Why aren't you eating?"

"I don't have a fork," I said back.

"I know," he said staring at me. I glared at him. Was he trying to humiliate me, or just make me use these powers that I didn't fully understand yet? Either way, I wasn't going to let him get to me. I picked up a carrot with my fingers and began to eat it. He smiled a little.

"He's going to check up on me eventually," I whispered. "Even if he did bring me closer to danger…he'll check up on me."

"You hope he will."

I frowned. How did Gabriel know me so well? I finished the vegetables slowly, always keeping something in my mouth so I didn't have to talk. Gabriel put his food on the ground and crossed his arms over his chest.

"We sent your Grandfather a letter that said you made it home safe."

"He is an idiot," I admitted. I didn't like the smile on Gabriel's face. "I hate him so much sometimes."

"Why?" he asked. I looked away from him and dipped my finger in the mashed potatoes, licking it off my finger slowly. I was suddenly very aware of him looking at me.

"Because," I said not looking at him. "He dragged my ass all the way over here when I would have been just fine in New York. I can take care of myself."

"You'll be able to take care of yourself better once I've trained you."

"What are you talking about? Training me?"

"I told you already," he said standing up and handing me a fork and knife wrapped in a napkin. "I have to train you to be a Death Eater."

"I told you already, I'm not going to be a Death Eater," I said snatching the utensils from him.

"Then you'll die," he said. "Enjoy your meal."

He walked to the door and left the room. I looked down at my food and suddenly lost my appetite. I put the plate on the night stand and laid in the bed. I didn't know what to feel. I was afraid, but at the same time I wasn't. I didn't want to give Gabriel the pleasure of scaring me. The fear that beat in my heart was that of my Father…was I going to see him, meet him? Was he going to make me into one of his followers…or did I really want to die?

* * *

I lost track of the time. I knew Sirius would be worried about me. It had to be at least a week since Gabriel had taken me, Christmas was tomorrow then. But what could Sirius do? Write to Dumbledore that I hadn't shown up at his place, write to my Grandfather who had no idea what I was doing? I hoped Sirius was smart enough to write to Dumbledore, not my Grandfather. The idiot wouldn't be worth anything.

I wasn't expected the door to open when it did. Gabriel came in and threw clothing on to the bed next to me.

"Get dressed," he said. "Let's go."

"What?" I asked.

"Put these clothes on," he said pointing to the clothes on the bed. "We're getting started."

"Started with what?"

"Just get dressed," he said closing the door. I frowned and began to take off my shirt and the door opened again. I turned to the door glaring at Gabriel. "If you're not dressed in four minutes I'm going to come in here and dress you myself."

"What do you think I'm doing?" I snapped.

Gabriel looked me over and I grabbed the new shirt he had brought me, covering myself up quickly. His dark eyes were looking right through me and I felt like even my shirt wasn't protecting me from his eyes. He turned and left the room and I held the shirt over me for a few more minutes. I put on the pants he had brought me and the tee shirt and then knocked on the door. He opened it and stepped to the side.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what, being a pervert?"

"Yea," he nodded. "I didn't mean to walk in on you."

"But you did."

"I said I was sorry."

I looked around the hallway we were in. It was thin and there were other doors down the hall. At the end of the hall was a staircase, going down into a light front hall.

"Whatever," I whispered. "Where are we going?"

"Downstairs," he said. "Time to start training."

I stared at him blankly.

"What are we learning?"

"You'll see."

He closed the door behind me and walked down the hall heading down the stairs.

"Come on Cadence," he called back at me. I followed him down the stairs into an entrance hall way. The front door had large windows and I could see out into a peaceful looking neighborhood. Would it be foolish of me to open the door and run now? Gabriel took my arm and ushered me away from the door. Yes…it would be foolish.

We walked through a small kitchen and Gabriel opened another door.

"Go down," he said motioning to the staircase behind the door. I stepped down it slowly.

The cellar was dark and smelled of dirt. Gabriel lit some candles behind me and slowly they lit around the room. There were a number of weapons hanging on the walls, from whips and chains to knives and swords. I looked at Gabriel.

"You don't use your wand?"

"Of course I do," he said flicking it and knocking me off my feet. "But sometimes it's just more fun to use another weapon."

I shuttered at the thought of using a weapon on someone else…like I had the knife on the Death Eater who killed my mother. I had felt that power before, that rush…the horror of taking someone's life with my own hands. There was no way to explain it.

Gabriel was staring at me with raised eyebrows.

"You're not even going to get up?" he asked.

I frowned and stood up dusting off my back and legs. As soon as I was standing up straight that bastard knocked me over again with his wand. I looked up at him with a harsh glare and he smirked. I felt like I was in school again and being picked on by the bully. I debated standing up again. He'd just knock me over again no doubt.

He flicked his wand and my body flipped over and flew up in the air upside down, by the ankle. He was laughing at me now and I felt my annoyance and hatred grow even more inside.

"Did you bring me down here just to play with me?" I asked harshly.

I dropped to the ground, moaning from the impact on the cold cement floor.

"If I did, what are you going to do about it?" Gabriel asked glaring suddenly. He flicked his wand and I slid across the floor against the wall, my body slamming against the stone painfully. "Get up."

I didn't want to. He'd just knock me over again.

"I said _get up_."

I moved slowly, lifting my body from the ground and leaning against the wall. I wasn't sure if I wanted to play this game with Gabriel anymore. Was he going to teach me anything, or kill me? I didn't want to learn how to kill people. I knew that's what he was really teaching me, not defensive skills. That was all bullshit. He was teaching me to kill so I could be a Death Eater. But at the same time…did I want to learn to kill people and choose not to use the strength and knowledge that I gain, or die myself by his hand? I did not like my options…

"It's hardly fair to pick on me without my wand," I sighed. "I have no way of defending myself."

"Life isn't fair," he said cruelly. "Choose your weapon." He motioned to the walls of the cellar and I frowned even more. I had no idea how to use any of these. I turned to the wall and slowly pulled a knife from its hooks, looking at it with some fear. I felt my body lurch, and Gabriel pulled me to the ground again with his wand.

"Will you stop it?" I snapped jumping up.

"Do something about it, Cadence," he said. "Because I'm not going to stop."

Before I could retort I was on the ground again. He wasn't even giving me a chance to defend myself.

"An Auror won't give you a chance either," he said crossly. "If this were a duel you'd be dead."

"That's very helpful, thank you."

"Stop the sarcasm," he snapped. I stood up and glared at him. I lifted my hand that held the knife and threw it at him. The blade went spinning threw the air with precision, and he caught it right out of the air. I took a step back out of shock. That was kind of cool. He smirked and flipped the knife over, holding the blade and threw it back at me. I had to duck out of the way.

"What the hell are you doing!?" I yelled from the ground. This time he came at me and grabbed my shoulders, lifting me off the ground and slamming me against the wall.

"You're pathetic Cadence," he hissed. "You don't know anything about your body or how to use it. When they told me you had killed Jones I thought that maybe I'd be dealing with a deadly machine who didn't know the power of her own strength."

"Jones grabbed me and I turned into him with the knife."

"That's not something to be proud of," he hissed close to me. His grip on my arms was starting to hurt. I lifted my knee into his stomach and knocked him over the head with my elbow. He fell to the ground holding his abdomen, and laughing a little.

"Is that something to be proud of?" I snapped at him.

"There it is," he smiled at me. "Now we begin."


	12. Attempt

"Now what do you do, Cadence

"Now what do you do, Cadence?" Gabriel asked, his hot breath on my ear.

I was on my knees before him, he was holding my head back with his wand pressed against my neck. My chest was heaving up and down from the duel we had just gone through and perspiration was running down my face. I couldn't tell you how many duels we had gone through before this, and I couldn't tell you how many times I had ended on me knees like this. Gabriel rarely fought fair. He tried every time to get me to hit him with a life threatening blow, but I had yet to. He always tried to push me over the edge so I would try and kill him. He had taught me ways to kill people, with and with out a wand, but I didn't practice them. I didn't want to kill people. The only reason why I put up with his training was that it kept me alive one more day. And the only thing I had in Gabriel's home was the hope for tomorrow.

I think I had been with him for at least a month, but it was hard to tell when the only sunlight I saw was when I walked between my room and the basement. Training had become the way to pass the time. Even when Gabriel was done with his lesson I would ask him if I could stay in the basement to practice longer. Everyday I became stronger, and every day Gabriel grew a little weaker. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me. Despite not playing fair when we trained or dueled, he was becoming nicer to me when we spoke and when we ate together.

"What do you do?" he repeated.

"Take my knife," I said slowly taking the knife from my boot. "Stab your thigh." I motioned my knife going into his thigh, but didn't actually stab him. It was something we had always practiced—the motion of the deadly blow, but not the blow itself. "Knock your wand hand away." I did so. His wand slid across the floor and hit the wall. "Punch you in the crotch." I motioned this too and smiled up at him. He was smiling down at me, his hand in my hair, brushing through it softly.

I suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable. I wasn't sure how to act, let alone respond, to him smiling and staring at me like that.

"Alright," he laughed a little. "I fall back from the blow."

He fell back onto the ground.

"Now what do you do?" he asked.

"Pull my knife from your thigh," I said softly. I crawled on top of him, pinning his elbows down with my knees and straddling his chest and placed my knife against his throat. "And I pin you."

He wasn't wearing a shirt (he didn't usually) and his muscular chest and abdomen were right below me. I tried not to let my body touch his, but that was nearly impossible.

"And you kill me," he said. "Slitting my throat of stabbing my heart."

"I didn't say that," I glared at him.

"That's what you should do."

"No, I should knock you over the head so you black out and take you to Azkaban."

He threw me off of him and pinned me to the floor, my hands above my head. I had dropped my knife and I felt completely lost. I had no weapon now. Gabriel was heavy over me, his lean muscular body was hard and tough and solid mass that I had dreamt about for sometime since he had kidnapped me. What could I say? He had a really nice body.

"You're not training to be an Auror, Cadence," he said crossly.

"I'm not training to be a Death Eater," I snapped back.

There was noise upstairs and both of us looked to the basement door. In all the time I had spent in the house I had never heard or seen any person in it but Gabriel. The idea of someone else in it blew my mind. Gabriel got up off me instantly and retrieved his wand.

"Stay here," he said sternly. I stretched out on the ground and sighed, feeling like a little child who had been put in a corner.

"Gabriel?" called a female voice. I raised my eyebrows as he went up the stairs, skipping one every time. "Gabriel, where are you?"

"Anita," said Gabriel in some surprise. The basement door closed and I frowned slightly, wondering who Anita was. I stood up and all thought of Anita was wiped from head. I looked around the basement. I had been trying to think of a way to escape the house for sometime now because it was obvious that no one was coming for me. I had been trapped her far too long.

I thought of Sirius every night before I went to bed. I wondered if he was lying in bed thinking of me, or was he thinking of another girl? Had he moved on and stuck to his playboy persona. Was I just another notch in his bedpost? I knew in my heart (and hoped) that this wasn't true. I could remember the way he looked at me, and the way he touched me. I had always been an interest of his…ever since we first met last summer in Diagon Alley.

I frowned and looked up at the basement windows. Would it be too simple to escape through one of them? It was a small window, maybe a foot tall, but I was sure I could fit through it if push came to shove. Why had it never occurred to me before? I went to the wall and looked up at the window. I would need a chair.

There was a pop and clanking sound. A chair had appeared in thin air and hit the ground, its four legs wobbling a little before it became steady. I smiled to myself. Gabriel didn't know it, but while he left me alone in the basement to practice I had been practicing my mental powers as well. I practiced calling things to me from across the basement, and making them appear in my hands. I was able to conjure weapons in a blink of an eye. I had thought about killing Gabriel during our duels in this manner, he wouldn't be expecting it when the knife appeared in my hand, and he would die with my secret, not able to tell a soul that I had mental powers. But I came to the conclusion that not only did I want to kill Gabriel (despite how he was a Death Eater like the bastard Jones who killed my mother) I didn't want to be responsible for murdering someone. The guilt of killing Jones was not a heavy load because I had done it in self defense. Killing Gabriel…well I didn't think there was anything defensive about it. Really, Gabriel had never hurt me and he took good care of me. To kill him would make me no better then the kills who murdered my Mother. Secondly, I wouldn't know where to go if I killed Gabriel. I had no idea where I was, what the date was…anything. Part of me wanted to find that out before I tried to escape, but as I looked up at the window…well this was probably my only chance.

I stepped up onto the chair and elbowed the glass in the window. It shattered and cut open the right sleeve of my long shirt. I cringed as the glass fell around me and was about to lift myself up out of the window when I heard the basement door open. I dropped down onto my feet next to the chair, waved my hand and watched as the chair disappeared. I moved to the other side of the basement quickly and looked back at the window…shit.

"What are you doing?" Gabriel asked appearing at the bottom of the stairs. I frowned and looked at him nervously.

"I missed," I said motioning to the window.

Gabriel looked at the window and then at me. He was staring at me for a long time and I wondered if he was using Legilimency on me. Gabriel had made that part of our training very early on. Basically, he taught me to read and invade other's minds, or block people from entering them. I looked away from his eyes and looked at the window.

"What were you throwing?"

"Star," I whispered lying quickly. I blinked and made a star appear outside on the grass. Gabriel went to the window and waved his wand. The star came flying into the room and Gabriel caught it. He glanced at me and nodded his head slowly. My story was good enough for him. He then waved his wand again and the glass flew back into place.

"If I didn't know better Cadence, I'd say you were trying to escape," he said looking at me.

I smiled.

"We all make mistakes."

"You can't afford to make them," he said crossly.

"Who's Anita?" I asked.

He blinked at me and turned away. I said the Legilimency spell in my head and invaded his mind quickly. I was so fast he didn't even know I had entered his head.

"Does she know you're a Death Eater?" I whispered.

He looked at me with a smirk.

"You're getting good at that," he said, meaning my Legilimency skills. "Didn't even feel you invade my head."

"I've learned from the best."

He laughed. "You've never met your Father."

I frowned slightly. I wanted to keep it that way. He was possibly the only person I was afraid of.

"Why doesn't Anita know you're a Death Eater?"

"She works for the Ministry."

"You love her?" I asked tilting my head to the side.

"Once," Gabriel admitted. "She betrayed me."

"Then why does she still come over to your house?"

"She thinks I'm still on her side."

I frowned slightly looking at Gabriel closely. What did he mean by all of this? But this time I could not enter his head. He was ready for me.

"How'd you she betray you?" I asked folding my legs under me as I sat down on the ground. I wiped the sweat from my neck and leaned back against the wall. Gabriel remained standing, looking at the star he still held in his hand.

"She lied to me," he whispered stroking the star. "She's not who she said she was…I've learned that women are the most dangerous thing in this world."

"You fear me more then you fear my Father then?" I asked.

Gabriel looked at me with that dark seductive smile I had grown so used to.

"You could hurt me in worse ways then your Father could," he whispered. "I wouldn't say I fear you. I just know your type."

"I have a type?"

"You have breast and vagina, so yes, that makes you have a type."

I smirked a little bending my legs and putting my elbows on my knees. I ran my hand through my hair, rolled up my left sleeve and looked at the bruises on my arms, touching them softly.

"What are those from?" Gabriel asked.

"I imagine from when you grabbed me today."

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You don't make a very good Death Eater apologizing all the time," I said looking up at him. He glared at me.

"As if you know what makes a good Death Eater," he laughed a little.

"Where did you get those cuts in your shirt?" he asked referring to the cuts on my right sleeve near the elbow.

I looked at my sleeve with some surprise.

"I don't know," I said. "From falling maybe…you can get pretty rough with me Gabriel."

"You haven't seen me get rough," he said throwing the star. I tilted my head to the side and it zipped by my ear. That could have been close. I glared back at him. "There are no chairs in the basement Cadence," he said very quietly and calmly. I blinked at him.

"Okay…" I whispered a little nervous.

"Where did the chair come from and where did it go?"

"What chair Gabriel?" I asked looking at him with raised eyebrows. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"There are four impressions in the dirt under the window," he said slowly. "Would it be absurd of me to think that you were trying to escape?" He came up to me and grabbed my arms lifting me up off the ground and slamming me against the wall. I groaned in pain.

"Gabriel," I sighed. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're hurting my arms."

"I'm getting rough with you Cadence," he hissed. He threw my body onto the ground as if I were a rag doll. I rolled over onto my butt as my hip throbbed from hitting the cement. That was going to bruise badly. "How did you make the chair appear, Cadence?"

"I didn't make any chair appear."

He grabbed my ankle and dragged me towards him, once my body was close enough to him I lifted my leg and kicked him over the head. He fell to the ground near me and grabbed my wrist before I could roll away. I threw a punch at his nose but he blocked me and grabbed my wrist, holding me by both wrists. He sat up and straddled me, pinning me to the ground.

"This isn't a fight you're going to win," he said harshly. I kicked my legs around, trying to get at him but there was no way to with the way he was positioned over me. I cried in anger and he covered my mouth, releasing my hand. I bit his hand and he let go with a yell of anger and pain. "Where did the chair come from, Cadence!? Can you conjure things like your old man?"

"Conjure things?" I whispered taking a long breath. "How the hell do you conjure something?"

"I'm not a fool," he said getting up off me. "You're powerful like he is. There was a chair in this basement and you were trying to escape. You made the star appear on the lawn too. I'm sure of it."

"Gabriel," I sighed with innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly on the ground.

"Don't test me!"

"If you were going to hurt me you would have done it already!" I shouted at him.

He released me with a deadly glare and held his hand out in front of him, a long silver knife appeared in it.

"That's how you conjure things," he said. I leaned away from him, but he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me still. The tip of his knife cut down my shirt and I feared that he was going to violate me. He revealed my sports bra and bare, well toned stomach. "Don't make me cut open your belly the way I just opened your shirt."

I lifted my hand slowly and my own knife materialized in it. Before either of us said a word I made to stab him in the stomach, but he dropped his knife and grabbed my wrist, slamming it against the basement floor and making me drop my knife.

"Why did you lie to me?" he asked staring at my eyes.

"I wasn't going to tell you the truth," I snapped. He stood up and picked me up off the ground, cradling me in his arms. I struggled against him but he marched up the stairs, ignoring the attacks and hits I was throwing at him.

"Put me down you bastard! I'm not your damn toy!"

"What makes you think I would want you to be?" he questioned going up the stairs to the top floor of the house. "You need to shower. Make it quick."

"I don't want to shower."

He put me down in front of the bathroom door and I crossed my arms over my chest. He tilted my chin up at him and looked down at me with very serious eyes.

"You're such a child," he whispered shaking his head. "If you don't shower I'll take you in there myself and shower you."

I glared at him and turned slowly going into the bathroom.

"You'd get too much pleasure from that," I said before closing the door and leaning against it. My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt tears on my cheeks. I wasn't sure why I was crying and I wiped them away quickly. I had to move quickly. If Gabriel didn't hear the shower running in a minute he'd march into the bathroom and keep his word.


	13. The Cost of Temptation

It was after that day that I began to have night terrors

It was after that day that I began to have night terrors. I don't remember precisely when they started, because I never knew the date in that house, but I know they haunted me for weeks. I would wake up in cold sweats, my sheets thrown or tangled around my body, the candle on my night stand knocked over and my pillows on the ground.

They were terrifying dreams of my Father finding me and killing me, and every time I had the nightmare he killed me in a different way. He tortured me, raped me, mangled me…anything to hurt me. Sometimes I saw visions of him killing my Grandfather, Sirius, Lily, or James…and even once he killed Gabriel.

My heart was always pounding when I woke up from these nightmares. And there was nothing I could do to stop them. I was afraid to go to sleep sometimes, and I began to look drained. Gabriel noticed when we were training that I was growing weaker. He thought that I wasn't eating. It wasn't until he heard me screaming bloody murder one night that he realized I was having night terrors.

I woke that night from the terror in his arms. He was holding me and stroking my hair out of my sweat covered face. And when I looked up at him, for a moment I thought he was Sirius and everything that had happened in the last couple of months was nothing but a nightmare. But when he came into focus, my heart fell and I nearly jumped out of his arms, but he held me tight.

"What were you dreaming about?"

"Please let go of me," I asked pushing against his chest. He released me and I laid my head down on the pillow. He was sitting next to me, rubbing my back slowly. "Tonight I saw my Mother dying again; right before my eyes…and Jones…I killed him before he could kill me. Then a masked man…my Father…killing me."

"He's not going to kill you just yet Cadence."

"Oh, that's very comforting, thank you Gabriel."

"He's been checking in on us," said Gabriel. "He thinks you're training well and progressing nicely."

I sat up and looked at Gabriel sharply in the darkness.

"My Father has been here?"

Gabriel nodded his head slowly.

"He doesn't wish to be seen by you."

"Why?" I snapped. "Is he a coward to show his face to me?"

"Hardly," said Gabriel. "He just doesn't want you to know who he is."

I frowned and laid back in my bed angry.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" he whispered. "It may help you sleep?"

"I don't think sleeping next to the man who kidnapped me and is holding me captive is going to help me sleep, thanks," I said bitterly. "No one can make me feel better Gabriel. And please don't try to be my friend when you are my enemy."

"I could be your friend though Cadence, if you'd let me."

"That's the thing Gabriel, I don't want you to be my friend or protector. You are nothing to me. I don't care if you've taken care of me these last months and trained me. You are holding me against my will and keeping me from the life that I want. I can do nothing but hate you."

Gabriel said nothing for a long time. We sat in silence, then finally he spoke.

"I understand," he said. "Try and get some rest. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

He left the room and I laid awake the rest of the night until he came banging on my door the next morning. There was no use trying to sleep. Maybe if I didn't sleep he'd leave me alone and stop training me. I frowned slightly though, if I couldn't or wouldn't train, he'd have to kill me. There had not been a day since we started training that we didn't train; and the days that I complained and asked to relax he said he'd have to kill me if we didn't train. He came close a few times too. I had learned that there was no point in arguing with him.

He could tell the next morning that I hadn't slept and I noticed while training that he went surprisingly easy on me. When he had pinned me to the floor, with a sword to my neck and dropped my own blade and gasped for breath.

"Are we done?" I asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Take a break though."

"Gabriel?" I sighed as I lay on the ground.

"Yes?" he asked putting the sword back on the wall and looking at me. He looked really hot with his shirt off and his chest glistening with sweat.

"Am I ever going to meet my Father?"

"Probably not."

"Then how will I become a Death Eater?"

My eyes fell on Gabriel's forearm where his Dark Mark tattoo was. He followed my eyes and looked at the mark.

"You don't want to be a Death Eater."

"I don't think I have a choice in the matter."

He smiled a slightly. I know that's what he wanted to hear. He wanted me on his side—then we wouldn't be enemies.

"When your Father thinks it's the right time he'll come here and mark you," he said. "But you'll have to prove your loyalty to him. You can't just be branded his follower unless you really are. And if you're a traitor, a spy for the other side, he'll kill you before you get the chance to deny it. The Dark Lord is not a tolerant man."

I frowned. I didn't want to be a Death Eater and I didn't want to be a spy. I didn't even want to be Lord Voldemort's daughter because of the stigma that would follow me my whole life if anyone found out.

"Are you afraid of me because I'm his daughter?"

"Honored to have trained you," he said.

"But not afraid?"

"No," he said shaking his head and sitting down next to me. "I know I can beat you in a fight."

I smiled up at him and jumped up off the ground feet first.

"You think so?" I questioned making a whip appear in my hand. He smiled at me and jumped up taking my challenge. His own whip appeared in his hand and he snapped it at me in a teasing manner.

"Oh yea," he said raising his eyebrows.

I cracked my whip and wrapped it around his ankle, giving it a hard yank and pulling him to the ground. He retaliated with a crack and slice to my shoulder. I was wearing a tank top that morning and my skin cut open, blood leaking down my arm.

"Ouch," I said. "That wasn't very nice."

I cracked my whip again, this time at his waist and hit his belt at just the right spot, cutting the belt open and off of him. He jumped up onto his feet in a cat like position and tried to kick my feet out from under me, but I jumped over his leg and landed on him, pinning him to the ground. He threw me off of him and stood up, coming at me. I kicked him in the stomach and he groaned, grabbing his middle and dropping his whip. I kicked at his knee caps and knocked him to the ground and then crawled onto his back, swinging my whip around his neck like a noose I tightened it slowly until the only thing keeping him from choking to death was my hand.

"Tell me I won," I said in his ear. He didn't say anything and I tightened the noose around his neck.

"You won," he finally said.

"Tell me I'm the best."

"You're the best."

"And that I'm the sexiest woman you've ever had on top of you," I joked.

He looked over his shoulder at me and I laughed, letting go of the noose. I fell off of his back and dropped the whip next to me.

"I told you I could beat you," I said with a glowing smile.

He grabbed my ankle and pulled me across the ground to him, then took my hands and pulled me so I was sitting up on his lap. I smiled at him a little and felt a heat in my body that I had not felt before. I looked away from him, suddenly very uncomfortable with the position we were in.

Gabriel and I had tangled ourselves in all kinds of positions with our bodies pressed against each other. But all the other times we had always had weapons in hand, keeping our minds on our fighting and our lives rather then our bodies pressed against each other with heat, heavy breathing and sweat.

Gabriel turned my chin so I was looking at him.

"You're the sexiest woman I've ever had on top of me," he said softly and leaned forward kissing me passionately with some soft tongue. I pulled away and moved off his lap, blushing and looking away from him.

"Gabriel," I whispered digging my foot into the cement and taking slow breaths.

"Well you are," he said standing up and collecting the whips off the ground. He put them on the wall and walked by me. "You can stay down here if you want."

I didn't move as he left the basement. I laid on the ground and took a long breath once he was gone. Apparently I had taken the jokes and flirting too far while on top of him with the whip. I was down there awhile before he called down to me from the kitchen.

"Cadence," he said.

"I'm coming," I answered slowly getting up. I walked up the stairs and into the kitchen where he was waiting for me. He motioned to a plate that was sitting on the kitchen counter with food on it. I picked it up and opened the drawer under it for a fork and knife.

"Come on," he said. "I'll shower while you eat in your room."

I nodded and walked up the stairs in front of him. I stopped at the top of the stairs in front of him, for the first time he was eye level with me because he was standing a few steps below me.

"Gabriel," I said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you kiss me."

"I wanted to."

"I shouldn't have been flirting."

"You wanted me too."

"I was teasing you and leading you on—wait, what?"

He smiled at me.

"Go eat your dinner, Cadence," he said. "I want to take a shower."

"What if I'm not hungry?"

"Then you can sit in your room."

"What if I want to shower?"

"You'll have to wait until I'm done," he said. "Keep moving, Cadence."

He said slapping my thing playfully. I turned slowly and walked down the hall, stopping in front of my room where he opened the door for me. Before I walked into it, he grabbed my waist, wrapping his arm tightly around me and pressing his body against my back.

"Can you feel what you do to me?" he asked hotly in my ear.

I looked over my shoulder up at him and he kissed me full on the mouth, passionately and hotly—I had never been kissed like that before. It was hot and sexy and I knew he was full of lust and sexual desire. His hand ran over my stomach and moved to my thighs, rubbing them softly and stroking his fingers on the inside of my thighs in a teasing manner.

"I'm really very hungry," I said to him.

"So am I," he said in a husky voice. "But not for food."

His other hand squeezed the back of my thigh and ran up the back of my body, under my shirt and to the front of me, caressing my breast softly.

"You tempt me every day," he whispered. "And today, I was close to giving in."

His hands left my body quickly and I was suddenly cold with out his touch. I turned and looked at him, my hands shaking with my plate of food. I was hot and turned on now…he was playing a dirty game that way.

"I'm going to shower," he whispered. "Good night Cadence. You can shower in the morning."

"Take a cold one," I said with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

He grabbed my ass and brought me against him tightly. I could feel a hardness against my thigh and hip and I smirked up at him.

"A very cold one."

"Or a hot one, with you," he said kissing my neck.

"Wouldn't want to give into temptation, now would we," I said pulling out of his arms and going into my room. I kicked the bedroom door shut with my foot and walked to my bed quickly. I needed to sit down.

Gabriel didn't make a pass at me again, but I didn't give him reason to. I was thinking about Sirius that evening after we had kissed and I couldn't help feeling like I had betrayed him. My heart beat fast though wondering if perhaps he had given up on me though. It had to have been at least four months now since I went missing. I wouldn't want him to wait around for me…for all he knew I could very well be dead.

I had nightmares after that of Sirius killing Gabriel and I as we made love. I had a very guilty conscious it appeared. I wanted Sirius to have moved on that way I didn't feel as guilty, but there was no way of telling if he had moved on or not. And there was no way of telling him how guilty I felt. I wanted to talk to him…he would comfort me, even if I didn't tell him what was wrong. Did that make me a bad person? I had made out with another man, and now I was taking advantage of Sirius in a matter of speaking…had I always taken advantage of him? Or was it okay because he should have moved on by now. Who could possibly expect him to wait for me?

* * *

There was a loud banging on my bedroom door and I sat up slowly from under the sheets.

"Are you dressed?" asked Gabriel's voice through the door.

But before I could answer he opened the door, staying in the door frame he looked at me.

"Come on, get up."

"Will you let me get dressed?"

"No," he smirked. "Come on, breakfast downstairs this morning."

I looked at him oddly.

"What?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

"Downstairs, food, now," he said. "Let's go…"

I stood up and walked out of the room in the shorts and tank top that he had provided for me the second week I was with him. He followed me downstairs and into the kitchen and told me to sit down. I sat down, leaning on my hand and closing my eyes because I was still tired. He placed a plate of food in front of me and I looked at him oddly. We never ate in the kitchen…let alone anywhere other then my bedroom. I was lucky if I even ate with Gabriel.

It had been a week since Anita had come to visit and I was still curious about her. But what was more curious that morning was Gabriel letting me eat breakfast in the kitchen with him…like a real person and not his prisoner.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he poured me some juice.

"I thought you might like to eat down here for a change, but please, be my guest and go back upstairs if you'd rather," he said. I made to stand and take my plate with me. "Leave the food though."

I frowned. So it was all or nothing.

"Sit," he said pointing to my chair.

"I'm not a dog you know," I said sitting back down and beginning to eat. He sat next to me and helped himself to his own plate of flat cakes.

"I'm very well aware that you are not a dog," he said. "A pussy cat perhaps…but not a dog."

I glared at him and put more food in my mouth so I didn't have to talk to him.

"You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend," he whispered opening a newspaper that was on the kitchen counter. "With how long we've been together Cadence I thought you would have at least mentioned Sirius."

"Excuse me?" I coughed on the flat cake in my mouth and looked at Gabriel with large eyes. He moved the paper in front of me and pointed to the picture of my Grandfather and Dumbledore on the front page. I frowned deeply and picked it up looking at it, and looking at the date. May 23rd. I had been with Gabriel for three months now, I didn't seem like that long…I frowned slightly, but at the same time it felt like eternity.

The bold headline read: Hogwarts Student Missing for Five Months, Not Giving Up Hope. The article in the paper was talking about me and how my Grandfather, Dumbledore, my friends and my boyfriend (pictured on page A21) were all hoping for me to return soon. My heart lifted slightly. Sirius was still calling himself my boyfriend, he hadn't moved on to the next girl and I wasn't just a notch in his bedpost. He stilled cared about me.

Then my heart fell. He was still waiting for me…hoping I was safe and would come back to him soon and look at what I had done a few weeks ago. I tried to calm myself down by saying that it was Gabriel who had been making out with me…he had initiated the kissing and touching and rubbing, but that didn't help. I still let him touch me and kiss me and rub up against me.

"Sirius Black none the less," said Gabriel slowly sipping his coffee. "Good pure blood family…your Father would approve of him if he were a Death Eater."

I looked up at Gabriel with a frown.

"My Father doesn't believe in love," I said putting down the paper. "Why didn't you tell me I was here for nearly five months?"

"You never asked," he shrugged.

"Why are you showing me this?" I asked looking at the picture of my Grandfather and Dumbledore. I turned the pages to see the picture of Sirius and my heart melted at the sight of him. He was sitting in a Gryffindor common room arm chair, with Lily, James, Remus and Peter around him. I felt tears in my eyes as I reached out and touched his picture softly. He was shaking his head and pushing his black hair out of his face. Lily had tears on her cheeks and I caught a glimpse of James squeezing her hand. Had my kidnapping brought them together?

My tears were running down my cheeks and I coughed lightly, closing the paper on Sirius's face. It would be easier to be away from him if I didn't see him. I closed my eyes tight…I wanted him to hold me so bad.

I felt Gabriel's hand on my cheeks rubbing my tears away and I jerked away from him.

"Don't touch me," I whispered. I could barely speak. I looked at Gabriel with a glare and saw the sadness in his eyes. "Are you showing this to torture me? To make me cry?"

"No," he shook his head. "He's a handsome kid."

"Are you jealous of him?" I glared at Gabriel with anger. This was just a sick game to him. He liked toying with my emotions, making me break down and building me back up. I knew he did.

"What is there to be jealous of?" asked Gabriel. "You're here with me, whether you like it or not. I would not give anything to be in Sirius's shoes right now."

"Anita is a muggle born, isn't she?" I said getting into his head before he could stop me, let alone know I was in there. Gabriel looked at me sharply and picked up the paper. "That's how she betrayed you. She said she was a pure blood and after all the time you were together she turned out to be a pure blood. You are jealous of Sirius because he has me and you don't—"

Gabriel stood up and took my plate from me, throwing it into the sink. The plates shattered and I stopped dead in silence.

"You know nothing! And from what I can see Sirius doesn't have you at all!" Gabriel yelled. He was looking at me with anger, but beyond the anger I saw passion. He had feelings for me, whether it be caring, liking, loving or lusting. He felt _something_ for me that made him not want to hurt me. I glared back at him and stood up.

"If you care about me Gabriel let me go!"

"I can't let you go, Cadence," he said looking at me sharply and leaning against the counter. "It isn't that simple."

"It doesn't have to be complicated," I snapped. "Unlock the damn door and let me out!"

"I'm not in the mood to die today," he said glaring at me. I grabbed his hands.

"Then come with me," I said quickly. "We can leave, Dumbledore will protect you…please Gabriel. Let me go…you can't keep me here forever and I will never be a Death Eater. You know that. I know you do."

"I'm not the one who makes the decisions of when or where you go," he said softly.

"What?" I whispered.

"You haven't gone anywhere because your Father doesn't want you to," Gabriel said stroking my cheek. "Cadence, I've been trying to get rid of you for weeks now. I don't want you here because the longer you're here the more I want you…I can't have that. Your Father would kill me if he knew what happened a few weeks ago. He would see the weakness in me and kill both of us no doubt. Death is the cost of temptation."

"But you didn't give into it," I whispered.

"I wanted to," he said back.

I let go of his hand and took a step back, leaning against the counter. He really did have feelings for me.

"Your Father won't have you anywhere but here."

"He knows you're the best then," I whispered with a forced smile. "He wants me trained by the best."

Gabriel's eyes were deep and seductive. I don't know how I had lasted so long and not kissed him. He was sexy, strong and attractive. His voice was calming, yet stern and his hands were big and tough. I had dreams where I was wrapped in his strong muscular arms, but those were only dreams and I hardly thought of them in reality.

I touched Gabriel's chin as I looked in his eyes and I saw the darkness that made me want to turn away and not know him. He was a Death Eater, like my Mother. He was a murderer. He was _everything_ that I hated and never wanted to be.

"The only way for you to leave here with out your Father's knowing is if you kill me," whispered Gabriel close to my ear. His hands were on my hips now. I hadn't noticed him moving closer to me until he was already close and there was no where for me to go. I was trapped in his arms (and part of me wanted that desperately because he was older, big, strong, mysterious and dangerous). "And I know you can't kill me Cadence."

"I could if I had too," I whispered with a shaky voice even though I was very unsure if I could in fact kill him. He was close enough to hear my words loud and clear. He tilted my chin up and pulled it closer to him, kissing me delicately on the lips.

"You have to," he said pulling away from my lips for breath. He wrapped me completely in his arms and kissed me even more deeply. I had never been kissed by a man in that way. Sirius's kisses were more tender and deep, loving. Gabriel's…his were dripping with passion, wanting more then just my mouth. He wanted every inch of my body and made me feel like I was wanted, needed, and beautiful.

His hand took mine and a dagger appeared in it. He held the dagger against my palm until my hand took it, then wrapped his around my wrist, his other arm still wrapped tightly around me. His eyes were looking directly at mine.

"We don't have to do this," I whispered quickly, losing my nerve before I had even gotten a hold of it. My hand was shaking now. How could I kill Gabriel, the man who had protected me, taught me and cared for me the last five months? It didn't matter that he was my enemy and he had kidnapped me, ruined five months of my life, and kept me away from my family, friends and Sirius. The fact of the matter was that Gabriel was a human being, just like me…just like my Mother and I was not a Death Eater who would slaughter him.

"We have no choice," he said. "I am not one to run, and I will not go into hiding under Dumbledore's protection. This is the only way."

"No," I said quickly trying to pull my hand out of his. "No, Gabriel, I won't do it. I can't kill you." He was right…I knew he was. I couldn't kill him, even though I said I could if I had too. He knew me well. He knew my type.

"I know," he said tightening his grip on me. "This is for you Cadence. It's the only way. The front door is unlocked. Take the cloak in the front closet, make sure you change your clothes before you leave. Get as far as you can as fast as you can."

"No. Gabriel. Please…don't make me do this."

"Your Father is coming for you today."

"Then I will be gone and you won't have to deal with me—"

"Cadence," he said sternly tilting my chin up to look at him. "You are not meant to be a Death Eater. Your strength is not that of evil…you are not your Father's daughter. You are a good person and I can't contain you. I won't let your Father break or destroy you. Your goodness is what makes me want you so bad and I won't let him destroy that. If I just let you go he will kill me. I would rather die by your hand then his."

"Gabriel," I sighed with tears running down my cheeks. "I won't kill you—"

His hand pulled my hand against his body and the dagger sunk into his stomach. I screamed and released the dagger taking a step back. Gabriel fell against the counter and held his stomach, pulling the dagger from him and dropping it to the ground.

"Gabriel," I cried holding him as he fell to the ground. I fell with him, leaning against the counter as he bleed onto me and the kitchen floor. "You bastard!"

"Change your clothes," he sighed with a slow breath. "The cloak is in the closet by the door. Your wand in the drawer of my nightstand…clothes for you in my closet."

I glared at him.

"I hate you," I said sobbing and shaking my head. "I hate you."

"Shut up," he said. "Go. Your Father is coming and I don't know when."

"Gabriel, I won't leave you here like this."

Gabriel picked up the knife and held it over his heart.

"I'll stab myself again if you don't go."

I glared into his eyes and knew he was telling the truth. I leaned forward against his bleeding body and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Thank you for everything you have done," I whispered. "I owe you my life."

He said nothing and I got up, moving quickly through the kitchen to go upstairs and change my clothes like he had told me too. I found a pair of black pants, a red blouse, and a black corset top in his closet. I put them on quickly and found a pair of boots also, zipping up to my knee. I grabbed my wand from his night stand drawer and paused for a moment at a gold chain that had a small charm with an angel engraved on it. It read St. Gabriel on it. I picked up the chain and put it over my head, the charm resting on my bosom. I owed Gabriel my life and I would never forget him.

I dashed down the stairs to the entrance hall. The front closet had a few cloaks in it, there was a black velvet one in it that I snatched and wrapped around me, tying it as I head for the front door. I stopped for a moment. I should probably take some weapons with me for the journey. I had no idea how long it would take me to get back to Hogwarts, nor did I know where I was or who I would face. Gabriel would be ashamed of me if I didn't take some blades with me.

I returned to the kitchen and glanced at Gabriel's body, I didn't see him breathing and looked away quickly so not to cry. I went downstairs, leaving the door open a little, and moved around looking for what weapons I wanted to take with me. I put two knives in my boots, a holster on my arms and then long curved blades against my back in the holster, under my cloak. I retied the cloak and froze on the spot, mid-tie. Someone was moving upstairs. I had heard a floor board creek…or was I just becoming paranoid?

No…I wasn't paranoid there was definitely someone upstairs. I could hear them moving around. I took my wand from the pocket inside my cloak and slowly moved up the stairs. I stopped at the top one, and looked through the inch of space between the door and the frame. I saw the back of a cloaked figure. The hood of their cloak was up and their white hand was out to the side, skinny long fingers gripping a long wand. The man was looking down at Gabriel's body.

"You were supposed to be the best," he said in a deep dark voice that sent shivers up my spine. "Well, second best to me. I suppose the student has surpassed the master." He kicked Gabriel's boot and Gabriel didn't move. "No matter. You would have died anyways no doubt."

The man stood up straight and I knew in my gut it was my Father. Lord Voldemort stood a few feet away in a kitchen, insulting the man who had saved my life. I wanted to kill him. My blood was boiling with rage and it took all of my strength to remain behind the basement door, hidden. I watched as my Father turned and left the kitchen, I moved forward very slowly and listened as he went upstairs. I quickly and quietly moved through the kitchen, trying not to look at Gabriel, and went down the hall to the front door. I opened it slowly and slipped out, closing it behind me.

I breathed in fresh cool air for the first time in five months. The sun was shining down on me and the peaceful looking neighborhood, but there was no time to savor the moment. I had to run. And I did.


	14. Two Confessions

I ran for a long time

I ran for a long time. I'm sure lots of people looked at me like I was crazy. How often did you see an American girl running down the town streets dressed in a corset and cloak? I looked like I belonged in Transylvania to Muggles, to any witch or wizard I looked normal except for the fact that I was in front of a bunch of Muggles in Wizarding clothes. In the town that Gabriel's neighborhood had been in, I managed to buy a bus ticket to London. From there I was sure I could find Diagon Alley, and hopefully be able to find a way back to Hogwarts. I had to do it fast too, so my Father would not find me.

It took me awhile to locate the Leaky Caldron in London, about a whole day to be exact. I had wondered most of the area for the day looking for it and it jumped out at me when I saw a hag crossing the street heading for it. I followed her in quickly and went straight to the bar.

"Can I help you miss?"

"Can I have some water?"

He nodded and poured me a glass of water with his wand and then handed it to me. I thanked him and drank it quickly.

"Also, do you have an owl? I need to send an urgent message."

"Who would you be sending it to?"

I looked at him sharply very unsure if I could trust him. The last person I thought I could trust ended up being a Death Eater disguised as my Grandfather. I frowned slightly.

"That's my business."

"Not if it's my owl," he said.

I frowned again and leaned forward.

"I'm writing to Albus Dumbledore."

The man looked me over and nodded. He gave me a piece of parchment and a pen and waited while I wrote out a note.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore, _

_I'm at the Leaky Caldron, please come and get me. Now. I'm afraid my Father is coming after me. I'll explain everything. Please. Come quickly. _

_ Cadence Coleman. _

I rolled the letter up and tapped it with my wand, sealing it with wax. The bartender had his owl ready and I tied it to the black barn owl's leg. It soared off to the door that had just opened and disappeared into the growing London night.

"Can I have a room for awhile?" I asked.

The man nodded and told me to follow him. He led me upstairs to room number seven and opened the door for me. I thanked him and went into the room, making sure the door was closed tightly behind me. I sat on the bed, exhausted, but had no means to sleep. I didn't want to close my eyes until I was back at Hogwarts, safe from my Father and any other Death Eaters that may be hunting me.

I nearly jumped when a peaking was heard at my window two hours later. I moved quickly to it and opened it, letting the black barn owl soar into the room, drop a letter on the bed, and then soar right back out. I didn't bother to close the window. I snatched up the letter and unrolled it, looking at the crisp small handwriting.

_Cadence, _

_It is so good to hear from you. I will be arriving at the Leaky Caldron shortly. Ask me a question before you allow me to see you…a question that only I would know the answer to. You have to be careful with who you allow near you. _

_ Albus Dumbledore_

A question that only he would know the answer to? I frowned slightly and sat on the bed. What could I very well ask him when I barely knew the man? I jumped and dropped the letter when a knock came on the room door. I went to the door quickly and grabbed the handle then stopped.

"Who is it?" I asked holding my wand in my other hand.

"Albus Dumbledore, Head Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," said the familiar voice of Dumbledore. I paused for a moment. "What is Cadence's middle name?"

"Jasmine," I said to him.

"Now you ask your question."

"What did I speak to you about in your office the last time I saw you?"

"Mental powers," he said.

I opened the door. Dumbledore and Sirius were the only ones who I had spoken to about my mental powers, and only Dumbledore, Sirius and Lily knew I had gone to his office back in the beginning of school to speak of him about it.

Before I could stop myself I threw my arms around Dumbledore and hugged him tightly. He embraced me with his thin arms, with surprisingly more strength then would be expected from a skinny older man like himself.

"My dear Miss Coleman," he said smiling down at me. "You've changed dramatically."

"You have no idea," I said. "Please, can we go somewhere safe? Can we go to Hogwarts?"

"Of course," said Dumbledore. "Right away."

He came into the room and closed the door.

"Well Apparate," he said. "It's the fastest and safest way to get there. Take my arm, and hold on tight."

I looked at him nervously.

"Come on," he said motioning for me to come close to him. "Hold on."

I took hold of his arm and closed my eyes tightly. I didn't like Apparation. It made me sick to my stomach. I felt that familiar pull on my body and pressure from all sides. My body hurt all over and when all the tension was released, my legs hit the ground, my knees buckled and I fell over into the dirt. Dumbledore helped me up quickly.

"Where are we?" I asked looking around quickly.

"Hogsmeade," he said. "There is no Apparation on school grounds. Come on, through the gates."

I looked up at the castle that was in the distance, just up the hill and dirt path and felt my lips spread into a smile. Sirius was in there waiting for me. Everyone was waiting for me. I would be safe there, warm and happy. I was starving.

We entered the school and some students stopped in the entrance hall, looking at us. I could feel their eyes on me. No doubt everyone knew who I was now: Cadence Coleman, the girl who was kidnapped and missing for five months.

"Where have you been all this time?" Dumbledore asked once we were up the marble stairs.

"A little town south of London, I don't know it's name."

He nodded.

"Did you ever see—"

"No," I shook my head. "I never saw him. He was coming to collect me two days ago, but Gabriel let me escape."

"Gabriel?" he asked looking at me with raised eyebrows. I looked up at him and was about to speak but he raised his hand to silence me. "This is a topic that should be discussed in the privacy of my office."

We were silent the rest of the quick walk up to his office. As we walked through the corridors and staircases everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me. I was surprised there were so many people still awake. It was nearly ten o'clock at night. The sixth and seventh years were the only ones with that late of a curfew.

Dumbledore opened his office door for me at the top of his rotating stairs and allowed me to enter. I pulled off my cloak and threw it on the back of a chair in front of his desk and sat down. He made a pot of tea appear and some biscuits.

"Or are you hungry for something more?" he asked.

"I'm starving," I sighed.

He nodded and waved his wand again, this time a fine dinner appeared on his desk and I dug in. Dumbledore waited patiently for me to finish my meal before asking me to speak about my experience over the last five months. I was full to the brim after eating, and leaned back in my chair, pulling my feet up so my chin rested on my knees.

"You are well?" he whispered.

"Yes," I nodded. "Yes…a little shaken, but alright."

"Who is Gabriel?"

"The man who kidnapped me," I whispered. "He was disguised as my Grandfather on the platform. He picked me up…and when I realized it wasn't him he knocked me unconscious in the Muggle parking lot. I don't know what happened to Demetrius."

"He found Sirius," said Dumbledore softly. "Who has been taking care of him since."

I smiled.

"When can I see him?"

"Demetrius or Sirius?"

"Sirius," I said quickly.

"I've sent Professor McGonagall a note asking that she wake Sirius and bring him to my office, but I would like you to finish your story before he arrives."

I nodded.

"Gabriel started off treating me cruelly," I said. "He had to train me. My Father wanted me trained to be a good Death Eater, otherwise I was to die. Gabriel trained me how to use my body as a weapon, and use other weapons." I pulled the blades from my holsters and boots and placed them on Dumbledore's desk. "These were his. I took them before I left."

"How did you escape?"

"Two days ago Gabriel woke me and allowed me to eat breakfast with him in the kitchen, which was highly unusually," I said. "He would usually wake me and leave my breakfast in my room and return a few hours later to start our exercises for the day. While we were eating he showed me the paper with you and Grandfather on the front page, asked about Sirius. Professor, he cared about me a great deal…and he wanted to let me go. He seemed to think the only way for me to get away safely was for me to kill him, which I could never do even though he had been training me to kill these last months." I stopped and stared into the fire that was burning in the grate.

"Yes, Cadence," Dumbledore prompted me.

"I had to kill him…he held my hand and forced the knife I was holding into his stomach," I wiped my cheeks quickly. "I'm not even sure if I had killed him…but I let him die so it doesn't matter. I didn't want to. I begged him to come with me…I knew you'd help him…but he didn't want to. He said he'd rather die by my hand then Voldemort's.

"He told me he had clothes for me, where he had kept my wand all that time, and that I should take a cloak for traveling. He left the front door unlocked so I could get out. I took these weapons just in case I needed them."

I fell silent staring at the blades on Dumbledore's desk. I rubbed my head and put my feet down on the floor.

"I've been focusing on getting back here so much I haven't had time to think about anything that has happened," I whispered. "I didn't want to let Gabriel die…I wish I could have saved him. As much as I hated him he took care of me these last five months and taught me how to take care of myself. He saved my life..." My voice trailed off and I looked back at the fire.

Dumbledore didn't say anything. He sipped his tea and let me think, which I appreciated. I didn't want him telling me it was okay, and I did the right thing. Because I hadn't. I had come close to having feelings for Gabriel, I had kissed him, held him, let him touch, hold and kiss me…while Sirius waited patiently and nervously for my return.

"I don't want anyone to know what has happened to me," I whispered. "I don't want anyone to know about Gabriel."

"What do you plan to tell Sirius?" Dumbledore asked.

"I'll tell him I was kidnapped and forced to train as a Death Eater," I said. "It's the truth." I blinked and looked away from Dumbledore.

"Professor," I whispered. "Gabriel taught me Legilimency and Occlumency."

"They are useful skills," said Dumbledore. "And I wouldn't be surprised if you mastered them in the short time you had with Gabriel. Your Father is very accomplished with Legilimency."

"Is he?" I asked.

Dumbledore nodded.

"I don't want to be like him."

"You aren't, Cadence," he said. "By not wanting to kill Gabriel you proved that. He killed himself to save you. You didn't have anything to do with it."

"I let him die."

"I'm sure you did everything in your power to prevent it."

But had I?

There was a knock at the office door and I stood up as Dumbledore did and allowed the person entrance. Sirius entered the room in his pajama pants and robe. I could see his muscular chest a little, his shaggy black hair was falling in front of his dark blue almost black eyes and I felt my heart lift and my stomach get butterflies.

"Cadence," he breathed and moved towards me slowly as if I were something out of a dream. I moved towards him and when we met he touched my cheek lightly, stroking my pale skin. "Oh thank god." He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly against him, and I embraced him in return as tears flooded my eyes.

"I've missed you," I whispered against his chest. He looked down at me and tilted my chin up to look at him.

"I know what you mean."

He kissed me deeply and squeezed me tight.

"Look at you," he said taking a step back and looking me up and down. "What have you been doing all this time?"

"Training to be a Death Eater," I sighed.

"What?" questioned Sirius holding my shoulders. "Did they hurt you?"

I laughed a little.

"Yes, he hurt me Sirius," I said turning away and sitting back down. "He hurt me and made me stronger. I don't think anything could hurt me now he hurt me so bad."

Dumbledore was watching me with steady eyes and I tried to pretend he wasn't staring at me. His blue eyes were making me feel see through.

"It was train or die, I chose to learn from Gabriel," I said looking at Sirius. "The man holding me captive. I figured even if he meant for me to use the things he was teaching me for evil I could use them for good."

"How'd you escape?" Sirius asked sitting down.

I blinked and looked into the fire.

"I managed to beat Gabriel in a fight in the kitchen and was able to run," I whispered.

"Did you kill him?" Sirius asked slowly. I looked up at Sirius and saw in his eyes burning fury and passion. He wanted to hurt Gabriel. He wanted the man who had hurt me to suffer.

I nodded my head. I don't know why I did. I didn't want to be responsible for Gabriel's death, but at the same time I thought I should be held responsible. I was holding the blade, and even if he pushed it into his own body I could have saved him, but I didn't.

"I left him for dead," I whispered.

Sirius reached out and squeezed my hand, not speaking at all.

"It's alright Cadence," he finally said. "You did what you had to do."

"I think you should spend the night in the hospital wing tonight, Miss Coleman," said Dumbledore softly. I looked at him and frowned slightly. "That way you're not surrounded by questioning students. Rumors of your return will no doubt be spread by morning."

I nodded.

"That will be fine," I blinked for a few moments and looked back up at Dumbledore. "What about my Grandfather?"

Dumbledore's face fell a little and Sirius squeezed my hand more tightly.

"Your Grandfather was found dead yesterday morning," he whispered.

My mouth opened but no words came out.

"He was killed by Death Eaters," Dumbledore continued. "The Dark Mark was flying over his house. Cadence, I'm very sorry."

I didn't know what to say. Death Eaters had killed my Grandfather a day after I escaped. I sighed and rubbed my head. It was my fault he died. Gabriel had said they'd been watching my Grandfather, they knew where he was and when I escaped they went to him first. He obviously didn't know where I was…they found no use of him then. I shook my head. I may have hated the man but I would never wish him death.

I stood up, picking up the plate I had eaten off and threw it into the fire as I screamed.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled with tears in my eyes.

"Cadence," said Sirius slowly as he stood up.

I sighed and looked at him with exhausted eyes.

"Come on," he whispered. "I'll take you to the hospital wing."

I didn't say anything, feeling indifferent to anything and everything that happened. Sirius escorted me to the hospital wing where he sat next to my bed the whole night. I didn't say anything; I just lay there with my eyes wide open, staring at him. He had a soft smile on his face. He was happy I was back, and that I was safe.

I had forgotten how handsome he was. His dark eyes were memorizing, deep and passionate…darker then I had remembered but filled with the same emotion. He had perfect features, a strong muscular body, and big hands—the kind of strong hands most girls dreamed about.

"How could you wait for me?" I whispered with a smile. "I bet you had girls throwing themselves at you."

"If I did I didn't notice," he said reaching out and stroking my hair softly. "I only want you to throw yourself at me."

"I would never do that," I smirked. He smiled and leaned in to kiss me as I lay on the bed. His lips touched mine and we kissed each other deeply. I wrapped my arm around him and he put one knee on the bed, between my thighs.

"Even if you don't, you're the only one I want to."

I smiled against him.

"I was afraid you would move on and forget me."

"How could I forget you?" he whispered. "I was afraid you were dead."

"I feared that too sometimes," I said. He touched my cheek with his thumb and looked into my eyes.

"I was angry with myself for letting you walk away with that bastard. I was angry that I couldn't protect you like I said I would."

"You are not to blame Sirius," I said as he laid down next to me on his stomach. "No one is to blame."

"Except the Death Eater who took you."

"Even he is not," I sighed. "My Father told him what to do. If anyone is to blame it is my Father."

"Your Father has that kind of power?"

I glanced at Sirius. Perhaps it was time to tell him. He was obviously faithful to me, and he cared about me. Maybe if I told him that my Father was Lord Voldemort then the burden of my secret wouldn't be so heavy to carry, I would be sharing it…but should I be sharing it at all? It was a great deal to ask Sirius to help carry my burden, and I didn't know if I could do that to him.

"What are you thinking?" he said kissing my shoulder. "I see that mystery in your eyes, and I can see that you're deep in thought. What's the matter?"

I sat up on my elbows and looked at Sirius quite seriously.

"Sirius," I said slowly. "My Father is Lord Voldemort."

There it was out and done with. He knew.

He was staring at me with raised eyebrows.

"Cadence," he said sitting up and cupping my cheeks. "How is that possible?"

"My Mother was a Death Eater," I shrugged. "I suppose she loved him and he tricked her into thinking he loved her. She left them when she found out she was pregnant and never told him. He knows of me now though."

"Are you in great danger because of it?"

"I wouldn't say great, just your average danger…if there is such a thing."

He kissed me slowly on the lips while holding my hands.

"I'm not going to run away from you because of who your Father or Mother were," he said. "I still want to be with you."

"That's good," I said lying back down. "I would never forgive you if you left me because my Father is a mass-murdering psycho."

Sirius shrugged.

"Well at least I know in advance that he won't like me very much," he said lying down with me. His hands rubbed up my thighs and over my stomach. "Cadence, I have something to tell you too."

I looked at him as he leaned over me on his elbow.

"What is it?"

"I realized over these last months that I've felt something I've never felt before."

"Oh?"

"Cadence, I love you."

I blinked as his words sunk into my system.

"What?" I asked in shock.

"I understand if you don't love me," he said. "And that's fine. I respect that. I just want you to know that I've never felt this way about a girl like I do about you. You're something different and special and I love you. I didn't realize it until you were gone, and I don't want to let you go again."

I stared at him for a long time.

"Sirius," I whispered with a soft smile.

"You don't have to say anything," he said touching my lips. "Just having you back is enough for me. I'm not asking for you to love me."

"Sirius—"

"I understand if it's overwhelming, I'm sorry if I've bombarded you—"

I leaned in and interrupted him with a deep, tongue-filled kiss. He moaned against me as I pressed my body against him, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. When we pulled apart I looked him in the eye with a bright smile.

"I love you too," I whispered.

He beamed and kissed me deeply, pushing me back flat on the bed with his arm under my body.


	15. Remus's Secret

Dumbledore came to see me the next morning before I had a chance to go down to breakfast. Sirius had left by the time he had arrived though, which is probably good. I didn't think it would be a good idea for the Head Master to find his students in bed together. It's not like we were doing anything besides sleeping, but still it would have been an awkward situation.

"I don't think you should return to classes," he said slowly. "You've missed all the second term, and you wouldn't be able to take the exams."

"You don't think I could take the exams in a week?"

"It's not that I don't think you'd do well," he said sitting in the chair next to my bed and putting his finger tips together. "You have not studied the last five months."

"But I have—"

He raised his hand to silence me.

"You have not studied here at Hogwarts," he said slowly. "And it would be unfair for me to allow you to take the exams unprepared as you are."

"I don't feel unprepared," I said balling my fist in my lap. "I'm sure I can take them just fine. If you're trying to protect me from my peers, please stop. I'll be fine. I can return to classes for the next week and take my exams. I'm confident I can do it."

Dumbledore looked at me for a long time before he spoke again.

"It's not that I'm trying to protect you from your peers," he whispered. "They will no doubt question you no matter what time you return to them. I advise you to tell only those you find you trust. Not everyone will understand what you went through, and not everyone will be purely empathetic to what you went through. I was trying to relieve you from the stress of exams."

"I can handle it," I said staring at him sharply. "I need to get back to normal life. This is how I'm going to. I can't sit around and think about what I went through. I thought about what I happened to me every night when I was stuck in that windowless bedroom by myself. I don't want to think about it anymore. I need to get back to life the way it was."

Dumbledore was studying me with those crystal blue eyes and I was a little unsettled. I felt see through. He was studying everything about me, what was me and what was going on in my mind. I turned my eyes away from him. I knew it was easier to use Legilimency on someone if you kept eye contact with them. Hopefully he'd stop staring me down and reading me if I broke the connection.

"Life will never be the way that it was, Cadence," he said softly. "I know you want to get back to the way it used to be, but you yourself are different now."

I frowned. I didn't like what he was telling me.

"I'm not different," I whispered even though it was a lie. I knew I was different because I felt different. My body had changed. I was stronger, leaner, and more muscular. I had never had such a toned muscular body. I still had my sweet curves, but now they could be described as bitter sweet. I had hips, breast, and thighs. I was muscle. And I felt it. I felt like a muscular killing machine. I knew how to use my body to hurt people now. I had a center of balance, I was flexible. I knew this was different. Before I was happy with my body—I was happy with the way I looked, curvy with an hour glass figure. I was better looking now, but at the same time more dangerous. I wasn't happy about that.

Before Christmas my biggest worry of the day was having to lie to Lily and Sirius, now my biggest fear was that I couldn't trust _anyone_ and that my Father was coming after me. Before Christmas I worried about what I wore, how I looked, what people thought of me…now the only thing I seemed to be worrying about was staying alive.

I sighed and looked at Dumbledore.

"At least, I wish I wasn't different," I finally admitted. He nodded.

"I know," he said understanding.

"Why does it have to be different? Why can't we just pretend it never happened?"

"Because it did happen, Cadence," he said wisely. "And it's made you into who you are today. You may not like it, and you may not like what happened, but this is your chance to use what you have learned the way that you want to. You're not an evil person. You can use your skills for good. I'm sure of it. Gabriel has molded you into someone, and what he taught you is a part of you. I know you don't like it, and I know you wish it didn't happen, but you have to face the fact that it did."

I sighed and nodded, rubbing the small tears that were running down my cheeks.

"Okay," I whispered. "Even though it's different I need to get back to life."

Dumbledore smiled a little.

"You are more stubborn then your Grandfather."

"It's a character flaw," I said sarcastically.

Dumbledore shook his head with a smile and took my hand, squeezing it.

"All will be well Cadence, you have to make do with what you have."

"I will," I said softly not looking at him. "Now can I please go back to classes?"

"Tomorrow," he said. "Take today to get situated in your dormitory, and have lunch and dinner with your friends. But no classes until tomorrow."

"Thank you," I smiled. I hugged him and he wasn't expecting it. He relaxed a little and embraced me in return. "Thank you Professor."

* * *

As soon as I walked into the great hall for lunch part of me regretted wanting to return to my normal life so quickly. Dumbledore had been right—nothing was going to be the same. I was a little late because I had to go to my dormitory and get changed. (When my trunk had been found at the train station it was returned to Hogwarts). So, because I was late coming to lunch, most of the great hall noticed me walking in. This was probably the worse thing I could do…now everyone in the hall was staring at me, including the staff at the front of the room. It was incredibly embarrassing.

As I walked between the tables I heard everyone whispering quickly as I passed. Some people even pointed at me, spoke to their friends, and then looked at me again. Part of me wanted to shout at them: "Do I have something on my face? Is there something green on me? No!? Then stop staring at me!" Sirius saw me coming and stood up, waving me over. I forced a smile at him and walked over quickly, sitting down next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and smiled.

"Good to see you up and about," he said.

"Thanks," I said back.

"Hi Cadence," said Lily. "I'm so happy to see you." She took my hand and squeezed it.

"It's good to see you too Lily."

"We're all happy to see you," said Remus on the other side of me. He patted my shoulder and beamed at me. I returned his smile as Sirius began to put food on my plate.

"Sirius, I can serve myself," I said softly.

He shrugged.

"Alright," he handed me the serving spoon and I finished spooning carrots onto my plate.

"How have you all been?" I asked looking around at my friends. I noticed that Lily was not only sitting with James, Peter, Remus and Sirius, but she was sitting right next to James. I pointed at the pair of them with my fork. "Since when have you two been friendly?"

"What do you mean?" asked James looking at Lily.

"We're just more understanding of the other now," said Lily. She gave me a soft smile and looked down at her plate, beginning to eat.

"I saw the picture of you guys in the paper," I said. "You two were holding hands."

"I was comforting her," James said.

Lily was still smiling into her potatoes with a girlish grin and her cheeks were flushed a little. I smiled and nodded my head slowly at James.

"Of course," I said. I looked at Remus. "And how have you been?"

"Just fine," he shrugged. "Haven't been doing anything different."

I nodded.

"Good," I said. "There isn't really a reason to change that."

"Are you coming to the rest of classes today?" Sirius asked. I looked at him and shook my head.

"Dumbledore wanted me to take today to get comfortable in my dorm," I said. I rolled my eyes a little. "Didn't take very long…he told me I didn't have to go back to classes at all."

"And you didn't take him up on that deal?" Peter asked.

"I don't want to sit around here doing nothing," I said back. "I did enough of that the last five months already."

The table got a little quiet and I frowned, putting my head in my hand.

"So are you coming to classes tomorrow then?" Sirius asked glaring at Peter across the table. I wish he wouldn't. It wasn't Peter's fault at all. I was the one who had made the comment about the last five months; and how could I expect any of them to understand what it's like to sit around and do nothing for hours on end? They had all remained busy with their normal lives. Mine had been thrown off axis for the last five months.

"Yea," I whispered. "Tomorrow."

Sirius nodded.

"Cool," he said.

"Are you going to take finals then?" Lily asked.

I nodded and she smiled at me.

"We can study together then," she said.

"That would be cool," I said with a nod.

"You're confident you'll do well on the exams even though you've missed most of the school year?" questioned Peter. I nodded to him and caught Sirius glaring at him.

"It's fine Sirius," I whispered. "Yes, Peter. I'm sure I'll do fine. I have this week to figure everything out."

Peter nodded his head slowly.

"Well best of luck to you," he said shrugging.

Peter was a very peculiar person. He wasn't any sort of leader, or an outgoing personality. I found it difficult to believe that he was such good friends with James, Sirius and Remus. James and Sirius had completely different personalities then Peter. Perhaps that's why Peter liked having them as friends; he could live through them.

"Cadence," said Sirius.

I blinked and looked up at him.

"Yes?"

"We have to go back to class," he said. "See you at dinner?"

"Yea," I nodded. "Of course."

He beamed and kissed my cheek.

"Bye Cadence," said James and Remus.

"See you," Lily waved with a smile. I remained sitting at the Gryffindor until it was completely empty. Eventually the whole hall was empty and I was alone, except for the ghost floating in through the walls. I wasn't sure why I stayed sitting there. I suppose I felt like I didn't have anything else to do but sit and think, even though it really was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Cadence?"

I blinked and looked up at Remus who was standing on the other side of the table with his books in his arms.

"Hello Remus."

"Have you been sitting her since lunch?" he asked sitting down.

"Uh," I said. "Yea, I guess I have."

"Why?"

"Was just thinking. Didn't really have anything else to do. What are you doing here?"

"Got out of my class early."

I nodded and frowned, looking down at my hands that were crossed on the table.

"Is something wrong?" He frowned. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I mean of course there is something wrong. I would think that this is hardly a time for you to be by yourself."

"No, I actually don't mind being by myself," I said. "If it means people aren't going to ask about what I went through then I'm happy by myself. But I would rather be around people, friends. I've been alone for the last five months it seems. Gabriel wasn't very much company."

"That's the man who kidnapped you?"

I nodded.

"Well I can imagine he wouldn't be very much company."

I frowned slightly. He was though. Gabriel had taken care of me, and protected me the last five months. He had died for me…how could I say he wasn't much company?

"Yea," I whispered.

"You should have seen Sirius," whispered Remus. "I've never seen him so worried in his life."

I looked at Remus with a small smile.

"Yea? I was somewhat surprised when I saw him in the paper the other day," I said. "I was surprised that he waited."

"Why?"

I shrugged.

"I suppose as much as I wanted him to wait for me, I'd rather him move on. I lived every day thinking that I might die the next. I didn't want him to wait forever when I didn't know if I was coming home."

"But you came home, so it doesn't matter."

I nodded.

"I know."

"He's never cared about someone the way he cares about you Cadence," Remus said. "It's a big deal for Sirius. You know he's never been serious about a girl in his life."

"That's what I hear," I said softly with a smile.

"We've all missed you," he said squeezing my hand. His was clammy and cold, like he was getting ill. I looked up at him and looked at his eyes. He looked tired and worn. He stared at me and didn't realize I was entering his mind to see what was wrong. I saw flashes of Remus's childhood and an incident in a forest; a wolf was following Remus; I felt pain, fear, frustration, depression and self hate. I saw him walking out to Whomping Willow, a tree on the Hogwarts grounds, followed by Madame Pomphrey. Then a wolf running around a dark abandoned house with three other animals—a dog, stag and rat.

"Remus," I said slowly with some shock. He looked at me raised eyebrows and pulled his hand out of mine.

"When did you learn Legilimency?"

I frowned deeply.

"Gabriel taught me," I said. "Remus, I never knew. I'm sorry."

"What else did Gabriel teach you while you were alone, caught in only his company?" he asked harshly. I cringed and tried to say something.

He stood up, picking up his stuff and walked away.

"Hey Remus," said James as he, Sirius and Peter approached the Gryffindor table. Remus said nothing and moved right by the in the opposite direction. They reached me at the table and looked back at Remus.

"What's the matter?" Peter asked.

"Nothing," I sighed. Other people were walking into the hall for dinner. I frowned deeply and rubbed my hands over my head. I felt horrible. I shouldn't have used Legilimency on Remus…it just came naturally. I didn't even think before I had said the spell in my head.

"You sure?" Sirius asked looking at the entrance of the hall in Remus's direction and then back at me.

"I'll tell you later," I sighed getting up.

"You're not staying for dinner?" James asked.

"I'm not hungry."

Once in my dormitory I was able to hide behind the curtains around my bed. I laid on the pillows and blankets with my mind racing. How could I have done something so thoughtlessly like that? My heart was pounding in my chest. I had used magic on Remus to reveal his darkest secret to me. I hadn't asked before I had pried, I hadn't given him a chance to tell me on his own; I invaded his mind and took the information with out permission. I had done something horrible. I had done something my Father would have done.


	16. Enemies Who Were Once Friends

"Hey, Cadence," said Lily coming over to my bedroom and standing near the curtains

"Hey, Cadence," said Lily coming over to my bedroom and standing near the curtains. She didn't pull them back. I knew she was checking to see if I was awake. I sat up slowly and pulled back a curtain to look at her. She smiled at me with some relief. "Sirius is looking for you."

"I don't really want to talk to anyone."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I sighed. "Did Sirius say what he wanted to talk about?"

"Said you had something to tell him."

"Right," I got out of the bed and stretched my arms. "Thanks Lily."

"Cadence," she said. I stopped and looked at her. "I'm really happy you're back. I didn't really realize how close we were till you were gone. I missed having my best friend around."

I beamed and went to Lily, hugging her tight in my arms.

"I missed you too," I said as she hugged me in return.

"You're not going to leave me hanging now, are you?" she asked smiling at me.

"No, of course not," I said as I shook my head. "Let me go talk to Sirius and then we can talk."

"Alright," she nodded. "He's in the common room by the fire."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll be back."

Lily nodded and took a seat on her bed, as she opened her trunk and began to pull out her books. I left the dormitory and made my way downstairs to the common room where the fire was burning bright in the grate. There was hardly anyone in the room and Sirius was sitting next to the fire with books in front of him. I tried not to laugh as I approached the table. The idea of Sirius studying was amusing.

"Is this a joke?" I said motioning to the books in front of him. He looked up at me and then down at the books.

"No," he said slowly sitting back in his chair.

"Oh," I said looking at the books and papers as I stood next to him. "Well, since when do you study?"

"Since Christmas," he said. "I had to distract myself as best as I could."

"Well can I distract you now?" I sat down on his lap slowly and kissed his cheek.

"You're going to distract me with a kiss on the cheek? That's not very much of a distraction."

"And what would be?" I asked. His hands rubbed up and down my back and rested on the back of my hips.

"Your lips," he whispered close to me. "On mine."

I laughed a little and kissed him gently.

"Lily said you wanted to talk to me?" I whispered putting my hands on his shoulders and leaning back.

"What happened today before dinner?"

"Oh," I frowned slightly. I looked around the room as some second year boys walked by on their way to their dormitory. "Nothing."

"Nothing doesn't upset Remus," said Sirius slowly tracing his fingers over my bare arms.

"We were just talking…and I…I know that he's a," I paused and looked around. "A werewolf," I whispered very quietly. Sirius looked at me seriously and frowned.

"Did you say something about it to upset him?" he asked.

"No," I said quickly. "I didn't say anything. I just…well I used Legilimency on him—with out realizing—and that's how I found out."

Sirius's eyes opened wide and he looked bewildered.

"How do you know Legilimency?"

"Gabriel taught me," I said looking down at my hands that were resting behind. "I didn't mean to use it on him. I didn't even realize I was doing it until after it happened."

"Gabriel?"

"The man who held me captive," I sighed.

"What else did he teach you?"

I looked at Sirius's face and frowned.

"Remus asked me the same thing."

"I'm just curious," he whispered.

"Curious that I've been trained to be a Death Eater."

"Legilimency isn't Dark Magic, Cadence."

"But it's used for dark magic."

"So are wand," Sirius said softly. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I used it in a horrible way," I said. "I didn't control it and I entered his mind. I _invaded_ his mind."

"Cadence," he held my cheeks. "I don't think you did it on purpose. I don't think you're evil. I don't think you used it with the intention of hurting Remus. I do think you need to speak to him about it."

"He didn't give me the chance to apologize. He asked what kind of stuff Gabriel had taught me…I just felt horrible Sirius."

"That's why I think you need to talk to him. Remus will cool down by tomorrow and you can apologize to him. He knows you're not a bad person Cadence," Sirius whispered.

"I'm not so sure," I sighed back.

"Hey," he said looking me in the eye. "You're not a bad person. You're a good person. You are not evil; you did not give into Gabriel or your Father, you escaped and overcame them."

I frowned slightly. Gabriel had let me go because of my goodness. He knew that I would never be a Death Eater, or a murderer, and he didn't want my Father to break my goodness.

"I know," I said. "I'm just not so sure if Remus sees it that way."

"He has to," Sirius shrugged. "Because you're not evil. Just apologize. You didn't mean it and it's not like you're going to go around telling everyone what he is."

I nodded.

"I love you Cadence."

I looked at him and smiled, leaning in to kiss him.

"I know," I whispered against his lips. "I love you too."

I left him a few minutes later to finish up his homework, and returned to the empty dormitory where Lily was sitting on her bed, crossed legged with her books in front of her. Part of me felt a little behind. Everyone seemed to be studying for final exams already.

I sat down on the foot of her bed and she smiled at me.

"Are you happy to be going back to classes tomorrow?"

"I'm starting to wonder if I should have taken Dumbledore's offer about exams," I sighed picking up on of the pieces of parchment she had spread out with a diagram of some numbers and funky symbols on it. "Ancient ruins?" I questioned looking up at her.

She nodded her head.

"So far it's been the hardest to study for," she said with a small shrug. "I've accepted that it's probably going to be my worse exam."

"I'm sure you'll do fine on it. Everything else seems reasonable?"

She nodded.

"But Cadence, I've been studying all term," she whispered. "Are you sure you'll be able to do this in the next week?"

I shrugged and looked at her potions notes. Professor Slughorn liked me enough, I was sure he would be lenient with my grades. Plus, he was a good friend of my Grandfathers.

"Yea," I nodded with a reassuring tone. I wasn't sure if I was saying it to reassure myself or her. She was looking at me with mild concern and I frowned, looking more closely at the potions notes. "I suppose I should start by copying your notes."

Lily agreed.

"I can make a copy for you right quick," she said picking up her wand from next to her.

I shook my head. "It's okay; I need to write it all out to remember it."

I held out my hand, a notebook and quill appeared on my open palm. She jumped a little and let out a small gasp of shock.

"Jeez," she said holding her chest. "You just conjured that out of nowhere?"

I nodded slowly.

"So you do have strong mental powers?"

I nodded my head again as I opened the notebook and looked over her notes. I needed a bottle of ink. It appeared next to my notebook on her bed and I smiled a little. I was getting better at conjuring things then even I realized.

"And you learned how to control them better while you were gone?"

"Gabriel taught me," I whispered. "Yes."

"Gabriel?" she repeated. "The man who kidnapped you?"

"Yes," I said. "He kidnapped me and held me captive."

"Why?"

I looked up at Lily with a slight frown. I was a little surprised that she, of all people, was actually questioning me about what had happened over the last five months. Sirius hadn't even asked me _why_ Gabriel held me captive. I had told him that they were training me to be a Death Eater, I never told him that Gabriel was teaching me to be more then that…he was teaching me to defend myself. And as I looked back at it I wondered if Gabriel ever had the intention of me being a Death Eater. He knew me so well—he knew I could and would never be one; perhaps he trained me not to be a Death Eater, but to be a survivor.

"Gabriel was working for my Father," I whispered very slowly. "He was training me to become a Death Eater under my Father's orders."

Lily's mouth opened slightly and then closed.

"Your Father, who is a very dangerous Death Eater?" she questioned in shock.

I frowned. It was time to tell Lily who I was.

"My Father, who is the leader of the Death Eaters," I said. I looked away from her. "My Father is Lord Voldemort."

At that moment the doors of the dormitory burst open and a slew of girls came in. They all stopped their loud talking abruptly at the sight of me. Lily closed her mouth and pulled the curtains closed around her bed as our classmates stared at me with wide surprised eyes. I glared at them and helped Lily with the curtains. She looked at me quickly.

"Your Father is Lor—"

"Don't say it so loud," I said quickly in a rushed whisper. Lily turned red and rubbed her forehead still looking at me in shock.

"Did you find this out from Gabriel?"

"No," I shook my head. "I've known since I've come here last summer."

Lily nodded her head.

"I didn't want to tell you because I wasn't sure how you'd respond. I didn't want anyone to know. I hate him Lily. I'm ashamed to be his daughter."

"I'm not going to stop talking to you because _he's_ your Father, Cadence. We can't choose who are parent's are," Lily said in a serious manner. "You are not like him. You don't believe what he believes. I'd say you're anything but his daughter."

Gabriel had said the same thing.

"Who else knows?" she asked.

"Sirius," I said. "And Dumbledore obviously. I just told Sirius yesterday when I got back."

Lily nodded.

"I won't tell anyone," she said.

"Thank you."

"So," she said after a calm silence between us. We could hear the other girl's going about their business. "Gabriel was training you?"

I nodded.

"What kind of training?"

I frowned.

"The kind you need to have to kill innocent people," I said sadly.

She patted my knee.

"Cadence you can use those skills for good though."

"Where is there any good in knowing how to kill people?"

"Well, if you know how to kill people you know how to not kill them. I'm sure you could use the skills you learned against Death Eaters. Cadence, you could be an amazing Auror with these kinds of skills."

I blinked at her.

"What?"

"Well, some people believe," she said very slowly. "That we need to fight fire with fire. If you know how Death Eaters are trained to hurt people, then you know how they'll act and how they'll plan."

"I wasn't _that_ well trained."

"None the less Cadence, do you see where I'm going with this?"

I nodded my head slowly.

"Yes," I whispered. "I understand. I could predict what they do…and I would know how to stop it."

Lily nodded.

"You could be an amazing Auror."

"I've never really considered it."

"Have you talked to Dumbledore about it? What classes are you going to take next year? Because classes next year are very career focused and you have to get certain N.E.W.T.S. to get a certain job."

"Oh," I frowned deeply. "I didn't know that."

Lily nodded.

"I suppose I should speak with Dumbledore then."

"What are you planning on doing tomorrow?" Lily asked. Tomorrow was Saturday, and the last Hogsmeade visit of the year. I frowned slightly.

"I don't know."

"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade and start studying?"

"I think I'd rather stay here and study."

Lily nodded.

"Okay, let's study outside though. It's beautiful out."

I agreed and waved my hand over my notebook, quill, and ink; they disappeared with a small pop, making Lily jump again. I smiled at her and bid her good night.

I pulled back her curtains and crawled off her bed, heading for mine. All the other girls in the dormitory were gathered around one bed and talking quickly. When one of them noticed me she nudged another and then they all looked at me. I glared at them.

"Is there something you'd like to say to me?" I asked leaning against my bedpost. "I mean, really, you all stopped talking. Do you have something to say or are you just dumb enough to talk about me while I'm right here in the room?"

"We weren't talking about _you_ Coleman," said Vanessa Longhart. She was a very pretty girl with long curly blonde hair, and nice face and pretty blue eyes. I knew she had dated Sirius in the past (as a matter of fact I knew that nearly every girl in the dormitory had either dated, snogged, or dreamed of doing such things with Sirius).

"Then stop staring at me," I snapped. "You're all looking at me like I'm some kind of freak."

One of the girls laughed a little and I glared at her sharply. Vanessa also glared at her and the girl frowned. Vanessa seemed to be the ring leader of Gryffindor girls, which included Lily's old friend Cecily. I wondered if Lily had been as obnoxious as these girls before she stopped hanging out with them. It made me wonder who Lily had hung out with these last five months.

"If you have something to say to me, say it," I said opening my trunk and digging out my pajamas.

"What makes you think we'd have anything to say to you?" asked Cecily. I looked at her as I took my shirt off.

"You didn't like me when I first started school here, no doubt you're upset I'm back."

"We wouldn't wish bad on you Coleman," said Vanessa very slowly. "We're not Slytherin's and we're not Death Eaters. We were worried about you as much as everyone else."

I blinked at her.

"Then that doesn't say very much," I whispered putting on my pajamas and climbing in bed. Before I closed the curtains tightly around me Lily gave me a reassuring smile and closed hers too.

* * *

Lily and I found a nice spot under a large oak tree by the water to study for our exams the next day. Despite how beautiful the weather was, the grounds were nearly empty because most of the students had gone to Hogsmeade for the day. There were second and first years wondering around, but not enough to cause a disturbance to our studying. Sirius and the other boys had decided to go to Hogsmeade for a little while and then study after dinner. Lily and I both thought this was funny because we knew they wouldn't study when they got back from dinner.

I looked up at her after I had finished copying her potions notes and studied her confused expression.

"What's the matter?" I asked sitting up and leaning against the tree. Lily blinked and looked at me.

"What?"

"You look like something is wrong…what's up?"

"Oh," she glanced back out across the grounds before looking back at me. "Nothing."

I looked out across the grounds in the same direction she had been looking and saw a skinny dark figure on the other side of the lawn. Severus Snape was walking with his nose deep in a book. I frowned.

"Is something wrong with your friend Severus?" I asked.

"I don't know if I'd call him a friend anymore."

"Why?"

She looked at me.

"Do you remember how I thought he was for Voldemort on the train?" she asked and I nodded my head slowly. How could I forget? Severus had creeped me out beyond any explanation…there was no way to describe or forget the shivers of weird he sent through my system. "Well I just think he's for him even more now. He's been hanging out with a lot of bad guys more and more this year…I mean you didn't see it because you were gone, and you didn't know Severus to begin with so you wouldn't see the change…but…well he's just making bad choices."

I nodded my head slowly.

"He's picking on people and calling people bad things," Lily continued in her rushed voice. She was hardly breathing; I didn't know how she was saying so much with so little breath. "And he's been ignoring me…I just wish I could help him."

"You can't change people unless they want to be changed, Lily," I said wisely. "I don't think Severus wants to be changed. He likes Dark Arts and Dark Magic. He's in Slytherin and he's close to others in Slytherin, whether they be a bad influence or not. He wants what he has…"

"I don't think so, Cadence," Lily whispered softly. "I think he wants something else…he wants the life of someone else."

"Like who?"

"James."

I frowned deeply.

"James doesn't have everything."

"Friend, life, family, some money, and girl's goggling over him," Lily listed. "He's the star Quidditch player—"

"Not everyone wants that."

Lily shrugged and sighed.

"I don't know," she whispered looking out at Severus who was now walking towards them with his book closed under his arm. "He's coming this way."

I looked up at him and frowned slightly. I had the horrible feeling that this was going to be ugly.

"Lily," said Severus in an annoyed tone. "Can I speak with you?"

"Whatever you have to say you can say it right here," said Lily smoothly.

"I'm not interested in talking to her," Severus motioned his head to me but didn't look at me. "I want to talk to you and you alone."

"Well I'm not moving, so anything you have to say you can say it in front of Cadence. She is my best friend and I'll tell her anyways."

Severus's face fell when Lily called me her best friend.

"Well alright then," he said sticking his greasy nose up in the air. "I just came to ask you if you wanted to join a club with me."

"A club?" I said. "When there is only two weeks left of term? That's ridiculous."

"I wasn't talking to you Coleman," he glared at me. I was happy that he finally worked up the nerve to look me in the eye.

"What kind of club Severus?" Lily sighed in a polite voice. She was too polite to tell him to bugger off because she wasn't interested in anything that had to do with him.

"A potions club," he said slowly.

She looked at him with studying eyes, as if debating if he were telling the truth or not. I did not need to debate over Severus's looks or eyes; I opened his mind to my eyes and wandered around in it. I was shocked when I was suddenly thrown back against the tree and when I opened my eyes Severus had his wand out pointed at me.

"Severus!" Lily screamed jumping up. "Stop it!"

"How dare you!" He yelled at me. "You think I don't know how to protect myself from prying minds such as yours!?"

I jumped up to my feet and whipped out my wand.

"Can't help that you were lying Severus," I said. "Why are you lying to Lily? Why not tell her what you club really is?"

"Severus?" Lily said with sad eyes stepping between him and me. Severus looked at Lily with a glare then back at me.

"_Protego!_" I yelled before Severus's silent spell could hit me. His spell bounced back from me and hit Lily instead. She screamed loudly as her ankle was pulled up in the air and she hung up side down.

"Lily!" Severus yelled in shock.

I flicked my wand and Lily fell to the ground, I moved quickly to help her up. She thanked me and glared at Severus.

"I think that is enough," she said. "Go away Severus."

"Lily that spell wasn't meant for you," he said quickly. "It was meant for Coleman—"

"I don't care Severus," Lily said with a sharp tone of voice. She was glaring at him and shaking her head. "You tried to curse my best friend. It doesn't matter that the spell wasn't meant for me. What's happened to you Severus?"

"Nothing," he snapped. "I've finally found my place."

He turned sharply and marched off towards the castle. I looked at Lily with a frown.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't think the spell would bounce to you."

"It's okay," she whispered sitting back down. "What was the club really?"

I looked at her and frowned deeply.

"Tell me, Cadence."

"He and some of his Slytherin friends are meeting to become Death Eaters."

Lily frowned and looked back at Severus Snape who was at the top of the hill. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her temples softly. I patted her shoulder gently as she sighed. She sat up straight and pulled her books towards her.

"We'd better get started on Defense Against the Dark Arts," she said. "If you're going to be an Auror you have to have top marks in that course. Have to get you into the N.E.W.T. level…"

Her voice faded as I looked out across the grass at Severus. He was going to become one of my Father's followers. I wonder how my Father would feel about his Death Eater's hurting me…Although since I wasn't on his side perhaps he'd be okay with that. He'd be okay if his Death Eater's killed me. I frowned deeply. Unless, he wanted to kill me himself.


	17. Giving Up

A hooded man was holding me by the throat against the basement wall of Gabriel's house

A hooded man was holding me by the throat against the basement wall of Gabriel's house. I was struggling against his tightening grip, pulling at his hand and looking up at him with begging eyes.

"Beg for your life Cadence Coleman," he hissed at me like a snake. "Beg like the little girl you are."

My begging stare turned to a glare and I kicked my foot at his kneecap. He released me in shock with a grunt of pain and yelled a curse with his wand pointed at me. I had no time to run, think or react—the pain shot through my body like he was pressing a red hot poker against my spine. It was hot pressure coming in from all sides. I was screaming, withering on the ground like a flower dying in the hot sun. I could feel my blood beginning to boil, and my skin turning hot. I wanted it all to stop. Take the pain that was searing in my bones away. Just let it end.

I woke up in my bed with a gasp and cry. I looked around frantically and found that I was safe in the quiet dormitory surrounded by my female classmates. I shivered and crawled out of the bed, pulling on my pullover. There was no comfort I could find in the room or in my bed. I was too afraid to stay there so I left and went down into the common room.

The fire was out and it was dark. The darkness did not help my fearful nerves that were pulsing with life and adrenalin. Why were these night terrors coming back? I passed in front of the empty grate for awhile before stopping and looking up at the boys' dormitory. I wanted Sirius to hold me right then. I made my way to the stairs and up them, somewhat surprised that nothing stopped me. Lily had told me how the girls' stairs turned to a slide when a boy tried to go up them…so why didn't the boys' when a girl went up? I didn't bother to analyze it and paused at the boys' dormitory door. I hesitated…should I knock and wake someone or just go in?

I knocked so not to be rude, but gently so not to wake up anyone. Then, I turned the knob quietly and slipped into the dark room. There were seven beds and I noticed that one was empty. Of course, I remembered, Remus was in the hospital wing because of the full moon two days ago. I moved forward slowly not knowing which bed was Sirius's. The curtains were pulled tight around all of them, except for Remus's.

I opened my mind up to the room and search the minds in the beds. I found Sirius's in the middle of the room. He was having a very good dream about us together. I smirked a little and went to the bed, pulling back the curtains and sitting down. I pulled the curtains shut and laid down next to him.

"Cadence," he whispered with surprise half sitting up and looking at me. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm having nightmares," I whispered with a little frown. "I just…I need you to hold me."

He smiled and pulled me down to him, kissing me gently on the lips.

"Get under the covers, you'll be warmer."

I listened and climbed under the covers, pressing my body against his warm one. He didn't have a shirt on, and felt good pressed up against me. I drew with my finger tips on his bare chest and leaned forward, kissing his chest smoothly. He brushed my hair and kissed my head.

"What were you dreaming about?"

"My Father," I whispered. "Torturing me."

Sirius nodded his head slowly.

"He's not going to hurt you Cadence, I'm not going to let that happen."

I smiled a little and kissed his chest again.

"I know," I whispered and closed my eyes to sleep. I was able to sleep peacefully in Sirius's arms the rest of the night.

"Good morning!" said someone gleefully pulling back the curtains on the bed. "Looks like you two got a little busy—have fun?"

My eyelids fluttered open and I saw James stand over the bed, then I remembered. I was in Sirius's bed in the boys' dormitory. I sighed and rolled over, pulling the sheets over my head.

"James, shove off," Sirius said laying next to me with his eyes tightly closed.

"Nope, sorry can't."

"Why?" Sirius sighed with annoyance.

"Dumbledore is looking for Cadence."

I sat up straight in the bed.

"What?"

"Well you two slept through breakfast," said James. "Tried to wake you but couldn't. Dumbledore came over to the table asking where you were Cadence. I said probably still in bed. Lily was smart enough not to say you weren't in your bed…but anyways….Dumbledore wants to see you in his office."

"Right," I sighed sitting up. Sirius sat up behind me and rubbed my back.

"What do you think he wants?"

"Don't know," I whispered. "I know I have to talk to him about next year's courses that I wish to take. Other then that I don't know."

"Have you apologized to Remus yet?" James asked leaning against the banister.

"Who told you about that?"

"Remus did," James shrugged.

I nodded once and stood up.

"See you guys later."

As I walked to the door I heard James whispered something and then moan in pain. I laughed a little, Sirius had punched him. I closed the door tightly behind me and made my way to my dormitory to get dressed. Once I was dressed, and had my things ready for class I went down to Dumbledore's office. The gargoyles outside were expecting me and allowed me entrance to the spiral staircase. I knocked on the door gently and Dumbledore bid me entrance.

"Hello Cadence."

"Hello Professor.

"Please," he said motioning to the seat by his desk. He was standing by the fireplace. "Sit down."

I thanked him and sat down in the chair slowly.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?"

"I wanted to ask you about your courses for next year."

"Oh, good I wanted to speak to you about that."

He nodded as he came over to his desk.

"What type of classes should I be taking?"

"What do you want to do after you leave Hogwarts?" Dumbledore asked sitting down.

I thought for a moment. "Well, really the only thing I've thought of is being an Auror because I want to stop my Father."

Dumbledore nodded.

"I think that is a wise choice," he said. "In which case you'll need potions, defense against the dark arts, obviously, charms, and history of magic probably wouldn't hurt."

I frowned. I hated history of magic. Dumbledore smiled at me and I realized that he knew I hated history of magic from entering my mind with Legilimency.

"What else should I be taking?"

"Herbology, could help with potions, or perhaps you should stay with Divination," Dumbledore said softly. "Care of Magical Creatures is another choice."

"How many classes am I required to take?"

"Five," he said.

"So one more," I whispered. "Can I think about it?"

"You mean ask your friends what they're taking?" He said and I smiled a little. "Yes of course."

I nodded. "Okay, thank you."

"Was there anything you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked softly.

I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"No," I whispered slowly. "I don't think so…"

"Okay," he said with a nod. "You're going to be late to class if you don't get going."

"Okay, thanks Professor," I said with a smile as I stood up. I left the office quickly and made my way to class. I was a little early and there was only one person in the classroom. I stopped in the doorway with a nervous frown. Remus was sitting at the desk reading from the Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook.

I walked in and he heard me, looking up. He frowned deeply and refocused his attention on the book.

"Remus, I want to talk to you."

He didn't say anything and I sat down next to him. He got up, grabbing his things and moved over a few desks. I stood up and sat down next to him again.

"I want to apologize for what I did," I said. "I didn't mean for it to happen…it just did. I don't care what you are; I still think you're a good person and a good friend. I hope you can think the same thing about me."

I nodded my head to reassure myself that I had said the right thing.

"I know what I did was wrong," I said quickly. "I'm very sorry that I did it, but I can't take it back and I wish you'd forgive me."

"It doesn't bother me that you know what I am now Cadence," Remus said finally looking me in the eye. "I'm more worried about your powers and how you're using them. Obviously you were kidnapped because the Dark Lord thinks you'll be an important asset to his cause. He wanted you trained to be a Death Eater and you used your powers like a Death Eater would."

"I told you I didn't mean to. I don't completely understand Legilimency and I don't have complete control over it."

"You can't do Legilimency unless you have control over it," Remus said. "It's not something you're born with. You learn it, and I think it's obvious that you learned it very well."

"I'm not evil Remus," I said crossly.

He looked at me.

"I don't think you are, Cadence. You're one of the best people that I know. I'm just worried about you. I'm afraid that you may be losing yourself to what happened these last few months…Actions speak louder then words," he whispered turning away. I frowned deeply and collected my things to move away from him. The classroom was starting to fill and Lily took a seat next to me as Sirius, James, and Peter walked into the room.

"Did you speak with Dumbledore?" she asked. "He was looking for you today at breakfast."

"Yea, I spoke with him."

"Where were you by the way? You weren't in your bed this morning. When James told Dumbledore that you must still be in bed this morning I knew something was up."

"I spent the night with Sirius."

"Cadence!" Lily gasped. I looked at her quickly and her mouth closed sharply.

"Just slept with him," I said to stop her from thinking the same things that James had been. "I was having nightmares last night and couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares about what?"

I frowned and turned to face the front of the classroom.

"My Father."

I didn't pay very much attention through class that day—which I probably should have been as I had missed a whole semester and the final exams were less then a week away. I was too distracted by Remus's comments. Actions speak louder then words…did he think that I was becoming a Death Eater after all? Was I just another Slytherin to him? Or worse, another Snape? I was bothered by what he had said. If Remus ever learned that I was Voldemort's daughter he'd probably think for sure that I was becoming a Death Eater. I couldn't bring myself to talk to Sirius about the issue and my feelings because Remus was one of his best friends. How was I going to make this better?

Sirius slammed his books down on the table in front of me and made Lily and me both jump. Lily knocked over a bottle of ink in her shock and cursed as she quickly cleaned it up with her wand. I looked up at Sirius with worry.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I just came from the library with Remus."

"Rather," said James coming up behind Sirius and putting down his backpack. He slipped into a seat and glanced at Lily for a long moment. "We got kicked out of the library."

"Where's Remus?" Lily asked looking at the boys.

Sirius sat down slowly.

"Who cares?" he said roughly.

I put my head in my hands and rubbed my forehead softly. I had a feeling my name was going to be coming up shortly.

"You guys fought?" Lily said shocked. "Merlin, what about?"

Sirius looked so furious that I thought the books in front of him were going to burst into flames. James rubbed his chin and looked at me.

"Remus seems to think that Cadence is," he paused for a few seconds. I frowned deeply. "Well…"

"Remus has the crazy notion in his head that Cadence very well could be a Death Eater, or is becoming one."

Lily frowned and looked at me as I rubbed my forehead more.

"Why?" Lily asked looking back at Sirius and James.

"Because of how she used Legilimency on him."

"Which is ridiculous because she had no control over it," said Sirius bitterly. "She didn't mean to see into his head and find out he's a werewolf."

James punched Sirius sharply in the shoulder and Lily's mouth fell open a little. I sighed loudly.

"I feel awful," I said. "Just because of me all this is happening."

"It's not your fault Remus is being a big dirty git."

"He's not a big dirty git Sirius," I said slowly. "He's right. You control Legilimency, it doesn't control you. I didn't know what I was doing at the time but I should have. I should have known better then to use magic like that on one of my friends. When I wanted something from Gabriel and he wouldn't give me an answer I used Legilimency on him. It happened a lot. I did it out of habit and I shouldn't have. Remus is right and I've apologized. If he doesn't want to forgive me that's his choice, but I don't want it to ruin your friendship."

"I can't be friends with someone who thinks my girl friend is a Death Eater," said Sirius sternly.

I frowned and shrugged.

"He doesn't think I'm a Death Eater Sirius. He knows I'm a good person. He's just worried that I could be on the path to becoming one. You know I'm not a Death Eater," I whispered. "Perhaps that is all that matters."

"It doesn't bother you that Remus, who is your friend too, thinks that you're becoming a Death Eater?" Sirius said glaring at me from across the table.

"Would it matter if it bothered me? It wouldn't change anything if it did."

"It should bother you Cadence," Sirius said. "No one should be accused of being such a thing, especially when they are innocent."

"Remus is concerned about me Sirius, he's not accusing me of anything."

"Dammit Cadence!" said Sirius standing up straight and knocking over the chair that he was sitting in. "You are a good person! You're not your Father no matter how much of his blood runs in your veins and I'm not going to let you sit her and take this crap! You are not a Death Eater and you're not in any way about to become one. It bothers me that you won't tell that to Remus!"

People all over the common room were starting to stare at us.

"Please stop screaming," I said softly.

"No!" Sirius said. "Not until you listen!"

"Shouting won't make me listen to you Sirius!" I shouted back. I sighed and threw down the books I had been picking up. I lowered my tone and looked at Sirius with soft, pained eyes. I was sure everyone in the common room was listening to what we were saying and if anyone heard that Remus was a werewolf, or my figured out whom my Father was I'd never forgive myself—or Sirius. "Remus is concerned that I am becoming a Death Eater subconsciously because of how I have lived for the last couple of months. I have known no good in the last months, Sirius. I have seen evil and been trained to be evil every day. The only good I saw was in Gabriel's eyes as he died at my hand. I think Remus has right to worry. I'm frightened and scared for myself because if I do something else like I did to Remus I could very well be one step short of my Father."

"You are a good person Cadence. How do you not see that?" Sirius said with desperate eyes.

I shrugged.

"No matter how many times I hear it doesn't mean I see it or that it's really there. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm good, but they have no proof. Maybe everyone just wants me to be good and I just want to hear it because I don't want to be evil."

"You make the choice, Cadence," said Lily's voice very quietly. I was surprised to hear her come into the conversation. I had forgotten that she and James were sitting with Sirius and me. "No one can force you to be anything you don't want to be. Free choice is a wonderful thing. If you wish to be good you can be."

"But everything I've done, even for the right reason, has still been wrong."

"So you made a mistake," said James slowly. "We all will."

"This isn't a time where people can afford to make mistakes," I said very sadly. "Now please all of you, I'd like to go to bed."

"No," said Sirius coming around the table and grabbing my arm. I looked at him sharply, freezing on the spot. It took every bone in my body to not grab his wrist, twist and flip him onto his back. It took every ounce of control in my system to not hurt the love of my life. "You can't go until you see what we see."

"Perhaps I don't want to see it," I whispered bitterly just to get him away from me.

"Then I don't know you," he said releasing me. "You're not the same person I woke up with this morning."

I frowned and said nothing as he walked away. I glanced at James and Lily who were still sitting at the table. They both frowned and gathered their things. James said nothing to me and went after Sirius to the boys' dormitory. Lily stopped next to me.

"I'm surprised you're giving up on yourself Cadence," she whispered. "You're giving your Father exactly what he wants."

I said nothing to her. I couldn't, because in the bottom of all that I was, I knew she was right. I was doing everything wrong and now, I didn't think there was a way to fix it.

* * *

I was gasping for breath in the middle of a forest. I did not know my surroundings as I looked around me. My feet were aching in my tight tennis shoes, and my forehead had sweat running down it a little. I took a long breath and put my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath.

"Hello Cadence," said a voice from far away making me shiver and stand up bolt upright.

In the darkness of the woods I could see someone moving between the trees. A few seconds later a hooded figure came into sight, he approached me slowly as he removed his hood. I took a step back in shock. His dark hair fell in front of his pale aged face. There were a few streaks of grey in the black hair, showing his age more then his skin. I could only guess how old he was—early to late fifties perhaps. His eyes were a dark shade of brown, that if it weren't for their small black slits for pupils, I would have said were comforting.

The bedroom was dark around me and I coughed as I chocked a little. I bent over the side of the bed and caught myself as I fell. Standing up, I looked around the dark dormitory and shuttered. I had to get out of here. I could not sleep while my Father haunted my dreams. I put on my shoes and pulled on a pair of shorts, leaving the dormitory quickly and quietly like a ghost.

It took me a few minutes to get downstairs and out onto the grounds without anyone noticing me, but once I was outside I felt the warm summer breeze and it calmed me. I took a long breath then set off on a run across the grounds.

I didn't stop running for sometime. I don't know why I was running, or what I was running from because running certainly never helped anyone. I knew my problems were going to be right there waiting for me when I returned to the castle and my dormitory. I'd still have to face Sirius, Lily, James and Remus in the morning and I wasn't quite sure how I was going to do that. How could I tell them that I really did believe that I was a good person at heart when I couldn't see it? The only thing I could see now was the negative and I wasn't sure how to see the positive.

A sharp sound in the distance made me skid to a stop and look around me. My heart plummeted to my stomach. I was in the middle of the forest and I could hear someone, or something, moving towards me. I shuttered and put my hands on my knees as my feet ached and I tried to catch my breath.

"Hello Cadence."

I stood upright and turned sharply, looking into the dark distance to see who had called my name. I groped at my sides and then my calf looking for my wand. I stood up and felt like an idiot. What kind of a witch was I to go running at night with out a wand?

"You're a hard girl to find," the calm, yet frightening, voice said. I turned again and saw him. How was this possible? I just dreamed this…this wasn't really happening…I pinched my arm as I took a step away from the hooded figure coming out from between the trees. "You're very much awake my dear."

"Don't call me that," I said back sharply.

The man laughed and lowered his hood as he came into the clearing.

"I'll call you what I wish."

I couldn't stop staring at his dark features and frightening eyes. I could see only evil and malice in them. He wanted nothing but power and control. What was even more frightening was that he was real. This was not like the dream I had about an hour ago in my dormitory. This was very real. My Father had found me and was probably going to kill me now.

"Don't be stupid," he said pulling off his cloak and letting it fall to the forest floor. "I'm not going to kill you, now anyways."

He was dressed in all black; tight pants that went all the way to his boots, and a black button up shirt with vest over it. He also wore a sleeveless robe that fell to his feet and hid his wand. If it were not for the death and evil that he wreaked of I would have said he was a handsome, well-off man, and I probably would have been proud of the fact that I was his daughter. But I knew too much of him to be proud.

"I'd hardly think you have anything to be ashamed of, Cadence," he said looking at me and crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm moving mountains in this world. I'll move bigger ones in a few years, especially with you by my side."

"I have no interest in moving mountains."

It was amazing how fast, and unnoticeably, he read my mind with Legilimency. Gabriel was right; he was the best at it. He would no doubt use it to his advantage and my disadvantage. He would put me through worse pain then I had ever imagined, and he would do worse then Gabriel ever would have.

"Oh but Cadence, don't you see, we could change the whole of the Wizarding world together!" he said opening his arms and spinning around. "We could make everything the way we wanted it. We could have anything we wanted."

"We?" I said slowly taking a step back. "There would be no we. You do not look for a partner. You think you are stronger alone. You know nothing of loving or sharing something with someone."

"Now why would I want to do that?" he said folding his hands. "If I shared you with Dumbledore…well…then he'd no doubt be able to destroy me. I don't like the idea of that. And Cadence, there is no use for love. It is a waste and only a means of weakness."

"You use it to your advantage."

"Ah, yes," he said with a cruel smile. "Your darling Mother was a gullible fool. I claimed to love her to get my hands on a very precious item that belonged to Gordric Gryffindor. And you ended up being an accident."

"Unfortunate, isn't it?" I spat.

"Not as unfortunate as I had originally thought," he said with a smirk. "Like I said before Cadence, we could change everything that is if you'd come along with me and finish your training."

"I killed the last idiot you sent to train me, what makes you think I won't kill the next?"

Voldemort smiled broadly at me.

"See, you already have it in you," he said. "They are all idiots Cadence, you are right. So, I suppose I must train you myself. I can teach you how to live lavishly, have servants, and control anyone you wish. I can teach you how to bring people back from the dead, perhaps your Mother? We could bring her back Cadence, it wouldn't take much…"

For a moment I thought of my Mother. I thought of everything she had done in the life that I had known. She had devoted herself to helping others, living for everyone but herself. I glared at my Father sharply and took a step away from him.

His eyes changed also, and he glared at me.

"Don't be foolish Cadence," he said reaching into his robe and pulling out his wand. I held out my hand and a whip appeared in it with the blink of an eye. I lashed out at my Father, cracking the whip around his ankle and pulling sharply. He fell to the ground and yelled a curse that I had only heard in my nightmares.

I fell to the ground with screaming agony. My body twitched and convulsed on the forest floor and I screamed and cried. The pain was worse then I had ever dreamt. I felt like my bones were being crushed, twisted and broken in every spot. My spin was going to snap if it didn't stop soon. I could feel the cold tears on my cheeks and I was screaming louder then I ever had before—then it all stopped.

My ears rang and I rolled onto my back as a burst of flames danced next to me. I rolled away from the brightness and moaned in pain.

"Hello Tom," said the very calm voice of Albus Dumbledore. I felt my heart lift with hope at hearing his voice.

"Dumbledore," sneered Voldemort taking a step away from my body. I rolled my head to see his glaring face. "As usual, old man, you are behind and too late."

"I'd hardly say that," Dumbledore said. I felt him kneel by my side and touch my forehead.

"Keep your hands off my daughter!" Voldemort flicked his wand violently and I felt my body fly away from Dumbledore's. I went flying into a tree and fell to the ground in a limp, broken pile of flesh. I could barely move my body was sore and still twitching from my Father's abuse. How was I going to help Dumbledore?

I could see them dueling in front of me. A burst of flames erupted around Dumbledore, catching the trees and grass near him. I tried to think of something to do as I lay in the dirt. I lifted my hands and conjured rain clouds over our heads. It began to pour, and the fire steadily went out. My Father turned and glared at me. He raised his wand.

"_Connecto Anima!_" he yelled. I tried to move out of the way of the blue light that came flying towards me, but I wasn't fast enough and it strick me in the thigh. "I told you, you were too late Dumbledore. She is forever mine."

Voldemort picked up his black cloak and spun it around him. Before the material flew against his body he disappeared with a loud _crack_ and then all fell silent in the woods.

A horrible feeling began to crawl up my leg. I felt numb, and then cold. I looked over at Dumbledore who was rushing to me and tried to say something to him, but I couldn't speak. He knelt next to me and touched my arm, but I couldn't feel his touch. His lips moved, but I heard nothing, and then I saw nothing but darkness.


	18. Connecto Anima

"Where am I

"Where am I?" I whispered blinking and trying to sit up slowly in a warm bed. It seemed familiar, but at the same time strange to me. I could not place myself and that frightened me. What scared me even more was my vision was not becoming clear. I was seeing in a smoky fog and no matter how many times I blinked or rubbed my eyes, my vision did not clear up.

A soft hand touched my shoulder and pushed me back into the bed slowly.

"Relax Cadence, you need to stay lying down."

I blinked again and rubbed my eyes looking to my left where the voice had come from. It was Sirius. I knew it was by the sound of his voice and I could see his figure, but not make out the clear handsome details of his face. I felt his hand move to my cheek and when he spoke I heard a deep sadness in his tone.

"Your eyes are still cloudy," he whispered.

"Cloudy?" I repeated squinting at him hoping that would clear up my visions more, but it didn't. "Sirius, I can't see you very clearly. What's going on?"

"Dumbledore hasn't told me what's happened. He just promised me you'd be okay," he said. "I believe him."

His tone suggested that he was a little angry with Dumbledore for not telling him what was wrong with me. I could sense that he also didn't completely believe Dumbledore about me being alright.

"You should lay back down," he said touching my shoulder again. "Dumbledore and Madame Pomphrey stressed that you need to rest. I'm only allowed by your bed because I promised I'd make you rest once you woke. You need to save your energy."

"Sirius," I whispered softly sinking into my pillow. I felt his hand stroke my cheek. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," he said. "I'm sorry too."

"No," I said trying to sit up again but he pushed me back into the bed sheets.

"You need to stay resting."

"Stop treating me like a child," I swatted at his hand. I could tell he was smiling, don't ask me how, it was just something I could sense. I could see his smile in my head, imagine it on his handsome dark face. I wished I could see it. Sirius's smile alone would have made me feel better at that time. He caught my hand in his, bringing it to his lips slowly and kissing it.

"I'm sorry I over reacted a little. I shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did. You're under a lot of pressure," he whispered. "I know that you're struggling within yourself and me yelling at you like that doesn't help. I'm just so afraid sometimes that I'm going to lose you."

I smiled at his seriousness and reached out, finding his cheek.

"I know," I whispered. "I'm scared too. I don't want to be lost to my Father either. I know deep down in me Sirius that I'm good, it's just hard for me to believe it sometimes. I know that it's the choices we make that define us and I want to make good choices."

"I know you can," he said holding my hand to his cheek. I smiled and wished I could see him so I could kiss him. If I leaned forward in my fogged vision, I would miss his lips and make a complete idiot of myself.

"Sirius," I whispered.

"Yes?"

"I want to kiss you," I said sadly. "But I can't see you."

"Come here," he said moving and sitting down on my bed. He cupped my cheek and chin and kissed my lips softly. "You scared me."

"I was scared myself."

He laughed a little and I felt his body lie down completely next to mine.

"Dumbledore didn't tell me what happened."

"You said that already."

"I mean I don't know how you were attacked or anything. Were you even attacked? Or did you have some kind of an episode?"

"An episode? You're making me sound like a freak," I said softly.

"No, I didn't mean that," he said quickly. I smiled a little and he kissed my cheeks. "You know what I mean."

"I was attacked," I whispered with a nod of my head. "Dumbledore didn't tell you anything?"

"No."

That surprised me.

"My Father found me, Sirius," I said very slowly. Part of me didn't want to say it at all because then that meant it really happened and it wasn't just another nightmare that I had woken from. "I saw him. He wanted me to come with him. Dumbledore saved me just in time. My Father was torturing me."

"Like in your dream?"

I nodded. "Yes." I frowned deeply.

"What's the matter?"

"I had a dream before I went into the forest where my Father found me," I said. "I dreamt of myself seeing him in the forest. When I woke up from the dream I went for a ran and ended up in the woods…where he found me."

"You ran into the Forbidden Forest after you had a dream of meeting your Father in the forest? Cadence what you were thinking?"

"I wasn't focusing on _where _I was running I was just running to try and get my thoughts out of my head so I could sleep."

"You're lucky he didn't kill you."

"He doesn't want to kill me," I said shaking my head lightly. My cheek brushed up against Sirius's arm as he slipped it under my head and the pillow. "At least not yet. He seems to think that he'll be more powerful with me by his side."

"Of course," said Sirius. "You're his living blood and flesh. You are half of him and bare his powers. Voldemort lives forever in you and the future of your line."

I frowned deeply.

"I shall not have children then to prevent his line from continuing. Voldemort's legacy continues if I have children. I can't allow that."

"Well that's depressing," Sirius said.

"What is?" I asked looking at him but not really seeing him.

"If you don't want to have kids we're not going to be having very much sex."

I punched him in the chest.

"Ouch!"

"Just like you to think of sex."

"Sorry," he groaned rubbing his chest. "It's hard not to think about it when I'm sharing a bed with a sexy girl like you."

"That is enough of that," said a sharp voice. I smiled as Lily's figure appeared around the curtain that was hanging around my bed. I felt Sirius sit up on the edge of my bed.

"Hello Lily," he said grumpily.

"Sorry to interrupt," said Lily sitting in the chair that Sirius had once occupied. "But Dumbledore said I could come up and see Cadence before he came up here to talk to her."

"Talk to me about what?"

"The curse that your Father put on you."

I nodded my head slowly.

"Your eyes are cloudy because of it," Lily said slowly.

"Do you know what it is?"

"Not really no," she said slowly. "I've come across the _Connecto Anima_ a few times in my readings, and it's never been described, just mentioned. I know it has to do with connecting souls, but from my understanding it's _very_ complicated magic and _very_ difficult to perform in a rushed manner."

"In a rushed manner such as a duel?" I suggested.

"Yes," said Lily with a grin.

I nodded my head slowly and laid back in my pillows.

"I'm starving."

"James is bringing you food," said Lily. "Dinner is almost over and he'll be up with it and Dumbledore. Then the three of us are going to study for our last exam."

"Last exam?" I questioned sitting up a little. Sirius quickly pushed me back down on the bed. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "No need to get rough Sirius," I joked.

"I'd love to get rough with you."

"Stop it!" Lily said and I saw in my blurred vision her take a swing at him. He ducked out of the way and laughed. "That's gross!"

"You just don't like talking about it because it's exactly what you want to do to James."

"Shut up Sirius!" Lily snapped.

"What do you want to do to me?" asked James appearing with a tray of food.

"Nothing," Lily said quickly before Sirius could say anything.

"Hi Cadence," James said placing the food in front of me. "Hope you like fruit."

"Thanks James," I said slowly staring at the blurred tray of food in front of me. I could make out shapes and colors but honestly was a little nervous about eating in front of my friends. With out being able to see I wasn't sure how well I'd eat, and I most certainly didn't want to be fed my food. Although if it were Sirius feeding me the fruit….I shook my head to clear the thoughts from my head. I shouldn't be thinking about having sexual interactions with Sirius.

"I've missed all the exams?" I asked trying to get my mind on other things.

"Yes," said Lily. "You've been up here for a little under a week. We have one exam left tomorrow, and then we leave for summer holiday on Monday."

"Oh," I frowned deeply.

"What are you going to do over the holiday?" Sirius asked taking my hand.

"I don't know. I have a giant house to myself, don't I?"

"I don't think it wise you be by yourself."

"I agree," I said slowly. I sighed and shrugged. "I'll worry about that tomorrow."

"Hello Cadence," said Dumbledore's old soft voice. I looked up in his direction and saw a dark blue, and white blur. "If you three will please excuse us, I wish to speak to Cadence alone."

"Of course," said Lily standing up. "Bye Cadence, we'll come by tomorrow."

"Sleep well," said Sirius standing up next to me. He leaned over and kissed my forehead and then my lips. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," I whispered back. He pinched my cheek then stood up straight. I watched as his, Lily, and James's blurs disappeared behind the white curtain. I frowned and looked at Dumbledore's blur as he sat down in the chair next to me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay," I said slowly. "Other then not being able to see. I can't see Professor."

"Yes, your eyes are cloudy white. They have been for the last few days."

"What's happening to me?"

"You're eyes are working to regain their ability to see," he said slowly. "Eye sight is the last thing to return after being hit with the _Connecto Anima_ curse."

"What exactly is the _Connecto Anima_ curse?"

"It's a curse that connects the soul of the curse receiver to the soul of the curser," he said in a calm tone. I frowned deeply.

"My Father tried to connect my soul to his?" I asked slowly. "What does that mean?"

"It means that he would have been able to come to you at anytime, no matter where you were. He'd know your ever thought and emotion," Dumbledore was speaking very slowly and what he was saying made me very nervous. "And if he were killed, but you lived his soul would remain with you. It would not depart to the next life, he'd be left bodiless, trapped in you."

I frowned deeply. I didn't like the sound of this curse at all.

"In essence," Dumbledore said. "You would be in him and he'd be in you. There would be two people in both of your bodies."

"That's weird," I said with a shaky voice.

"It is a weird and dark part of magic," he said in agreement. "Magic involving souls is a very weird branch of magic, and very little research has been done on it. Not many explore the exact art that is required to understand and control the soul."

I rubbed my temples.

"So," I spoke slowly because I didn't want my question to have a true answer. "My soul is connected to Voldemort's?"

"Do you feel like you have another person inside of your body?"

"No."

"Then no you are not connected to him," he said. "If you were connected to your Father you would know it Cadence. You would feel his every emotion and thought in your head. Think of it like this: if you were connected to him it'd be like you were using Legilimency on him all the time and you'd know everything that was going through his head, and vice versa."

"This is giving me a head ache."

"It is a very weird branch of magic," Dumbledore said again.

I frowned deeply and picked up a piece of fruit from my plate. If I ate perhaps I wouldn't have to talk. Not that eating would stop me from hearing what Dumbledore was saying, which is what I really wanted to do. I didn't want to hear about this anymore. As long as I wasn't connected to my Father and I was going to get my sight back I would be fine.

"Why did I lose my senses?"

"When the curse is placed on someone it erases their senses and rebuilds them with the curser's senses also. If the curse had worked you would smell, hear, and sense what Voldemort did."

I nodded my head slowly.

"So I'll be able to see again soon?"

"Two days more worth of potions and rest," said Dumbledore. "And you'll be healthier then before."

"That's good."

"It is," Dumbledore said and then fell silent for a little bit. I could sense that whatever he was going to tell me was going to be bad news. "Now, Cadence, you must understand that the curse didn't _fully_ work, it no doubt will have some effects on you."

"Like what?" I asked worriedly.

"You will have flashes of Voldemort's emotions and thoughts," he said. "You will share a small connection with him stronger then most because you are his daughter also."

"I don't think I understand."

"Voldemort has been sending you nightmares through Legilimency," he said. "He knew you were at Hogwarts and was trying to lure you outside of the grounds, which worked. He used Legilimency on you while you slept and were unaware of him invading your mind."

"He was able to use Legilimency on me with out knowing exactly where I was and seeing me?"

"That is correct."

"That's frightening."

"He could only do it with you because you two share a connection through blood."

"Now our connection is stronger," I said slowly.

"Yes."

"So our souls are connected a little?"

"Yes, I suppose you could put it that way," said Dumbledore.

"I don't know if I like that."

"It's something you'll have to get used to," he said sadly. "And be careful with. If you sense his emotions, feelings, or senses, he'll be able to sense yours. I think it wise to keep working on your Occlumency skills. Hopefully those will help you keep the connection with him low."

I nodded my head slowly and rubbed my temples, squeezing my eyes shut.

"This is all giving me a head ache," I whispered.

"I'm sorry," said Dumbledore patting my knee. "It could be worse, Cadence."

I nodded and laid back down.

"I'm happy to inform you that you've been exempted from your exams."

"I really wanted to take them."

"Why?"

His question puzzled me for a few moments. Why did I want to take the exams when I hadn't studied any of the subjects at all for the entire term? I bit my bottom lip. I wanted to take the exams to prove that I could do it and to prove that nothing had changed, despite everything that had.

Now, everything was going to be more difficult. I was a ticking tomb bomb that could explode with Voldemort's thoughts and feelings at any second. I didn't like that feeling at all.

"Just to make everything normal again," I finally admitted.

"Being normal is vastly overrated."

"I'll try to remember that."

Dumbledore patted my knee again.

"I have some other matters to discuss with you, Cadence," he said. "Concerning your Grandfather. But if you'd rather wait until the morning when you've rested more that is fine."

"No," I said quickly. I really didn't want to sleep out of fear that I would have more nightmares of my Father. "It's okay. We can talk now."

"Okay," Dumbledore said slowly. "Your Grandfather's will arrived this morning here it is for you."

I held out my hand and Dumbledore placed a thick packet of parchment in my hands. I don't know why I took it from him because I couldn't see it to read it.

"He left everything to you," said Dumbledore very slowly.

"Including the house?" I asked.

"Yes, including the house," Dumbledore said. "And the summer house in France."

"I have a summer house in France?" I questioned. My mouth stayed open a little in shock.

"And a cottage in Whales."

"Shit," I whispered.

Dumbledore chuckled a little.

"You've inherited a great deal of valuables and property Cadence," he said. "I suggest you take good care of them and make wise decisions about their upkeep." He paused for a moment. "Also, I think it wise that you not stay by yourself this coming holiday."

"Yes," I nodded. "Sirius had asked me about that. I think he wants me to stay with him at his flat. But I'd hate to leave that house empty all summer."

"But also Cadence, your Grandfather's home is being watched," said Dumbledore. "Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing to leave it alone for now."

I nodded my head slowly.

"That is true. I suppose I can get some things from it before going to Sirius's, if he'll let me stay with him."

"I'm sure he will."

"Or I could go to France or Whales."

Dumbledore chuckled again.

"I'd prefer if you stayed in the country. It will be easier to keep an eye on you."

"You're going to be watching me too?"

"Of course, Cadence."

I didn't argue with him. I knew that no matter what I said Albus Dumbledore wasn't going to let me out of his care for too long.

"Now why don't you get some rest?" he said standing up. "You need to gain your strength back. Madame Pomphrey will come in tomorrow morning with a potion for you to drink."

"I only have two more, correct?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "Sleep well."

I frowned slightly and thanked him. I really didn't want to go to sleep, as tired as I was. I knew I was weak because my body felt exhausted just from the hour or so I had been awake talking with my friends and Dumbledore. I felt kind of pathetic. How could I be that weak?

I laid down and closed my eyes. There was nothing to be done to avoid sleeping. I was exhausted, and I needed the rest. I'd just have to face anything that came to me in my sleep. I hoped I didn't have to face Him though. I didn't want to look at Him again. He was too dark. I feared that if I said Him again he'd be able to see me and know exactly where I was and what I was thinking.

_Connecto Anima_, I thought. _As if being his daughter wasn't enough. Now I'm really cursed. _


	19. Daughter of Dark Magic

Within two days my eyesight returned better then ever

Within two days my eyesight returned better then ever. I was allowed to leave the hospital wing Sunday evening, after dinner, with just enough time to pack before I was supposed to leave the next morning. Lily was the only girl in the dormitory when I arrived and she jumped off her bed to greet me. She hugged me tightly and I couldn't help but smile a little.

Despite the inner struggle that I felt everyday, I knew that I was loved by my friends. I had people who cared about me, and believed in me. I was good because they helped me be and there was no way I could ever tell them how thankful I was.

"Are you already packed?"

"Yes," Lily said sitting back down on her bed.

"Where is everyone else?"

"Don't know," Lily shrugged. "Do you need help packing?"

"No," I shook my head and looked at my bed that was surrounded by my belongings and mess. The rest of the dormitory looked spotless, neat and clean. Everyone else had already packed up their things and cleaned everything. The only thing left to do was make a bed tomorrow morning before they left for breakfast.

"I don't know if I'm ready to leave," I admitted softly.

Lily smiled a little.

"I don't know if I am either," she said. "But I'd like to see my family again. And we'll be back in three months time."

I nodded.

"That's why I don't want to leave. I don't have anyone to go home to," I whispered. "I just have a giant house that's being watched by Death Eaters, full of stuff. There isn't much to provide any welcome."

"I'm sorry," whispered Lily. "But everything is going to be okay, Cadence. Healing takes time."

I nodded and looked at her over my shoulder as I packed my books into my trunk.

"I know that," I said. "I still haven't completely forgiven my Mother."

Lily frowned a little.

"I can't imagine the pain you've felt over the last year."

"A lot," I said with a sigh.

"You're strong Cadence, it will be okay."

I nodded.

"Thanks Lily," I said.

"Are you going to stay with Sirius for the summer?"

I looked at her and blinked for a moment.

"I haven't really thought about it," I whispered, lying. I had been thinking of living with Sirius and what it would be like. I knew I'd like it very much because I wanted to spend every moment I could with him. But the reality was that I was in constant danger, and even more so because I wouldn't be protected by the walls of Hogwarts over the summer holiday. Voldemort would be able to find me much easier in London in Sirius's flat then perhaps in France, on the shore of the Mediterranean. The thought of going to France for the summer had crossed my mind a few times, but Dumbledore had wished for me to stay in the country. And I know Sirius wouldn't let me leave alone.

Demetrius hopped up on my bed and I beamed at him.

"Hey you," I said scratching his head behind the ears. "Why haven't you come to see me since I got back? Been staying up in Sirius's dormitory?"

Demetrius did nothing but purr under my hand. I smiled more and continued to pack as he settled himself on my pillow.

"I don't think it'd be a bad thing for you to stay with Sirius," said Lily slowly. I looked at her with curious eyes and she continued. "He really does care about you Cadence. I never thought I'd say this about Sirius, but he's completely and madly in love with you. I've never seen him care about someone the way he cares about you. I know he'd do anything for you. When you were gone…well I thought for sure he'd try and find another girl to get over you but he never gave up hope. He knew deep down in his heart and soul that you were coming back to him."

I stared at Lily for a long time then nodded slowly.

"I know that," I whispered with a smile. "He loves me and I love him very much. It's been hard to love him, to trust anyone really, but every time I went to bed at Gabriel's house I thought of Sirius. I wished that he would move on because I didn't know if I was coming back. He has more faith in me and our relationship then I do."

"And that's a very big thing for a guy like Sirius Black," Lily said with a smile.

"What about you and James? You never told me how you two stared being all friendly."

"We just have a better understanding of each other now," said Lily laying on her bed. I smirked at her. She wasn't going to tell me anymore. I went to her and poked her side.

"You have to tell me more then that!"

"There isn't more to tell," she said quickly. But I could tell by the smile on her face and the glimmer in her eyes that she was lying. There was something more to tell, I knew it.

"Have you two kissed?"

Lily didn't answer right away, and slowly her cheeks turned to a sort of pink. I smiled and poked her side again, as I repositioned myself and tucked my legs under me.

"You did!? When?"

"A few weeks ago."

"So Sirius is right, you want to jump James's bones?"

"Sirius doesn't know what he's talking about," Lily said sitting up. "I like James, but I don't know how serious I want to be with him. He's still a giant git sometimes."

"Men will always be giant gits from time to time."

Lily laughed and nodded.

"Agreed."

"Do you think you and James could get serious?" I asked.

"Well I don't know," Lily said. "We haven't even gone on a date yet. We've just been talking and getting to know each other."

"And kissing."

"Only a few times!" Lily insisted as her cheeks flushed again. I smiled and laughed a little.

"It's okay that you like him, Lily. I think it's cute actually."

"Why?"

"Because you hated him so much at the beginning of the year."

Lily laughed a little.

"Well he's stopped being such a big headed git. Now he's just being a git to other people."

"Oh and not being big headed makes such a difference?"

"Yes," Lily nodded. "He used to pick on little kids left and right, and him and Sirius would specifically pick on Severus."

"And they've stopped?"

"Well he don't pick on just anyone anymore," Lily shrugged. "They pick on Severus still, but I really…well there isn't much I can do about that."

I looked at her for a few moments with deep serious eyes.

"Were you two really that good of friends?"

Lily nodded slowly.

"I've never told anyone, but we grew up together. He lives in the same neighborhood as me, and he told me all about being a witch before I came to Hogwarts. We'd spend summers together and get to know each other and magic. He was the first person I ever knew who could do magic like me, and well I guess that made me feel drawn to him. We were close until last year when he called me a mud-blood."

I nodded and patted Lily's hand. She looked a little sad as she talked about Severus. She had good reason. He was a good friend of hers, a long-time friend and he was slipping away. Lily was losing Severus to my Father.

She blinked and forced a smile, looking at me and changed the subject.

"So where is Sirius's flat?"

"Somewhere in London," I said standing up off her bed and throwing some of my clothes in my trunk. "Not sure where exactly."

Lily nodded her head.

"I'll have to come by and visit sometime," she said.

"Do you think you could handle being with Sirius like that?" I questioned.

"Yes," Lily nodded her head. "As long as he isn't too full of himself and his good looks."

I laughed a little and nodded.

"I think he can handle that. Maybe James, Remus and Peter should come over too. We could have a little barbeque."

"That sounds like fun," Lily smiled.

"I'll talk to Sirius about it."

I finished packing as the dormitory filled with the other sixth year girls. None of them spoke to me as I packed, and before long I was the only one still awake in the room. Lily even went to bed before I did, apologizing that she couldn't stay up to talk with me or help me. It didn't bother me though. I'd rather think in the silence as I packed then listen to people talk in low whispers about me and try to ignore it by talking to Lily. Finally, by midnight, I laid down in bed ready to leave the next morning. I remained wide awake in my bed though and didn't sleep the night. I had slept so much the last few days that I found it difficult to sleep then. Not that I minded. If I didn't sleep I didn't have nightmares.

The next morning I woke after about an hour of sleep. Everyone was bustling around the dormitory noisily, collecting their things and throwing items into their trunks for last minute packing. Demetrius was lying by my head on my pillow, watching with big yellow eyes as the girls moved around the room. I noticed that Lily's bed was already empty and her bags gone. As I stood up from my bed it grew a little quieter in the dormitory, and before I knew it I was by myself. I frowned deeply. Were people really afraid of me that much?

As I left my dormitory with my belongings I realized that it was more then fear that was keeping people away from me. The common room was full of students waiting for friends, chatting, and exchange addresses. Everything seemed to stop when I entered the room though. Sirius came weaving through the crowd quickly and took my arm.

"Let's get down to breakfast," he said. "I'm starving."

"What's going on?" I asked as he lead me forward. The crowd of Gryffindors seemed to part as I approached.

"Nothing," said Lily coming over and picking up my back pack. She threw it over her shoulder and picked up the basket with Demetrius in it. "How'd you carry all of this downstairs by yourself?"

I didn't answer as James and Remus came over, picking up my trunk.

"Guys, stop," I said grabbing hold of my trunk. "I can carry my trunk."

"Are you sure, Cadence?" Remus asked.

I looked at him with raised eyebrows. Since when was he talking to me? Last time I checked I was as good as a Death Eater in his eyes.

"Let them take it, Cadence, they're just trying to help," Sirius said. He opened the porthole and Lily went through it with my bag and basket. I looked around me at all the Gryffindors who were still staring at me. "Cadence," Sirius said holding my arm still. I pulled it from his grasp and glared out at the people around me.

"Did someone die?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.

No one said anything. James and Remus could be heard pushing my trunk through the porthole, but that was the only sound.

"Why is everyone staring at me like I'm the living dead?" I shouted.

"Cadence," whispered Sirius in my ear sternly. "Come on."

I looked up at him with raised eyebrows and then glared at him. I stepped through the porthole and grabbed my trunk handle and Demetrius's basket that Lily had set down. I didn't care if she still had by back pack, I'd get it back later. I began to walk down the hall past them with long strides as Sirius climbed out of the porthole and closed the picture.

"Cadence! Hold on!" he shouted coming after me.

"Will you please wait?" Lily called. "It's just a misunderstanding I'm sure!"

I stopped dead and turned to look at the four of them down the hall.

"What is a misunderstanding?" I hissed.

Sirius glared at Lily and approached me.

"Severus Snape is spreading a rumor that you are Voldemort's daughter."

"And how does he know of such a thing?"

"I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't tell me," Lily said. "Cadence, I'm sure there's something we don't know about or understand."

I paused and looked back at the picture of the Fat Lady who was giving me a very cautious and frightened glance.

"Word travels fast," I whispered. I looked at Lily. "I don't think there's a misunderstanding, Lily. If Severus has been involved with people who's parents are involved with my Father I'm sure that it was just a matter of time before one of the Slytherin's spilled. If you will excuse me."

I turned sharply and marched down the hall.

"Where are you going!?" Sirius called after me.

"To get some breakfast," I said harshly.

"We've already rung Snivellus out for it!" James yelled.

I ignored him and continued my speedy walk down to the Great Hall. I marched straight into the hall and towards the Slytherin table, spotting Severus Snape's greasy head instantly. He was sitting amongst a large group of Slytherin's, talking and laughing. It was a sight I had never seen—Severus Snape as the center of attention. It wouldn't last long though. Just before I arrived at his table he looked up and saw me coming. I glared even more harshly. I didn't care if the hall was full of my peers, or if the head table was full of Hogwarts staff, I was going to give Snape a piece of my mind—or rather I was going to give him a good taste of my fist.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the daughter of dark magic," he said standing up and sneering. "Here to grace us with your presences?"

I didn't even speak; I balled my fist and threw it straight into his face. There was a horrible bursting sound from Snape's nose, and a grunt and cry of pain as blood poured down his front. He made to reach for his wand but I grabbed his wrist, twisted his arm and pinned him straight down to the table. I heard Lily scream and mutter a no, but I wasn't going to let this git get the best of me. I wasn't going to let him think that he won, and I most certainly wasn't going to let him think that I was Voldemort's daughter.

"Teach you to spread a dirty rumor about me, won't it!" I snapped loudly. I looked up at the other Slytherin's who were more then stunned at my actions. "Anybody else want to call me Voldemort's daughter?" Nobody moved or said anything. "That's what I thought."

I released Snape and he sat up straight, putting his hand to his nose and touching it gently.

"You made a big mistake Riddle," he spat. I glared at him.

"Cadence, don't," said Sirius grabbing my arms.

"Get off me Sirius!"

"He more then deserves it, but _this isn't the place!_"

"Aw, dear Black always here to save the day," Snape said standing up and pulling out his wand. "Keep your mudblood loving girlfriend on a shorter leash."

"Do you want me to break another body part!?" I asked violently breaking free of Sirius and grabbing Snape's robes by the collar. He shoved me off of him and spat on my face.

"You're a disgrace to your Father's name," he said. "To think that you are even remotely related to him is an insult to his power."

I made to sock Snape again but Sirius grabbed me and restrained me.

"Miss Coleman!" shouted an outraged voice. I frowned and saw Professor McGonagall looking down at me. Sirius released me and frowned also at McGonagall. "What for the love of Merlin do you think are you doing?"

"Teaching a nasty liar a lesson," I snapped glaring in Snape's direction. "He's spreading rumors about me."

McGonagall looked between Snape and me and laid a nasty glare on me.

"That may be, Miss Coleman, but it is not your position to teach lessons, to anyone, especially on the subject of lying," said McGonagall crossly. "I'm taking fifty points from Gryffindor."

I shrugged.

"Have them," I whispered.

"What did you say?" she snapped.

"Nothing," I said looking up at her. "I'm sorry Professor."

McGonagall nodded her head once and turned to Snape.

"You will do your best to remember your place Mr. Snape. And I promise you, it is _not_ spreading rumors about people being related to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

She turned and marched away as Sirius held my arm and began to lead me away. I kept my eyes locked on Snape, glaring him down. He turned his back to me and tapped his wand to his face to fix his broken nose. I pulled my arm out of Sirius's grasp and walked to the Gryffindor table, sitting down harshly.

"He's lucky I didn't break more then his nose."

"That was a good punch though," smiled James.

"James," scolded Lily.

"Well it was!" James said. "And the way you pinned him to the table, awesome."

"Thanks James," I whispered serving myself some eggs. "But awesome wasn't really what I was going for."

James nodded his head and glanced at Sirius who looked a little worried.

"What's the matter?" James asked.

"I'm just worried about how Snape came to think that you're Voldemort's daughter," he whispered. I blinked and looked at him.

"That does seem odd," said Remus nodding his head. "I would think, if you were Voldemort's daughter and he found out, he'd want to be close to you."

I said nothing and nodded my head slowly.

"Who knows how Snivellus thinks over there," said Sirius eating his breakfast.

"Do you think everyone believes it?" I asked as some Ravenclaws walked by the table staring at me, and whispering to each other.

"People believe what they want to," Remus shrugged.

I looked at him. "I know. What do you believe, Remus?"

"That you're a good person," he said. "And you make the right choices."

I smiled a little.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"You're welcome," he said smiling too.

"Sirius I wouldn't worry too much," said Lily. "It's just a rumor. He probably made it up."

I nodded and ate some more.

"Of course he did," I said smoothly. I looked up as more people walked by and stared at me.

"Maybe they're staring at you because you beat up Snape," said James with a smile.

"I wish," I said rubbing my head. "When does the train leave?"

"Eleven o'clock," said Lily. I nodded.

"Oh," I looked up at Sirius. "Am I staying with you this summer?"

"Where else would you like to stay?" Sirius asked.

"I was thinking France."

"France?" Sirius looked at me perplexed.

"Yea," I nodded with a smile. "On a hot sunny beach on the Mediterranean."

"That sounds pretty tempting."

I leaned closer to him.

"Doesn't it?"

"Let's go to my place first though," he said kissing my forehead. "How are we going to get to France? And where are we staying?"

"Apparently my Grandfather owned a place there," I said. "Which means I now own a place in Southern France on the Mediterranean."

Sirius smiled and nodded.

"Awesome."

"Hey, you can't leave us behind," said James pointing to himself, Remus and Lily.

"Or Peter," said Lily. I looked around.

"Where is Peter?"

"Still up in the dormitory packing," said Remus. I nodded slowly.

"So my place then France, that sounds like a good summer holiday," Sirius said wrapping an arm around me.

"Yea," I whispered. "A holiday would be nice after this year."

Sirius smiled and kissed my cheek.

"You need it."

I laughed a little and rested my head on his shoulder. Perhaps life wouldn't be so bad after all. I was going to make the best of this summer—I was going to spend it with Sirius, the only man I loved and trusted. I wasn't going to worry about Snape's little stunt, and I wasn't going to worry about my Father. I wasn't going to let him control my life by living in fear.


	20. Different Flashes

I no longer see a blinding flash of white light in my dreams

_I no longer see a blinding flash of white light in my dreams. Now, I see darkness, death and despair. I see flashes of green coming from the wand of my Father, Lord Voldemort. These green flashes don't puzzle me like the white flashes used to. I'd give anything to have the white flashes back. I liked not knowing what they meant; I hate knowing that the green flashes means my Father is killing someone. _

_I wish I had never come to know who, or what, my Father is. I would have died happy not knowing anything about him at all, but I suppose life isn't always laid out just to make you happy. Learning who my Father was did teach me where I come from—and it is not a source of power that I'm proud of. The only thing that I have to comfort me is the choice to use my powers for good. _

_All the time, I wish I didn't have those flashes in my dreams. If I didn't see the blinding green light, I wouldn't wonder who was dying in that moment. I wouldn't think about my life and wonder what I could have done better, what I could have found out and what I could have seen. I wouldn't think about my Father and how much I wanted to forget about him the moment I found out who he was…I just wish that I didn't know. I wish for so many things to have been different. _


End file.
